Xing Yuan wished she could grow old with Meng Fanyue, but she couldn't.
Her current body, though appearing mortal, contained the very essence of this world within its strength.
In other words, for her to experience aging and death, this world would have to suffer a catastrophic blow.
At first, she could hide it, but as time passed and Meng Fanyue's temples began to show streaks of white hair while Xing Yuan remained youthful, the overlooked issue suddenly surfaced in her mind.
"You... you don't age, do you?"
Compared to her past naivete, driven solely by passion, Meng Fanyue now possessed the rationality to contemplate their relationship more deeply.
Xing Yuan didn't want to lie to her, so she quietly nodded, "Mm."
"My constitution is special. I'll age instantly when I die," Xing Yuan explained.
It was the truth, though her day of death might never come.
Meng Fanyue's eyes dimmed slightly, and a cheerful smile bloomed on her face. "Then I've hit the jackpot! Sister has always been so beautiful. But what can I do? I've gotten old."
As she spoke, tears trickled from her bright eyes.
She didn't want to cry, at least not in front of the one she loved, but what could she do? She couldn't control herself.
Xing Yuan squeezed her hand tightly and cooed in a tone meant for a child, "Yes! Yueyue has truly hit the jackpot! Aren't you going to treat me well?"
Meng Fanyue let out a chuckle, her smile as radiant as the stars.
"Then I shall gratefully accept!" Between digging for the truth and playing dumb, she chose the latter.
She wasn't unintelligent. Xing Yuan had never intended to hide anything from her, so how could she not notice the changes in Xing Yuan? She simply dared not to.
Although Meng Fanyue acted as if she didn't care, Xing Yuan couldn't truly do nothing.
She went to a shop and hired someone to help her dye her hair, using a colorant she had developed herself that wouldn't fade.
Each year that passed, she would dye a portion of her black hair white and draw a wrinkle on her face.
Even though Meng Fanyue would always pretend to dislike it and ask her to dye it back.
But Xing Yuan knew, deep down, she was pleased.
From the moment strangers mistook them for grandmother and granddaughter, and she saw the fleeting sadness in Meng Fanyue's eyes, Xing Yuan knew how much it mattered to her.
"It's snowing!"
Since she had grown old, Meng Fanyue had become less mobile. Her favorite pastime was leaning in Xing Yuan's arms and listening to her read.
Xing Yuan had just finished reciting a poem from the Book of Songs when she heard her say this.
The snowflakes fell heavily and rapidly, hitting the windowpanes with a pattering sound.
"Yes, it's snowing."
"Next year will be a bountiful harvest. Everything will be over," Xing Yuan murmured softly, gazing out the window.
"I'm sleepy," Meng Fanyue tugged at Xing Yuan's sleeve. "I want to sleep for a while. Don't wake me."
"Mhm. Sleep well!"
When she woke up, it would all be over.
—
Xing Yuan looked at the nearly complete soul fragments in her hand and suddenly hesitated.
If she wished, she could bring back the person she had longed for over the years. Yet, at this moment, she found herself retreating.
Xing Yuan thought she was truly a coward.
From the moment she had ruthlessly cast aside her emotions and erased that person completely, she knew she was a coward.
Yet, this very self had become the ultimate victor, the emotionless, desireless deity seated on the divine throne?
The world proclaimed her a born goddess, the master of order, but only she knew it wasn't true.
There had once been many gods in this world, but they had perished during the divine war. She had orchestrated it all, even erasing their existence, thus becoming the sole deity in the eyes of the world.
But she was, in fact, merely a spirit that should have died long ago!
Compared to those gods, she was weak, for she was born from a small world.
It was a world devoid of spiritual energy. It should have dissipated shortly after its birth, returning its power to nourish this world. However, after drifting out of its birth valley, it was accidentally absorbed into the body of an infant who had just breathed their last.
Newly born, she was like any other infant, experiencing hunger and thirst.
She had intended to wait until the child's life force extinguished, leave its body, and continue to drift in this world until she disappeared.
However, a woman riding a horse arrived in haste, picked up the child, saved her, and brought her back to a village.
She was dazed and confused. Her already scarce memories, along with the woman's teachings, were completely erased, leaving her with only the name the woman gave her—Su Shang.
This was her first time living as a human, and her first encounter with her, marking the beginning of their fate.
The news of Gong Ningsi bringing back a child drew the attention of the villagers.
Gong Ningsi saw no need to explain to those unrelated people, simply stating, "Seeing the child's pitiable state, I indulged."
Gong Ningsi didn't want to speak, and the villagers dared not ask.
The village's chief was her father, and they merely earned their living under the chief's command. There was no need to offend the young lady.
Gong Ming, upon returning from a delivery, heard about his daughter's matter and rushed over immediately.
Gong Ming was burly, with several scars on his face from past struggles for the chieftainship, giving him a fierce appearance.
The tiny Su Shang, upon seeing him, burst into tears, successfully halting Gong Ming in his tracks.
He furrowed his brow and spoke gently, "My dear daughter, why the sudden urge to play with a baby?"
Gong Ningsi wiped away a tear from her eye and looked at the infant in her arms, her gaze filled with determination. "Father, Su Lang is dead. She is Su Lang's child."
Gong Ming paused. He was aware of the convoluted history between his daughter and Su Yu, but it was a one-sided affection.
His daughter had become infatuated, insisting on marrying him and pestering him daily. Now that he was dead, she had even brought back his child.
Gong Ming felt a terrible headache coming on, but he dared not provoke his emotional daughter. He could only say softly, "Then what do you intend to do?"
"I want to raise her. When she grows up, I want her to personally avenge Su Lang," Gong Ningsi declared with unwavering resolve.
Gong Ningsi sighed mournfully, "Alas, I never became Su Lang's. Otherwise, I could have avenged him myself. If we couldn't share a room in life, we should share a tomb in death. How can I let that woman have her way?"
Gong Ningsi's expression was one of fierce indignation, wishing to grind that woman to dust. She had even given birth to Su Lang's son.
But it was fine. From now on, this child would be hers. No! She was her child, a child carrying the blood of her and Su Lang.
Gong Ming watched his daughter's reaction, his heart filled with trepidation, but he dared not say anything to provoke her further.
Children were a burden, a debt to be repaid.
Su Shang's existence was thus settled.