Chapter 99: Doomed... and Okay With It
Finally, things were back to the way they were.
...Well. Kinda.
Celestia looked lighter now, happier. Like she’d been carrying a weight around and finally set it down. She and Marina had slipped back into something close to normal. Not exactly the same, but close enough. Yesterday they even ended up doing their usual "girl talk," dragging Duchess into it like she was their unwilling third bestie. The cat sat there looking like she’d rather throw herself in traffic, but that didn’t stop them.
That was yesterday.
Now it was Wednesday, and here I was — stuck at a cafeteria table, across from them, watching the two most dangerous people in my life yap away like nothing ever happened.
And of course, I wasn’t invited into the conversation. No. I was just the audience. The prop. The witness to whatever chaos they were scheming.
Celestia leaned closer to Marina, her voice dripping with energy. "Can you believe Avery is still trying to be friends?"
Marina rolled her eyes, stabbing at her salad with the kind of force that said she was over it. "That’s never gonna work out. You hate her guts."
Celestia sat back with a little smirk, flipping her hair like a brat. "I know, right?"
I knew that tone. That was the "I hate her, and if she was on fire, I’d toast marshmallows over her flames" tone.
Marina smirked back. "You two would probably kill each other before it ever happens."
"Probably," Celestia agreed, almost too cheerfully. "But at least I’d win."
Marina’s brow arched, her sarcasm locked and loaded. "Right. Because homicide automatically counts as winning."
Celestia tilted her head, pretending to think about it. "Uh, yeah. Survival of the fittest, Marina. Read a book."
Marina let out a sharp laugh, shaking her head. "God, you’re insufferable."
"Thank you," Celestia said sweetly, reaching for her drink like she hadn’t just declared war crimes as a personality trait.
I sat there, chewing my sandwich, pretending I wasn’t listening even though it was impossible not to. Their voices carried. Their laughter carried more. People around us glanced every now and then, but honestly? I think they were used to it by now.
It felt... weird. Nice, but weird. Seeing them like this again after weeks of silent treatment and awkward tension. It was almost like nothing had happened. Almost.
Marina shifted suddenly, eyes narrowing playfully. "Guess what?"
Celestia perked up immediately. "What?"
"My birthday’s next month," Marina said, casual but not really. She clearly wanted a reaction.
She got one.
"No way!" Celestia gasped, leaning forward like someone had just handed her the world’s best gossip. "Mine too!"
I froze. Fork halfway to my mouth. Birthday?
My brain kicked into panic mode instantly.
Oh no. Oh no no no no no.
I don’t do birthdays. Not mine. Not anyone’s. Not parties, not cakes, not the fake smiles, not the loud people. I’m a library rat. A nerd. I smuggle snacks and hide from human interaction. Birthdays? They’re social nightmares.
Celestia’s eyes were sparkling like she’d just uncovered a national conspiracy. "What date?"
"Twenty-seventh," Marina said proudly, grinning now.
Celestia gasped so dramatically people two tables over turned to look. "Shut. Up. Mine’s the twenty-third!"
I blinked. Twenty-third. That date slammed into my brain like a truck. I had literally just learned this less than three days ago. And now here it was again, haunting me.
"No way," Marina said, her voice pitching up as if someone had just told her Santa was real. "That’s just four days apart!"
"I know!" Celestia clapped her hands, looking like she might actually combust from excitement. Then she added, "We should totally do it together."
I nearly choked on my sandwich.
Together?
Marina’s grin widened, cautious but hopeful. "You’re serious?"
"Duh." Celestia gave her that bratty smirk, the one that said she already had a hundred ideas forming in her head. "Why wouldn’t I be? Imagine it — one massive birthday bash. Twice the presents. Twice the cake. Twice the people telling us how perfect we are."
Marina laughed, soft and a little disbelieving. "You’re ridiculous."
Celestia leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms with a grin. "Please. You’d be bored without me."
Marina hesitated, then smiled. "Yeah. Maybe I would."
And that was it. That was the moment the universe officially decided I was doomed.
Because both of them turned their heads at the same time. Right at me.
Not saying anything. Not a single word.
Just looking.
The kind of look that said, Well? What are you gonna do about it, Kai?
My stomach dropped. My palms went sweaty.
I already knew.
I Knew I was screwed.
One Valentina was already enough to give me migraines. But Valentina and Marina? Teaming up?
Yeah. I was doomed.
---
Marina tilted her head, eyes sliding from Val back to me. "Well?"
Her tone was light, but there was weight under it. Like she already knew the answer and just wanted to watch me squirm saying it out loud.
I stayed quiet. Maybe too quiet.
Val turned toward me, one brow raised, her grin sharp enough to cut glass. "We’re waiting, husband."
There it was. The death sentence. She didn’t even need to raise her voice. Just that one word—husband—loaded like a bullet.
My mouth opened, but no words came out. I scratched the back of my neck, stalling. "Uh... I mean... birthdays are important, sure, but..."
"But?" Marina prompted, leaning forward on her elbows like she was about to take notes.
I blinked. Twice. "But maybe you two should just... I don’t know... keep it simple. Like... cake. And candles. That’s it. Nothing too big."
Val gasped like I’d just suggested burning down the library. "Cake and candles? That’s your big idea? You can’t just ’cake and candles’ two birthdays that close together."
"Why not?" I tried, weak.
"Because," she said, dragging the word out like it explained everything. "This is a double birthday. That’s a once-in-a-lifetime event."
Marina nodded, deadly serious. "Exactly. If we don’t celebrate it properly, the universe might collapse."
I stared at her. "That’s not how birthdays work."
"Are you willing to risk it?" Marina shot back without missing a beat.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I’m saying... we don’t need anything crazy. Just... quiet. Small. Maybe even private."
Val’s grin spread slow, dangerous. "Oh, so you’re saying you want a private birthday party for the two of us? How bold."
I choked. "That’s not—Val—no. That’s not what I meant."
Marina smirked into her hand. "I think that’s exactly what he meant."
I groaned, dragging my palm down my face. "You two are impossible."
Val leaned closer, voice sugar and smug. "And yet... you love me."
I sighed. "Remind me why I put up with either of you again?"
Marina gasped dramatically, clutching her chest. "Rude."
Val snorted. "He’s just scared because it’s two against one. He knows he’s doomed."
They shared a look. The kind of silent, telepathic girl look that always made me uneasy. Then, just like that, they turned back to each other and launched into rapid-fire chatter, like I wasn’t even in the room anymore.
Val tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Okay, so theme first. We need a theme."
"Obviously," Marina agreed. "But nothing too childish."
> "Right. No balloons shaped like animals."
} "Or confetti. Confetti is a nightmare to clean."
> "Facts."
I cleared my throat. "Guys—"
"Colors," Val cut me off, eyes lighting up. "We need matching colors. Like black and gold."
Marina wrinkled her nose. "Too formal. What about blue and silver? That works for both of us."
"Ooooh." Val grinned, snapping her fingers. "Yes. That. Perfect."
I tried again. "Val, Marina—"
"Food," Marina steamrolled right over me. "We need good food. And no, Kai, we’re not ordering cheap pizza. Don’t even think about it."
Val nodded solemnly. "Agreed. Sushi, maybe. Or pasta. Or both."
"Both," Marina confirmed.
I sat back in my chair, watching them go back and forth like a tennis match. My voice was gone. My arguments had been confiscated.
Val glanced at me just long enough to smirk before turning back to Marina. "Entertainment. We need music."
Marina tilted her head. "Live band?"
> "Too much. DJ?"
} "Maybe."
I groaned under my breath. "You’re not seriously planning a party."
Two pairs of eyes whipped toward me, identical looks of mock offense plastered on their faces.
Val gasped. "A party? Excuse you. This is a celebration."
Marina nodded firmly. "Exactly. Big difference."
"Big difference," Val echoed.
I stared at them, deadpan. "There’s no difference."
Val leaned her chin on her palm, eyes sparkling. "That’s because you’d panic the second things get fun."
Marina snorted into her hand, and Val joined her in laughter a second later.
I sat there, helpless, watching as they dissolved into giggles at my expense.
When the laughter faded, Marina wiped at her eyes, still smiling. "You know, I almost feel bad for him."
Val smirked, sly. "Don’t. He needs to learn."
"Learn what?" I asked flatly.
Val turned back to me, her voice dripping smug. "That when two girls team up, resistance is useless."
Marina pointed at me with her fork. "She’s right. You’re doomed."
I let out a long breath, leaning back in my chair. Doomed didn’t even begin to cover it.
Val and Marina went back to their brainstorming, tossing ideas back and forth like they’d been doing it for years. I watched them—watched the way Val’s grin stretched wider every time Marina agreed with her, the way Marina’s eyes softened in a way I hadn’t seen in weeks.
And just like that, I knew.
I was screwed. Completely, utterly, 100% screwed.
And as I sat there, quietly, watching the two of them talk like nothing had ever broken between them... I realized it didn’t even matter if I was doomed.
What mattered was seeing them like this again—laughing, smiling, acting like friends instead of strangers. Especially Val. She deserved that light in her eyes, even if it came at my expense.
And maybe... being doomed didn’t feel so bad when it looked like this.
---
To be continued...