Chapter 235: Chapter 235
- HAZEL -
I just came out of the shower, drying my hair with a towel.
That was close. I don’t know what I’d have done if it was someone else who had been there at that time. I don’t know if I should be glad about it or not. I didn’t like the look on Killian’s face and even I am aware of how bad what my decision is. I’m aware of the toll it would have on someone’s partner and if this case was reversed, I know I would’ve reacted way worse.
My maturity is not heightened enough to not let it get the best of me.
Maybe part of me would’ve been more relieved to see someone else. Maybe then, despite the risk it would’ve caused, I could rest assured knowing the worst has happened and I could move forward. And with him. One thing I know is that Killian would never leave me. Not in a situation that dire either.
At least in a spot where all my friends’ hearts would be torn away from me, he’d be by my side even though it would make it worse. I let out a sigh while rubbing my lotion on my skin.
This whole thing with him and I is like a replay of Tristan and Ivy. I wonder if it started this way with the two of them too and if the day I caught them was just the two of them bonding intimately. An advancement of the passion they both shared. Maybe I was too clouded by my own heartbreak to sit with the two of them and ask, to hear them out.
But that day wasn’t any better for me too. It was our anniversary. Wrong day to plan to cheat. The worst hour too.
I put on a bra. My matching undies follow and I walk back to the bathroom to hang both towels on the respective towel wall heater-hangers.
I shake my head, bringing myself back to my thoughts. Even if Tristan and Ivy were genuine, they wouldn’t have done what they were doing while putting on my things. Things meant to be used for solely that purpose. At that point, the two of them just wanted to be disrespectful to me. And if they were indeed in love, Ivy wouldn’t have pulled up that charade she did with someone else’s man almost immediately after.
Theirs was all but a dumb fluke based on a false passion of lust for what never belonged to them. I doubt they were ever under the illusion that they were in love and if I never found out, they still would be frolicking with each other under my very own nose and I doubt I would ever come to terms with that even though that train has long sailed.
Knowing that the man I trust the most would’ve been lying to me continuously while fucking one of my closest friends and telling me he loves me while she would act nice in pretence already makes me feel sick.
They’re both lying, ungrateful and terrible vultures who deserve every bit of karma that came to them and is still coming to them! None of them even reached out to me. If they did, I never would’ve known as I blocked them both but still, my answer remains the same. None of them went above their means to reach out to me. That sucked.
I let out a sigh and fall on my bed. This anger. . . The one I have right now while thinking about the two of them is probably what Kate would assume if she finds out about Killian and my relationship from another source.
And me being with Killian if she indeed discovered our secret romance from someone else would only make things worse. My throat creases.
I honestly don’t know the best way to tell it to her. How do I tell my best friend that I’m in love and fucking her finacé?
Not a boyfriend or a talking stage but someone she is engaged to.
How do I even explain myself?!
Or even justify it?
Maybe the fact that they’re in an open relationship would help?
I shake my head. For me to know that part when she did not tell me already exposes the fact that I got accustomed to him long before I knew that information.
My first mistake was not telling her he was the one I slept with the day I met him. Maybe if I told her that her man had an affair and it was with me, things would be less horrible if we are together now. Less horrible is all because it still would be weird but maybe the attraction would be more understandable. I mean, I’m a woman, every woman’s hormones is destined to be drawn to whoever she sleeps with. Even for a little bit.
Maybe me not keeping that part a secret would’ve been more helpful now. I don’t even know.
Just what do I do? I want to end this secrecy but I don’t know where to start from nor how to start. I’m so entangled in this that I am so lost in the thing of my own making and the one person I could ask for advice can’t even be seen with me. At least, not with the way we look at each other. I feel so choked in a cage of my making. It’s suffocating.
I sit up. Sulking on my bed would do me no good now. I have to get dressed.
I stand up.
Gentle knocks suddenly come from the door.
“Who is it?” I ask. It is unusual for my friends to knock before coming into my allocated room. I have nothing to hide from them, at least.
Well, nothing major that gives off my secret to them unless one of them magically have access to my diary on my laptop which will never happen with the way I’ve hidden the file into folders which I snuck into more folders with names out of this world to never leave some kind of suspicion.
“It’s Liam, darling.”
For some weird reason I don’t understand, hearing his voice made my heart skip a beat. Maybe it’s because I just saw him and he witnessed my alone time with Killian.
“Please give me a moment, let me get ready.” I say, getting up from the bed.
The chuckle that blares through the door leaves me somewhat startled. “Odd you’d need to hide yourself from me, amor, what exactly would I not have seen?” The joke in his tone is obvious and I can hear the sarcasm. I know what his words entail but I couldn’t help but feel weird about it.
If indeed we were ‘together’, I won’t have a problem with it so openly. I let out a sigh.
“New places, new experiences.” I murmur teasingly, matching his words. Liam is looking out for me way better than me, that much I appreciate. I wonder if he would ever go out of his way to do that for me if I wasn’t entangled with his brother. This leaves me to question if he truly is indeed a gentleman on the outside as I know him to be, or if he’s selective on whom he displays his kindness to. That is something I don’t think I want to find out. Especially not now.
“Let me know when you’re out, darling.” Liam spells out flirtatiously. Well, it seems that flirting has never been hard for him to do from what I know. He does it so effortlessly that you’d think it is a skill he was born with. “I have to talk to you about something important.” He adds, his tone more serious than before. This makes my brows furrow for a second. “Something about my brother.”