Chapter 50: The sleeping cultivator
The sun was shining bright above the arena. The crowd had gathered early. Everyone wanted to see what nonsense would happen this time.
After the shouting man and the dancing man, nobody expected a normal fight anymore.
Whispers filled the air.
"Who’s he facing now?"
"I heard this guy is strange."
"How strange?"
"Stranger than last time."
The gong rang.
A man slowly walked onto the stage. Well, not really walked. He yawned every three steps, dragged his feet, and looked like he hadn’t slept in ten years. His hair was messy, his robe wrinkled, and he even carried a pillow under one arm.
He yawned again, sat down on the stage, and curled up on the floor.
The referee blinked. "Uh... are you ready to fight?"
The man mumbled, "Five more minutes..." and instantly began snoring.
The crowd exploded with laughter.
"Is he serious?"
"He came to the arena to sleep?!"
"This sect is doomed!"
Li Ming rubbed his temples. "You’ve got to be kidding me. First a dancer, now a sleeper?"
The referee sighed and shouted, "Opponent, wake up! The duel has started!"
The man didn’t even move. He just snored louder.
Li Ming frowned. "What’s his name anyway?"
Someone in the crowd shouted back, "That’s Han Zhou! People call him the Sleeping Cultivator!"
"Sleeping Cultivator?" Li Ming repeated. "What’s next? The Farming Cultivator? The Snoring Immortal?"
The audience laughed even harder.
Li Ming walked up to the man and poked him with his sword. "Hey. Wake up. We’re supposed to fight."
Han Zhou rolled over, clutching his pillow. "Don’t bother me. I’m cultivating... in my dreams."
The crowd howled.
Li Ming stared at him. "Cultivating in your dreams? Are you serious?"
Han Zhou mumbled, "I train in the dream world. My spirit grows while my body rests. Much faster than your silly training."
He yawned again, stretched out, and went right back to sleep.
The referee looked helpless. "Li Ming... you might have to... attack him."
Li Ming sighed. "Fine. But this feels like bullying."
He raised his sword and lightly tapped Han Zhou’s shoulder.
In an instant, Han Zhou’s eyes shot open. He sprang up like a spring, still holding his pillow.
"You dare wake me?!" he shouted. "Taste my ultimate technique—Pillow Smack!"
He swung his pillow at Li Ming’s head with surprising speed.
BAM!
Li Ming stumbled back. "Ow! That actually hurt! What’s in that pillow, rocks?!"
Han Zhou yawned. "This pillow is filled with iron sand... helps me sleep better."
The crowd nearly died laughing.
Han Zhou rubbed his eyes, yawned again, and collapsed back onto the floor. "Okay, I’m tired now. Good night."
Li Ming shouted, "You can’t just hit me once and go back to bed!"
Han Zhou mumbled, "Dream fight... see you inside..." and started snoring again.
The referee covered his face. "This is ridiculous."
Li Ming groaned, walked over, and grabbed the pillow. "Alright, nap time is over!"
He tried to pull it away, but Han Zhou clung to it like his life depended on it. The two of them ended up spinning in circles, wrestling over a pillow in the middle of the arena.
The crowd was in tears from laughing. Some shouted, "Pillow battle! Pillow battle!"
Finally, Li Ming yanked hard and pulled the pillow free. But Han Zhou, still asleep, didn’t let go. He was dragged along with it, rolling across the stage until he smacked into a wall.
THUD!
Han Zhou didn’t even wake up. He just muttered, "Five more minutes, mom..." and continued sleeping against the wall.
The referee had seen enough. He raised his hand. "Winner, Li Ming!"
The crowd erupted into cheers and laughter.
Li Ming tossed the pillow aside. "This tournament is cursed. First a dancer, now a sleeper. What’s next? Someone who fights by eating?"
The audience howled even louder. Some disciples shouted, "Yes! Bring us the Eating Cultivator next!"
---
Bonus Bit
That night, Li Ming was about to rest when he heard snoring outside his room.
He opened the door and saw Han Zhou lying right there in the hallway, using the floor as his bed. The pillow was back in his arms.
Han Zhou muttered in his sleep, "In my dream... I defeated ten thousand demons..."
Li Ming shook his head. "Yeah, sure. Meanwhile, in real life, you lost to me while drooling on the stage."
To be continued...