Chapter 1 Body and Mind Exhausted

Leading Gun back home, Hao Ren felt utterly drained, both physically and mentally. He hadn't expected the cat to be so troublesome after transforming into a human. Those cute, sensible catgirls from novels were all a lie! How could someone with both cat logic and human mobility be easy to deal with? A newly awakened catgirl simply had the wrong worldview!

All the way back, Hao Ren couldn't remember how many times he'd repeated, "Don't squat by other people's feet... don't eat things off the street... stop rummaging through the trash... don't climb the wall, get down from the tree! Let go of that bird! Stay away from the dog... don't touch the garbage heap... stand up and walk!"

He felt like he was raising a child, and this child was even harder to handle than Dou Dou.

The cat-girl jumped down from the wall for the third time, looking as dirty as if she'd just returned from a Middle Eastern war zone. She bared her fangs at Hao Ren: "Litter-box cleaner, you're so annoying."

Hao Ren had given up on correcting her term for him, and just wearily reminded her, "You've turned into a human, okay? You have to change your lifestyle... understand? Lifestyle, habits, you should be able to understand what I'm saying, right?"

"Not food, but I understand," the cat-girl said, shaking her head. "But why are there so many things unrelated to eating in human language?"

Hao Ren glared: "Why do you care so much about the reasons? Just do as I say!"

The cat-girl purred in her throat: "So troublesome, being a big cat is so troublesome. Change me back quickly."

Hao Ren rolled his eyes and simply didn't answer: he wanted to, but transforming wasn't like rewinding a video!

When the three of them got home, they found only Vivian and Lily guarding the place. Nangong Wuyue must have run off to sing in front of some subway station, store, or plaza again, while the Bearded Man was probably out challenging nature in the wilderness, or perhaps being dragged into lecturing by the middle-aged women in the southern suburbs. Izhaks and his daughter were likely out collecting recyclables again. The former Demon Lord of another world had fallen into unemployment on Earth, and ended up collecting scraps in the southern suburbs with the Demon Princess. It was a tearful tale, but little Elizabeth actually seemed to enjoy it.

Lily had been lying on the table, writing, but came over when she heard the noise. "Landlord, you're back? Did you find out what was going on?"

Vivian also came over, curiously looking at Hao Ren and Gun, who was lying next to the sofa.

"It was caused by a golden apple," Hao Ren sighed, briefly explaining what he had learned from Raven 12345, and then solemnly warned, "If any of you still have any golden apples left, don't feed them to random little animals, this thing is too troublesome."

Lily yelped. She wasn't worried; this glutton had already eaten her apple. Then she circled the cat-girl, sniffing her, muttering, "Smells like the shopping street... and grilled fish. Did you take her to the street? Did she run around?"

Hao Ren's lips twitched: "Could she not run around? Honestly, walking her is more troublesome than walking you."

Lily's face lit up at this. She actually took it as a compliment and leaned in, grinning: "When are you going to walk me again? I haven't been to the city to buy things for days!"

Hao Ren: "...Can't you have some ambition?"

Gun lay on the ground for a while, then looked up lazily at Lily: "Dumb big dog, I want to eat! The grilled fish wasn't enough!"

Lily oh-ed and turned to prepare food for the cat-girl. Hao Ren was surprised at this: "Hey, aren't you afraid of her anymore?"

Lily scratched her hair: "I'm not afraid, but mixing food for her has become a habit."

Hao Ren was a little dumbfounded. He really hadn't expected this husky to be so pathetic. He thought she had finally turned the tables and escaped the dog←cat←fish food chain, but it turned out she was stuck in it!

At this time, Gun untangled her tail from her clothes, stretched comfortably, then crawled onto the sofa in a wiggling fashion, expertly turned on the TV, and started watching the pet channel, shouting, "Litter-box cleaner! I want this toy! And this canned food! This cushion is also pretty... get me a new cat bed~~ I want a smaller one... get me dried small fish!"

Anyway, no matter what she shouted, the cat-girl was never idle for even a moment. This was also a major characteristic of Gun: compared to other quiet meows, she was practically a hyperactive patient. Even when she was still a cat, she was always either running around outside or messing around in the house, never quiet. But when she was messing around back then, it wasn't as annoying: no one could understand what she was saying!

Now, the cat-girl sat on the sofa, spouting human words. Hao Ren finally realized how annoying it could be when a cat could speak.

But Hao Ren thought it over: he could completely ignore the cat's chattering, just like before when he couldn't understand what she was saying. Anyway, no one paid attention to Gun when she was running around the house back then, and she was quite content. Now that no one was paying attention, she should be able to get used to it.

Vivian looked at the cat-girl watching TV on the sofa and suddenly remembered something: "By the way, have you decided on a new name yet?"

Hao Ren was confused: "New name?"

Vivian gestured towards the sofa: "For the cat. Are you still going to call her 'Gun'? Can you say that name out loud?"

Hao Ren was stunned, and then he realized that today's Gun was not the Gun of the past, and that this cat should have a more normal name!

Otherwise, continuing to use the old name when taking this girl out would easily cause trouble. The old men and women in the southern suburbs might be slow to react in other situations, but when they saw Hao Ren "walking Gun," they would definitely rush to call and complain about his domestic abuse!

Thinking of this, he reached out and patted the cat-girl's head: "Stop watching, I want to discuss something with you."

He was probably the first owner in history to discuss naming a cat with the cat.

The cat-girl turned her head, her pointed ears twitching: "What's up, litter-box cleaner?"

"...Call me whatever you want," Hao Ren sighed. "I wanted to say that it's time to change your name."

"Name?" The cat-girl blinked. "Why change my name?"

"You can't use this name anymore," Hao Ren tried to make the cat understand some things about the human world. "Humans can't be named 'Gun'. If I call you that on the street in the future, people will complain, you know?"

The cat-girl was quite honest: "I don't know."

Hao Ren could tell that although this thing was annoying in many ways, she had one advantage: she was absolutely honest—a newly awakened demon, as pure as a blank sheet of paper!

So his and Vivian's main task then was to make this cat understand why "Gun" was not a normal name. Hao Ren even tried to explain that when he first named her "Gun," it was completely a misunderstanding, an accidental collision between a cat's worldview and human language. But while the two of them were explaining enthusiastically, the cat didn't listen at all: she just shook her head, pretending to be well-behaved, but after listening to a few sentences, she lazily curled up on the sofa.

As lazy, stubborn, and disobedient as before.

Lily brought over the cat food and saw Hao Ren and Vivian sitting next to her with defeated expressions. She was a little curious: "What's wrong?"

"It's so hard to change the cat's name," Hao Ren sighed. "Other people's cats and dogs change names so easily."

Vivian didn't know whether to laugh or cry: "Nonsense, other people don't have to discuss it with their cats and dogs when they change their names, and who normally changes their cat's or dog's name?"

It seemed that Nangong Sanba was right on the road. Even though the cat-girl had now gained intelligence, the problem of worldview and knowledge could not be solved. In a cat's language system, there was no distinction between positive and negative words. Even if she knew what "Gun" meant, she wouldn't feel that there was anything wrong with using the word on herself—just as she didn't think there was anything wrong with calling her owner a litter-box cleaner.

Hao Ren decided not to discuss it with the cat, and finalize the name first. And this time he quickly came up with a bunch of new names: Hao Miaomiao, Hao Maomao, Hao Miaomao, Hao Maomiao—anyway, with his naming ability, it was basically like this, a string of names that sounded like tongue twisters.

After he wrote all the names on the paper, he proudly showed off to Vivian, who poured cold water on him: "There are a lot of names, but do you think she'll listen to you?"

"Why not, let's try." Hao Ren chuckled, then held the piece of paper and called out each name behind the cat-girl, from the first to the last... no response.

Hao Ren was dumbfounded, and finally could only return to the origin: "Gun!"

The cat-girl jumped off the sofa at once, rubbing against Hao Ren's trouser legs.

Vivian patted Hao Ren's arm: "I think... let's just call her 'Gun', anyway, we won't let her go out casually in the near future."