Chapter 295: My Kael
ARIA
The city outside the window blurred a little, maybe because of the alcohol, maybe because my eyes were burning for no damn reason. The car felt too warm, too tight, and my chest had been tight since the second I told Ash I wanted to see him.
I didn’t know if I was doing something brave or something stupid.
Probably both.
But grief made people impulsive.
It made me impulsive.
And I didn’t want to be inside myself anymore, all that quiet grief festering, all the guilt and questions and unspoken things screaming inside me. I just wanted to see him. To breathe near him. Even if I didn’t know what I’d say.
Even if I was terrified he wouldn’t want to hear it.
I spotted the neon sign first, the one Ash said glowed like bad decisions and broken promises. . It buzzed with colors in the dark like a siren calling me closer. My heart started to pound, blood rushing to my ears like I was stepping on stage or walking into a war zone.
But then...
Then I saw him.
And her.
Outside.
Kael’s tall frame, sharp and broad-shouldered, was lit by the harsh bar light, and right in front of him...
Some girl.
Young. Small. Beautiful in that soft, wounded way I hated myself for noticing.
And he was holding her face.
My stomach dropped.
But I couldn’t look away.
I told the driver to stop... my voice barely made it out... and the car eased to a quiet halt on the opposite side of the street. I opened the door, heart pounding like I’d made a mistake just by wanting to see him.
Maybe it was the alcohol.
Maybe it was me trying to distract myself from the grief I kept burying deeper and deeper.
Maybe I just wanted to say I love you and feel something honest for once.
But the moment I stepped out of that car...
The moment the cool night air kissed my face...
Everything changed.
I couldn’t survive watching it.
Because it wasn’t just a look.
It wasn’t just a touch.
It was a kiss.
Her lips on his.
Right there in front of me.
Right there, where I used to be.
I didn’t even realize I had gotten out of the car.
Didn’t realize I had stepped into this nightmare with both feet.
Until I saw it.
Until my stomach sank and my world tilted.
Kael’s hands on her face.
His mouth meeting hers.
A moment too soft to be meaningless.
And I froze.
I froze.
Right there by the car, like someone had drained all the blood out of me.
It was her.
The girl Sarah told me about.
The one who looked too close to him.
Too familiar.
And Kael...
Maybe it was my imagination or the alcohol or both...
God I really hoped so...
Kael didn’t even flinch.
His head stayed close like the kiss wasn’t a surprise.
Like it was just... natural.
Something inside me broke.
Everything came crashing down all at once.
Sarah’s words.
My doubts.
My stupid, stubborn silence.
The space I carved between us when I walked away from him and never looked back.
It all hit me.
Like a fucking freight train.
Like I was the punchline to some cruel joke.
My chest twisted with something between heartbreak and nausea.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t think.
I was going to be sick.
I stumbled backward a step, like I could physically retreat from what I just saw.
But the image was burned into me.
His lips on someone else’s.
His hands holding her like she mattered.
Like I didn’t anymore.
God, why did it hurt so fucking bad?
Why did it feel like someone reached into my chest and ripped something out?
Jealousy.
Regret.
Rage at myself for letting him go.
Rage at the universe for making this moment real.
I wanted to scream.
Run across the street and tear her away from him and shout he was mine first.
I wanted to demand answers I had no right to.
I wanted to cry until the earth cracked open and swallowed me whole.
But my body wouldn’t listen.
My feet refused to move.
My voice was lost somewhere between my throat and my heart.
So I did the only thing I could do.
I ran.
Turned back to the car like I was escaping a burning building.
Fumbled for the handle with trembling fingers and dropped into the seat like I could hide from what I saw.
"Take me back," I choked out, voice breaking.
"Please. Just... take me back."
The driver didn’t ask.
Didn’t speak.
Just pulled away from the curb.
And I...
I watched Kael fade in the rearview mirror.
Watched him kiss someone else.
Watched the moment that would haunt me for the rest of my fucking life.
(On the way back...)
I couldn’t stop shaking.
The scene kept looping behind my eyes.
Her face.
His hands.
Their lips colliding like something practiced.
Something mutual.
Kael.
My Kael.
The man who once kissed me like I was the only thing keeping him alive.
The man who told me I ruined him in the most beautiful way.
The person I wanted to run back to tonight, to confess everything, to fall into again like no time had passed...
He was gone.
He belonged to someone else now.
And maybe...
Maybe that was exactly what I deserved.
I pressed my forehead against the cool glass, hoping it would ground me, stop the burning panic clawing up my chest.
But nothing helped.
Not the silence.
Not the night.
Not even the fact that I’d brought this on myself.
I pushed him away.
I made the silence grow.
I let him fall out of my hands because I was too scared to admit how much I needed him.
And now?
Now someone else got to hold his face.
Someone else got to kiss him.
Someone else got the pieces of Kael I had shattered but never stopped loving.
By the time the car stopped, my hands were shaking so hard I could barely grab the handle.
My legs didn’t feel like mine.
I stumbled out, moving on instinct, like maybe if I could just get to the rooftop, there’d be air there.
Something that wasn’t so heavy.
Something I could actually breathe.
But when I got there... it wasn’t air waiting for me.
It was cold.
Empty.
Like me.
The kiss kept flashing behind my eyes ... Kael’s hands on her face, his mouth against hers, the way his body leaned in like it belonged there. Like I wasn’t even a thought.
It made my chest burn, my stomach twist.
I staggered forward and my fingers closed around the neck of a half-empty whiskey bottle someone had left behind. I didn’t think. I just grabbed it. Tipped it back.
It scorched all the way down, but I didn’t stop.
I needed something to burn worse than my chest did.
"Aria... what the fuck are you doing?"
The voice cut through the haze ... sharp, familiar. Sylas.