Chapter 199: Chapter 199: Uncle Nine’s Troubles
Lin Fengjiao: Sorry to disappoint, but yes — I’m really a guy.
Doujin Artist: Y-You’re joking, right? You’re a guy??
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: With a name that feminine? And you’re a dude?!
[Notice: This is an Actor has uploaded the memory "Mr. Vampire."]
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Pfft—Uncle Nine?! We thought you were a sister, but you’re actually an uncle?
Machete Girl: Not just any uncle. A tsundere uncle!
Curly-haired Guy: Hahaha! Bet you’re all disappointed now, huh? You bunch of clueless girls always jump to conclusions!
Wig Guy: But didn’t you say earlier you were gonna win over the newbie before the guild leader got the chance?
Curly-haired Guy: Shut the hell up, you brain-dead moron!
Doujin Artist: Oho? So you wanted to "win over" the newbie before Anran did? Sounds like you thought the newbie was a beauty too, huh?
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: And you’re calling *us* clueless?
Amegakure Village’s Angel: Turns out Gin-san’s the real clown here.
Curly-haired Guy: Hahaha! Quit making stuff up! What do you mean "win over before the guild leader"? Like I’d say something so traitorous!
Wig Guy: You literally just said earlier the guild leader is a demon.
Curly-haired Guy: Dammit, Kaf—I’m officially announcing, as the manager of Yoshiwara, you don’t have to show up to work anymore. Go crawl back into your rat hole, you idiot!
Pretty Boy from Skull Island: Aww, Gin-san’s throwing a tantrum now, huh?
Soul Society’s Bad Guy: Of course he is.
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Respect on the outside, but grumbling on the inside. Gin-san, you really are a loyal little underling.
Doujin Artist: So loyal. I vote we kick him out of the chat.
Curly-haired Guy: Hey! That’s taking it too far!
Shark-Faced Guy: Kicking him out might be harsh... how about just muting him for ten years?
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: I like that idea, Kisame-san.
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: I support it.
Curly-haired Guy: You traitors! After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me? I’m heartbroken... Gin-san is truly heartbroken!
Doujin Artist: Quit pretending to be pitiful, what the hell are you even doing?!
Renjia Town, in the mortuary.
Lin Jiu watched the group chat with a mix of curiosity and confusion. Sometimes he frowned, sometimes he looked thoughtful. He didn’t understand some of the words they used, but he could still guess the general meaning.
This group chat wasn’t at all like what he had imagined—he thought it would be full of ancient big shots talking about deep stuff. But instead of feeling disappointed, he found it fresh and interesting.
"This must be what a different kind of life experience feels like," Lin Jiu said, leaning back in his chair.
"Master, what kind of life experience are you talking about?" Qiu Sheng, who was sitting nearby, couldn’t see the group chat and just felt like his master was acting a little strange today.
Lin Jiu gave him a quick glance and said calmly, "It’s something a guy like you wouldn’t understand."
"Huh? Master, what does that mean?" asked Wen Cai from the side, full of curiosity.
"It means your brain is so good it’s basically paralyzed," Lin Jiu explained casually, then suddenly changed the topic. "Why are you two here instead of training?"
"Well, um... Mr. Ren sent someone over," Wen Cai stammered.
"He wants me to drink foreign tea with him tomorrow?"
"Eh? Master, how did you know that?"
"I can see the future. Now go train, I need to rest."
Of course, by "rest," Lin Jiu just meant he didn’t want his two dumb disciples interrupting his time in the group chat.
Lin Fengjiao: I’d like to ask everyone—how should I drink coffee to make it seem classy and stylish?
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Uh... classy and stylish? It’s just coffee, does it really need to be that complicated?
Curly-haired Guy: I say drink it upside down. That kind of unique style is already classy enough.
Doujin Artist: What the hell? Drinking upside down? That’s not style, that’s a circus act. Sure, it might look stylish, but you’ve totally lost your brain.
This is an Actor: You’re probably just thinking about how to avoid being looked down on by that Mr. Ren guy, right?
Lin Fengjiao: To be honest, that’s exactly it. I, Lin Jiu, don’t ask for much in life—just to save face.
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: I get it. Uncles really care a lot about their image. My dad’s the same—he brags to everyone about my life in Academy City. According to him, I’m not even a Level 0 anymore, I’m practically a Level 5. (emoji: facepalm)
Shark-Faced Guy: Well, honestly, you’ve achieved way more than any Level 5 by now.
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: That’s all thanks to meeting Anran-san and everyone here.
Doujin Artist: Be real, you just mean Anran-san. Everyone else is just extras, huh? I see through you, you middle schooler who puts romance before friends!
Amegakure Village’s Angel: Enough messing around—let’s all think of a way to help Uncle Nine keep his dignity.
Lin Fengjiao: No need to call me Uncle Nine. Just call me Lin Jiu. I’m the new guy here, you all are the seniors.
Machete Girl: Still, being polite is important. If you want to keep your dignity, maybe try wearing a suit to the invitation?
Wig Guy: That’s a bit much. That Ren guy is just a landlord, no need to treat him like someone important.
Doujin Artist: Speaking of landlords reminds me of those ones in the Naruto world. Those jerks really treated people like livestock.
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Landlords are basically a class built on exploitation and oppression. They’re the ones we should be getting rid of.
Curly-haired Guy: So... why not just get rid of him?
Lin Fengjiao: ...
Lin Jiu was dumbfounded. He was just going to drink some foreign tea—what’s with this whole "get rid of the inviter" thing?
This is an Actor: Getting rid of oppressors doesn’t mean physically taking them out. Social change doesn’t happen overnight either. And Lin Jiu hasn’t even accepted our ideals or goals yet. You’re just making things messier.
Amegakure Village’s Angel: Talking without thinking is basically Gin’s trademark now.
Curly-haired Guy: Take it off! Get this stupid default thing off my head! I, Sakata Gintoki, don’t need some pathetic standard setting like that!
This is an Actor: Lin Jiu’s real issue is just that he wants Ren Fa to see him differently. No need to overthink it. Just say something simple. Like when ordering, just ask the waiter for a cold Coke. Problem solved.
Doujin Artist: Damn, Coke works?! But wait—did they even have that back then?
Amegakure Village’s Angel: Eriri -chan still doesn’t get it. It doesn’t matter if they had it or not—what matters is keeping your cool. In fact, not having it makes Uncle Nine look even more worldly and experienced.
Curly-haired Guy: Damn, I get it now! If you wanna show you have good taste, just ask for something nobody else understands! That’s what style is?!
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: No wonder guys in modern society like to wear girls’ clothes.
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Nah. I don’t think crossdressing has anything to do with taste. They just genuinely enjoy it. Like Mr. Wig here.
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