Chapter 175: Because I Lost My Best Friend Too
Ash’s POV
I had finally managed to convince Dominic to come home with me. Tomorrow was Liam’s funeral, just like Diana had told me earlier.
She’d been worried about him, and honestly... I was too.
We boarded a cab, and by the time I slid in beside him, Dom was already out cold. His head lolled against my shoulder, his hair tickling my cheek.
I shifted slightly, but didn’t dare move him away. He needed this. He needed to sleep, to rest. Anything that wasn’t the hell running circles in his head.
His body was warm against mine, but not the good kind of warm. Feverish. His forehead felt hot when it brushed against my jaw. My chest tightened. He was exhausted, inside and out.
I sighed, pulling out my phone. My notifications were a mess....June’s name filling the screen like she was singlehandedly trying to break my inbox. Missed calls. Voicemails. Almost fifty messages.
I didn’t even think twice. I called.
The line rang once before she picked up.
"Ash! Thank goodness. Please tell me you’re with Dominic."
I glanced at him, head on my shoulder, lips parted in deep, shaky breaths. "Yeah. He’s with me now. We boarded a ride, we’re on our way home."
Her relief was so loud I could hear it in the silence between her breaths.
"Tell Ian I said thank you," I added quietly. "And... take care of yourself too, June."
"Yeah," she whispered. "You too."
The line went dead.
The cab slowed to a stop. The driver mumbled, "We’re here."
I nudged Dom gently, but he didn’t budge, just groaned and buried his face against my shoulder like a kid refusing to get up for school.
"Come on, man," I murmured, wrapping an arm around him and holding him up. He was heavy, dead weight, but I managed. "We’re home."
Dragging him toward the door, I fumbled with my keys until it finally clicked open. I guided him inside, past the dim hallway and into my room.
The second I got him onto the bed, he collapsed face first into the pillow. Shoes still on, jacket half off. He was out cold.
I stood there for a second, just staring at him. My boyfriend was broken in ways I couldn’t fix.
"Sleep," I whispered, pulling his shoes off and tossing a blanket over him. "Tomorrow’s gonna be hard. But you’re not facing it alone."
I sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing my hands over my face. My own chest hurt, but at least he was here with me. At least he was safe.
For now.
I sat there in the dark, the sound of Dominic’s shallow breathing was the only thing in the room. His fever made his face look even paler.
And all I could think was....if Dominic could break like this because he lost Liam... what about me?
Because I lost my best friend too.
Marcus.
My chest ached in that ugly, sharp way that no amount of deep breathing fixes. Marcus wasn’t dead, but it felt like a funeral every time I thought about him leaving me behind.
I pulled out my phone, stared at his contact. My thumb hovered. Called once. No answer.
I swallowed hard, the burn in my throat was worse than any shot of vodka, and I opened the messages instead.
My fingers trembled as I typed.
Me:
I don’t even know if you’ll read this, but I can’t keep it in anymore.
You’ve been the best friend I’ve ever had. The kind of friend people don’t even get once in their lifetime.
When Mom was sick, you were there. When I was falling apart with Alia, you picked me up.
Every single time life tried to break me, you were standing there, holding me together like I wasn’t too much to carry.
And now you want to leave. And I can’t bear it, Marcus. I can’t.
I don’t want to live without you. I don’t want a Blackwell that doesn’t have you in it.
It’s not about choosing. It was never about choosing. I don’t have to pick between you and Dominic....between friendship and love.
My heart is big enough to hold you both. You’re my brother. He’s my boyfriend. Those aren’t the same. They’ll never be the same.
Dominic has been sweet, Marcus. So sweet. And right now, he’s a wreck. He lost his best friend, and it’s destroying him from the inside out. I want to be there for him. I have to be there for him, but I can’t lose you in the process.
You always told me family doesn’t have to be blood. That family is who shows up. Well, you’ve always shown up for me. Always. And I need you to keep showing up.
So please. Please don’t leave Blackwell. Don’t leave me. Don’t make me bury our friendship while I’m still breathing.
Because I don’t know how to survive losing you too.
I stared at the message, read it twice, then hit send before I could chicken out.
My chest heaved, as the screen dimmed.
I glanced at Dominic, curled up in my bed.
And I whispered into the silence, "Don’t take him from me too, God. Don’t let Marcus leave."
I held my phone tighter, my eyes were glued to the screen like if I stared hard enough, Marcus would reply.
And then....my heart jumped.
The three dots popped up.
He was typing.
I sat up straighter, already bracing myself for whatever he was about to say. Anything. I just needed something.
But then... the dots disappeared.
It was gone.
No message.
Just silence again.
I waited. God, I kept waiting. My eyes burned from staring, my chest felt tight with every second that ticked by.
But nothing came.
The screen stayed dark, the room stayed quiet, and eventually... my body gave in.
Still clutching the phone, I dozed off in the chair beside Dominic, waiting for a reply that never came.