I hesitated, searching for the right words in my mind, when she suddenly asked, "Do you like Xing Can?"
How could I? The person I liked was standing right in front of me.
But as the words were about to leave my lips, a great sense of dread and unease washed over me, and I dared not say anything.
I pursed my lips and finally said indirectly, "He's very good to me, a suitable marriage prospect."
I thought I had made myself clear, but that fool simply didn't understand.
She nodded blankly, took out a gift box, and handed it to me. She opened her mouth, then looked at me intently and said, "I wish you happiness!"
And then, she left... she left!
She really is a fool. Doesn't she understand what I'm trying to say?
I was furious. When I returned to my room, I opened the gift box. Inside, a pink diamond lay prominently.
I wondered if her giving me this meant she had other feelings for me, or if it was just a gift for a friend, or perhaps a relative's wedding.
I didn't know. The wedding proceeded as planned, but she never came.
I lost my gamble!
Yet, it was also within expectations. In my heart, I was willing to marry Xing Can, partly because it would bring me closer to Xing Yuan, and partly because they looked so alike, I could use his likeness to remember her.
With the prenuptial agreement in place, Xing Can was very respectful, and my life didn't change much from before the marriage.
A few days later, Xing Yuan asked me to attend a banquet, using the cliché excuse of helping me build connections.
Despite the flimsy excuse, I eagerly rushed to meet her.
At the banquet, for some reason, she kept urging me to drink. Looking into her clear eyes, I couldn't bring myself to refuse. Perhaps it was the alcohol, but in my daze, I thought she was kissing me. Or perhaps it was just an illusion.
When I woke up in my room the next day, my head was pounding. I managed to drink some water to clear my head and saw a farewell text from her on my phone.
She said the company was undergoing a transformation and she was very busy, so she had gone abroad. She told me to message her if anything came up.
I sat on the bed, my expression vacant. A hint of disappointment unconsciously appeared in my eyes. So, even becoming family wouldn't bring us closer.
Life continued as usual until... Xing Can met the person he loved.
It didn't matter. I didn't like him anyway, so it was a good opportunity to divorce.
However, what happened next was completely beyond my expectations.
Xing Can refused to divorce me. But his actions weren't discreet enough, and his affair with Gu Wan was photographed by reporters.
What was laughable was that Xing Can, in order to protect her, didn't hesitate to throw all the blame onto me.
With red eyes, he told the media: "It was I who forced him to marry me using our family's influence, which is why he was separated from Gu Wan, the one he truly loved."
How ridiculous! He knew perfectly well who I loved.
Only her, and no one else.
Well, he didn't care, and neither did I.
For her sake, I didn't bother to argue. I simply and decisively produced the divorce agreement for him to sign, but he still refused.
Heh! Did he think he could have his cake and eat it too?
I was infuriated by his shamelessness. I slammed the divorce agreement onto the table and said coldly, "Either sign it, or we'll meet in court. You decide."
I moved out.
Strictly speaking, her family treated me quite well. They just felt that with my current status, I shouldn't be appearing in public. I had also lost a portion of my fans after my marriage was announced, so I agreed.
However, if they thought I would just give in, they were sorely mistaken. I always had my own confidence.
But I still underestimated their shamelessness. The rumors online escalated. Instead of stopping them, they deliberately fanned the flames, trying to make the situation even bigger.
This fire even reached my family. I could no longer stand by and do nothing.
I issued a statement and uploaded all the evidence I had collected. But someone deliberately suppressed the heat of this statement and even directly banned my account.
Without even thinking, I knew who was behind this. There was no other way, so I had to seek help from my elders. I decided to hold a press conference to prove my innocence.
The press conference went smoothly, but only a few rational fans appeared online. Most people still preferred to speculate with the utmost malice about a once glamorous artist.
There were still people who, through the internet, posted all sorts of indecent remarks under my account.
I didn't want to see them, so I simply removed my SIM card and got a new one.
But I still underestimated the madness of those people. The most laughable thing was that some of my fanatical fans even found my residence through subtle clues. They sent all sorts of indecent items and photos, splashed paint at my door, and even followed me.
Even with my strength, I am still a girl. I called the police, but it was of little use.
I moved to many different places, but they could still find me.
I suffered from insomnia every night, my mental stress grew, and my hair fell out in increasing amounts. I saw a doctor, but he only prescribed me some medication and advised me to relax more.
After thinking for a long time, I opened the chat interface with her and sent a message: "Are you there?"
I was too tired. I wanted to hear her voice again. Perhaps it would give me the courage to keep going.
But she seemed too busy, and there was no response for a long time.
Xing Can asked to meet me again to talk. I didn't want to, and I refused him many times. But this time, after much thought, I invited him to my place.
I didn't dare to go out anymore. Even the sunlight I once longed for now felt repulsive.
Xing Can arrived. He showed no remorse, only smiled mockingly at me and asked, "Do you know why my sister rushed abroad?"
I instinctively avoided the question, a vague sense of unease growing in my heart. I covered my ears and pleaded, "Don't say it!"
I couldn't bear any more bad news.
But Xing Can spoke cruelly, each word like a sharp little knife, carving into my already wounded heart.
"Because she found you disgusting! I found the video from that day for you. Actually, it's not entirely your sister's fault. You were really... after getting drunk, any woman who was kissed by you like that would find you disgusting."
Xing Can left. I remained frozen in place, stunned. She, found me disgusting? Just like those countless people who didn't understand me.
Hesitantly, I saw the knife on the table.
I made up my mind. As I lay in the bathtub waiting to die, I sincerely felt: perhaps, in the next life, I could love her cleanly.