Chapter 125: _ Giving In
Chapter 125
~Heidi’s Point Of View~
Heidi isn’t sure if her lungs still work.
Her chest rises and falls in uneven jerks. As she inhales, it tastes of sweat and musk, every exhale a half-swallowed groan she’s too stubborn to let them hear. Her body feels like it’s been dragged through fire and then drowned in raw and sticky honey with a pleasure that terrifies her almost as much as it satisfies her.
The twins are sprawled against her, heavy, damp with heat, both of them panting like wolves who’ve run down a deer after a relentless hunt. And maybe that’s exactly what she’s been to them tonight: prey. Except, prey doesn’t choose to step into the wolves’ jaws. Prey doesn’t grit her teeth, bare her throat, and say, Fine, eat me, but I’ll make you choke on every bite.
That’s the only reason she let it happen. That’s the only reason she’ll allow herself to remember it without crumbling.
Heat. The damned, cursed heat.
Her whole body has been a furnace for days, her wolf clawing inside her ribs, demanding an outlet, begging for touch, for release... for something other than restraint. She told herself she’d manage it. She told herself she’d wait it out, lock herself away, chain herself down if she had to. But then Amias, who was her almost-salvation, looked her in the eye and told her no. As if she wasn’t burning. As if her need was a stain on his dignity.
Darien hadn’t been any better. Darien who’d taken her once, who’d seen her fall apart in his arms and then tossed her aside like a scrap of cloth. He’d left her in silence, no talks, no look, and no acknowledgement. As if she hadn’t mattered at all.
So tonight she told herself something different. If no one wants me enough to help, then I’ll help myself. If my wolf wants to burn, then fine, I’ll throw myself into the fire. But I’ll choose which flames.
And what better flames than the devils she already knows? The devils whom she already is fated to?
The twins. Her tormentors. Her shadows in the hallways, her cruel laughter on the wind, the ones who’ve made her school years a living misery. Grayson with his lazy grins and dagger-sharp wit. Morgan with his death glares and painful words. They’ve ruined her peace so many times she’s lost count... but tonight, at least, she could ruin them.
She could turn their strength, their Alpha arrogance, into a tool for her own relief. She could use them like they’ve used others. A body is a body, and she’s not too proud to admit that theirs are built like gods.
That’s why, when Grayson cupped her ass and she felt the fire bolt through her spine, she didn’t say no. She leaned in. She let the burn carry her. She told herself she was in control even as her body betrayed her with every gasp, arch, and moan she screamed out.
She told herself it was strategy, not surrender.
But gods, it hadn’t felt like strategy.
It had felt like drowning, like flying, like falling and being caught at the same time. Every touch felt too much, every kiss too sharp, every thrust unraveling her until she forgot her own name. Their hands were everywhere, guiding, pinning, and stroking. Their voices filled her ears, calling her stronger than they thought, pulling confessions from her throat she hadn’t meant to give.
And for a little while, she stopped thinking about hate. About grudges. About all the ways they’d humiliated her in hallways and corridors. For a little while, she just felt.
Still, she swore to herself that the second it was over, the second her body cooled and her wolf stopped thrashing — she’d take back the reins. She’d remind them this wasn’t surrender, this was survival. That she’d only used them the way they’ve always used others.
But then... then came the bite.
She hadn’t expected it. She hadn’t even realized what Grayson was planning until she caught the gleam of fang in the dim light. And the strangest thing — the most infuriating, terrifying thing, is that the moment she saw it, her wolf didn’t flinch. Her wolf leaned in. Her wolf whispered yes.
Argh, that treacherous bastard!
The puncture was fire and lightning, searing through her skin, straight to her marrow. She wanted to scream, but the sound that left her throat was a moan so deep, it embarrassed her. It was pain and pleasure fused. Oh... it was a claim and a caress, something ancient that no denial could unravel.
By the time Morgan followed, because he’s never one to be outdone by his brother, her world had already shifted. His bite was different. It was a sharp echo layered on top of the first, sealing her fate twice over. It should’ve broken her. Instead, it anchored her.
Two bonds. Two Alphas. Two chains wrapped around her ribs, pulling her in opposite directions yet holding her in place. She should hate them more than ever. She should claw their eyes out, spit in their faces, run until her lungs collapsed.
But she doesn’t. She can’t. Because deep down, something inside her is... calm.
The heat is gone, or maybe it’s transformed, burning now instead of raging. Her wolf is curled up in contentment, purring, and nonchalant. And Heidi? She’s furious at herself for letting it happen, for enjoying it, and for being marked like some object.
But under the fury, buried so deep she hopes no one else can see it, is a truth that scares her most of all:
She doesn’t feel alone anymore.
And that terrifies her more than the bite ever could.
She lies there for a long while, pinned under the heat of them both, her chest rising and falling in ragged, uneven bursts. They’re heavy, wet and smelling of salt and musk. Their heartbeats are beating against her ribs. For a few seconds, it feels almost... safe. Almost warm.
She almost lets herself close her eyes. Almost lets herself sink into the haze and pretend this is something normal and chosen.
But then Grayson mutters something about strength, Morgan follows it up with a laugh, and Heidi’s reality comes crashing back like a slap to the face.