Chapter 492: Chapter 484: I Want to be First
"You don’t know what you’re troubled about???"
Ise Yu Yuzhijin’s face was full of disbelief, thinking to himself, "Are you kidding me? Do you think this is my first day knowing you? How could such a confused and passive image ever appear on someone like Shirakawa!"
Shirakawa Sawahei sighed again, nodding heavily. Honestly, the frustration in his heart wasn’t simply due to one particular thing—it wasn’t because of the Little Arrogant’s issues, nor the Black Hearted Lolita’s attacks, nor the myriad of things that had happened since the forest school. If he had to define it, Shirakawa Sawahei felt that the crux of his dilemma was the atmosphere.
The people and things around him were gradually undergoing changes that he found hard to resist and predict.
If it were other aspects, Shirakawa Sawahei was confident he could handle them calmly and perfectly, but when it came to matters involving the girls he spent every day with, he suddenly found his bit of rationality wasn’t quite enough.
This passively entangled self was something he also didn’t want to see, but there was no choice. As things stood, without a powerful push, this feeling of powerlessness would haunt him for quite a while.
"Shirakawa... Could it be that you’re... you’re heartbroken?"
The girl who was slacking off clutched her heart and asked once more the question she least wanted to ask. If before it was mostly a joke, now it was a probing question based somewhat on her own discoveries.
The night when six people stayed together during the forest school... And his usual demeanor...
"Not a heartbreak."
The slacking girl breathed a sigh of relief.
"But it seems somewhat similar..."
The slacking girl: ???
"What does heartbreak feel like?"
Thanks to you, I almost just found out what heartbreak feels like!
"How would I know!" The cute little Ise Yu rarely had a chance to show Shirakawa Sawahei a bad face, pouting in dissatisfaction, "So you’re crazily conquering the female leads in galgames, just to experience what heartbreak feels like?"
"No." Shirakawa Sawahei shook his head and fell silent. After a while, he softly replied, "Maybe it’s boredom."
"Even boredom shouldn’t be like this, Shirakawa." The slacking girl took a deep breath, trembling as she probed, "Could it be... you have someone you like, and that’s why you’re feeling anxious?"
At this moment, when Ise Yu Yuzhijin asked this question, she was deeply conflicted. Because no matter if Shirakawa Sawahei answered yes or no, neither was the answer she wanted.
But sometimes that’s just how it is; even though knowing the answer might be heart-wrenching, people can’t resist the urge to know.
Her heart had never beaten so intensely as at this moment, as if it were about to burst out of her chest.
Are you and Hayakawa in a relationship?
Is your relationship with Sakurazawa really as pure and harmonious as it seems, with neither of you having any thoughts of crossing the line?
What kind of feelings do you have for Tachibana and Kaori?
The seeds of unease had long been planted, it’s just that she never had the right opportunity to ask directly. She had always been searching for the right moment, and now it seemed like the most suitable opportunity had arrived.
Even if there’s only a slight chance, Ise Yu Yuzhijin wanted to hear the answer she desired.
Shirakawa Sawahei fell silent again, and this silence made the girl even more uneasy. She shifted her body, as if wanting to say something, and the boy in front of her quietly spoke.
"To say there is someone I like... It seems that’s not right either."
This time it was the cute little Ise Yu’s turn to be silent. Shirakawa Sawahei thought for a moment and continued, "Though romance can be very torturous, if it were just simply about being in love, it wouldn’t be enough to make me so conflicted. I’m just contemplating what choosing really means."
"An elder once told me, when you can’t choose, focus on the act of choosing itself, and don’t mind what’s behind the choice. But I’ve never been able to understand this, because what’s behind the choice is, in a sense, also part of the choosing..."
"Shirakawa?"
Shirakawa Sawahei’s words were interrupted, he paused, somewhat surprised as he gazed at Ise Yu’s small face. The faint glow of the electronic screen made her face appear somewhat blurred. The girl sniffed and then let out a long sigh.
As if she wanted to expel all the chaotic emotions within her heart.
"You like Hayakawa, right?"
"..."
This sentence seemed to tear open Shirakawa Sawahei’s disguise, leaving him with no retreat.
"Even if it’s not liking, there must be some fondness, right." Ise Yu Yuzhijin continued on her own, "And Sakurazawa, even though she usually just jokes around with you, I can sense that she might not be as carefree as she seems."
"As for Tachibana... Shirakawa has always been very gentle with her, this I know. If it were me, I would also subconsciously want to protect such a cute girl like Tachibana... Hey, Shirakawa, the way you interact with Kaori in private is actually different from when you’re in front of us, isn’t it?"
Shirakawa Sawahei didn’t say anything, or rather he couldn’t say anything, he could only respond with silence.
"I know, I know everything." Ise Yu Yuzhijin’s voice softened, "There are many girls around Shirakawa, even I might not be able to stand out. I’m not as pretty as Hayakawa, nor do I have as great a figure as Sakurazawa... Academically, I’m the worst in the Calligraphy Club... The only thing I’m good at, painting, has even once upset you and caused you a lot of trouble..."
"But... I think I have my own strengths, right? I can keep you company when you’re unhappy, accompany you to brush your teeth and watch the sunrise in the morning, share a Kanto-style hot pot at night... Switch channels for you while watching TV, handle the tempura you don’t like when eating ramen, take walks with you, explore cooking together... There are so many things in this world, I’m sure I can find my unique strengths."
"My own special strengths that are different from other girls."
Looking at Shirakawa Sawahei, Ise Yu Yuzhijin spoke each word seriously, "I know, now I’m in pajamas, my hair is messy and unkempt, I can’t wear makeup, not cute at all, completely unlike what one should look like during a confession... Even so... I still want to say something to Shirakawa."
"I have never been a top student, but in liking you, I want to be number one."
"..."
After saying these words, it seemed as if the girl’s courage was completely exhausted. She slowly got up, with no intention of seeking a response like in a usual confession, turning toward the door. As if she intended to give Shirakawa Sawahei time to consider, or perhaps she needed to cool her own mind.
Shirakawa Sawahei stood still, silently and not responding immediately.
The usually lively and playful, lazing-around girl suddenly gave him, or finally gave him, a choice.
System strategy progress: 99%.
Even with a direct confession, the girl’s strategy progress showed no sign of reaching 100%.