Chapter 291: confession
I blinked. "Ouch."
She shrugged with zero remorse. "He’s my brother. What do you want from me?"
We shared a soft laugh. And then her expression softened.
"But also, cut yourself some slack, Aria. No one’s perfect. Everyone’s a little fucked up. In their own way."
I shook my head. "Not you though. You’re like... flawless."
Ash actually laughed at that. Loud and nervous and almost sad.
"God, I wish," she muttered. "nepo kids have secrets too, y’know."
I tilted my head. "What kind of secrets?"
She didn’t answer immediately. Just sipped her drink and gave me this long, thoughtful stare. I could see something working behind her eyes... some battle of choice and courage... and then finally she said, "I’m still surprised you haven’t guessed."
I frowned. "Guessed what?"
Ash turned away from me slightly, gaze slipping back out over the skyline. "You asked me once why I wasn’t fighting with you over Kael," she said slowly. "Why I wasn’t clawing for him like some lovesick heiress."
I nodded, heart creeping up into my throat.
"It’s because I’ve already had someone I loved. Deeply. Fiercely." Her voice trembled for just a second. "And I left her behind."
My lips parted. "Ash..."
"She wanted me to run away with her. Told me we could build a life somewhere far. Quiet. Free." Ash smiled bitterly. "But I let my father convince me it was just... fantasy. That there could never be love between two women. Not in our world. Not if I wanted a future that didn’t end in disaster."
I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t even breathe.
"And now," she continued, her voice quieter, shakier, "I get to scroll Instagram and see her holding someone else’s hand. Smiling in a way she used to only smile for me."
Something sharp tore through my chest. "Ash..."
She didn’t look at me. Didn’t let me see her face.
"I chose legacy over love," she whispered. "And sometimes I think that makes me a coward too... because y’know... I wanted the safest choice."
I reached for her hand. My fingers laced through hers without thinking, holding her tightly.
The silence stretched on for a while.
"Somehow everything makes sense now," I murmured, breaking the silence. "That you fancy girls."
Ash turned to me, blinking. I gave her a lopsided smile. "I mean... I should’ve known. Especially with that aggressive, indirect flirting you do."
Ash let out a short laugh, her mouth twitching like she hadn’t expected me to tease her. "I was wondering when you’d bring that up."
"You did try to ask me out on a date after meeting for the second time I think."
She shrugged, unbothered. "Guilty. But in my defense, you looked too pretty not to fluster."
I giggled, head falling back. The alcohol made the stars feel closer. Softer. My lungs felt a little lighter.
Ash sighed beside me. "I’ve always known. Since I was a kid. The idea of being with a man just never clicked for me. At all. It felt... wrong. Like wearing shoes on the wrong feet and trying to convince yourself they fit."
Her voice dipped lower, more guarded. "And with you? I knew it would end up like Sylas if I let myself go there. I didn’t want that."
I looked over at her, heart pinching. "You shouldn’t say stuff like that."
Ash met my eyes with that crooked, tired smile... the one people wear when they’ve already made peace with their pain. "It’s true though. I’m not made for love."
"Yes, you are," I said quietly, fiercely. "You just haven’t met the one who deserves you yet."
She didn’t argue. But she didn’t agree either.
So I breathed in. And it felt like my own truth was clawing to get out next. My chest tightened.
"I think I’m the one who’s not made for love," I confessed. "Not really. Because it... it scares me. So fucking much. I thought I knew what falling in love was until I met him."
Ash didn’t interrupt. Just listened.
"I keep pretending I’m fine, like I’ve got it all under control. Like I’m not waiting for the other shoe to drop with every person I care about. Like I’m not constantly bracing for someone to leave me. Or break me. Or die."
I swallowed hard. The lump in my throat burned more than the drink.
Ash asked softly, "Have you been in touch with Kael?"
My heart thudded against my ribs. "No."
A silence passed. Then she said it: "Last time I saw him, he looked like he’s going through it."
A new worry bloomed sharp in my chest. Was he drinking again? Not sleeping? Hurting?
The ache of missing him came in one overwhelming wave. It swallowed me whole.
"I miss him," I whispered before I could stop myself.
Ash stayed quiet.
"I miss him so fucking much, Ash." My voice cracked. "And I’ve never even told him."
"Told him what?"
And before I could even think to stop myself, I blurted it.
"I think I want to tell Kael I love him."
I stared at her, breath caught in my lungs, heart in freefall.
"Like... right now."
It hit me like a wave. That need.
That aching, burning need to just... tell him. Not tomorrow. Not in some planned, perfect moment. Not when I’ve cleaned up my mess of a heart and rehearsed the words a hundred times over.
Now.
I sat up straighter, fumbling for my phone. My fingers trembled, either from the alcohol or something far more terrifying.
Ash blinked. "Wait... what are you doing?"
"I’m calling him."
"Aria."
"I need to tell him... "
"No, no." She practically lunged at me, grabbing my wrist before I could hit call. "If you’re going to say something like that... it can’t be on a fucking phone call."
My mouth opened to argue, but the look on her face stopped me.
Ash ran a hand through her hair and muttered, "God, you’re really going to do this, aren’t you?"
I swallowed thickly. "I think I am."
She exhaled like she was trying to keep me from throwing myself off a metaphorical cliff. "Okay... okay. Give me a second."
She reached for her own phone and started scrolling. "I think I still have Niko’s number from that gallery event..."
I could barely hear her over the pounding of my heart. What was I even doing?
Before I could change my mind, she pressed her phone to her ear. "Don’t say anything," she mouthed to me.
It rang once. Twice.
Then, "Niko? Hey... it’s Ash."
A beat.
"Yeah, it’s random, I know. I just... listen. Where’s Kael right now?"
I froze.
"...No, everything is fine. We’re not planning an ambush," she added dryly. "Just... humor me."
Another pause. Then she looked at me, eyebrows raising slightly as she repeated the address slowly. I locked it into memory like it was sacred scripture.
The moment she ended the call, I was already pushing up to my feet. My knees wobbled and the world dipped slightly... but I didn’t care.
"I’m going," I said, clutching my phone like it was a lifeline.
"You’re still drunk," Ash reminded me, gently, not unkindly. "Are you sure you know what you’re doing?"
"No."
The word came out small. Honest. Real.
Ash studied me for a moment. Then she cracked a smile and nodded. "Well... that’s good enough."
She pulled out her phone again. "I’m calling the driver."
The wind outside was sharp when we stepped out. Ash opened the door to the sleek black car waiting at the curb and I slid in like I wasn’t about to do something completely reckless and irreversible.
But my heart... my stupid, stupid heart... was already racing ahead.
Because I had to see him.
Even if I made a fool of myself. Even if he didn’t want to see me. Even if the only thing I had to offer him was the truth I’d buried too deep for too long.
I just needed to tell Kael Roman...
That I loved him.