Chapter 288: booze
ARIA
By the time the motorcycle rolled to a stop, I was already regretting saying yes.
The place looked... expensive. That kind of expensive that didn’t even bother to brag about it. Clean-cut architecture. Subtle lights. Doormen with Bluetooth earpieces and expressions carved from stone.
Sylas helped me off like we were stepping onto a red carpet and not just onto the pavement. He took my hand without asking... like it was muscle memory... and guided me through the entrance like I might run off and get lost.
I glanced down at my outfit. Jacket. Sweatpants. Sneakers that had probably seen better years. I didn’t belong here, but I didn’t really care either. I wasn’t here to fit in.
I was here for the booze.
And maybe to not feel like I was unraveling for a little while.
Still... as we passed under the golden lights of the lobby and into a private elevator, something like guilt started to curl in my stomach.
Sarah.
She told me to go, told me to have fun, but her words still echoed in my head from earlier. How we weren’t as close anymore. How she felt left behind. I wanted to tell her she was wrong. That she meant more to me than she realized. But instead, I’d come here. To drink. To breathe. To forget.
The rooftop opened up like something out of a dream... glass railings, soft sounds under city noise, and little groups of people too pretty and too rich to care about either.
And then I saw her.
Ash. Leaning against a lounge chair with a drink in hand, laughing at something a girl next to her said. They looked... cozy, close enough that I felt like I was interrupting.
Ash’s eyes landed on me. Her expression flickered. Surprise. Maybe even mild disbelief.
I crossed my arms. "Why do you look like you’ve just seen a ghost?"
She blinked. "Because I kind of have."
I turned to Sylas, who was now casually pretending to check out the skyline. I gave him the slowest, most unimpressed really? Look I could manage.
He shrugged like a guilty schoolboy caught mid-prank and gave me a tiny smile. "Guilty. Want a drink?"
I sighed. "Make it strong."
He gave me a wink and disappeared into the bar.
I turned back to Ash. "Didn’t mean to crash your date."
Ash waved it off. "She’s just a friend. Chill."
I nodded, but my mind was already floating somewhere else. Somewhere heavy.
Somewhere lonely.
The air up here tasted cleaner, like the city hadn’t touched it yet.
From the rooftop, everything below looked like a painting I wasn’t part of anymore. People moved like brushstrokes, soft and blurred beneath the night sky. I leaned on the railing and let my eyes roam, catching the glimmer of lights dancing off buildings, the slow crawl of traffic down below, and the occasional gust of wind that carried the scent of alcohol and rain-washed pavement.
"It’s beautiful, right?" Ash’s voice slid beside me, low and casual.
I nodded. "Yeah. It is."
There was a pause, then I glanced at her. "Sylas told me you wanted me to come."
Ash let out a short laugh, tossing her hair over one shoulder. "Did he now?"
I gave a small shrug. "He’s not exactly subtle."
"No," she said, chuckling, "he’s not. But hey... did it work?"
I rolled my eyes. "I didn’t come because of that. I just... needed something. Anything. An excuse to get out again."
Ash leaned next to me, matching my stance as she looked out over the edge. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. Grieving feels easier when I’m not trapped indoors. When I’m not breathing the same air as my own sadness."
She turned her head, and I could feel her eyes on me, soft, sharp, too knowing.
"Don’t," I said.
Ash blinked. "Don’t what?"
"That look. The one people give when they want to say ’sorry’ without saying it. I hate it."
She straightened a little, defensive now. "I’m just trying to help."
"I know," I said. My voice cracked just a bit. "I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap."
Ash let out a breath and shook her head. "You didn’t snap."
Before either of us could say anything more, Sylas returned with a triumphant grin and a tray of drinks.
"I come bearing liquid courage," he declared. "Or liquid terrible decisions. Depending on how you use it."
He set the tray down and handed us each a glass, then grabbed one for himself. "To being emotionally unstable and pretending we’re not."
"To grief in glitter," Ash added.
"To whatever the hell this is," I mumbled, and we all clinked glasses.
The first drink went down like fire. The second like glass. The third... I didn’t even taste.
I don’t know when the buzz started to hit me. Maybe somewhere between the fourth shot and the fifth. But I liked the way it blurred the edges. It made everything quieter. Softer.
"Jesus," Sylas muttered after I downed another one. "Are you even human?"
Ash blinked at me, wide-eyed. "She’s actually terrifying."
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, smirking. "What, you guys can’t keep up?"
"Not when you’re drinking like the world’s ending," Sylas replied.
"Maybe it is," I whispered under my breath. Neither of them caught it.
Ash was still staring at her glass when she suddenly stood, wobbling slightly. "I need to go flirt with someone questionably hot before I completely lose my charm."
"Wait... what?" I blinked.
"Exactly," she winked, already striding toward the bar area, hips swaying to a rhythm only she heard.
I watched her disappear into the haze of bodies and neon light.
Sylas leaned toward me slightly. "She’s like... this menace."
"She’s good at pretending," I murmured.
He turned to me, brow raised. "And you’re not?"
I didn’t answer.
I was too busy watching the way the city looked from up here, still so far away. Still so quiet.
But not quiet enough to drown out the thoughts I’d tried to leave behind.
The alcohol blurred the city lights into something prettier than real life. It dulled the ache just enough to make me feel like I could breathe again.
Just barely.
Sylas had suggested we move to a quieter spot, somewhere less glitter, more stillness, and before I could even think to say no, I was following him again. I was always following someone, wasn’t I?
This part of the rooftop was tucked away behind a tall hedge of potted plants, string lights hanging loose above a cozy little seating nook. A bench leaned against the balcony’s stone ledge, and in front of it? A different slice of the city.
From here, the world looked older. Darker. The skyline wasn’t neon and glittering, it was shadowy, hushed, almost sleepy. Like the city had finally exhaled.
I sat first, dragging in the cool night air. My limbs were warm from the liquor, but my heart felt heavy, like it had been dipped in concrete.
Sylas slumped down beside me with a groan, one arm flopping dramatically over the back of the seat.
"God," he mumbled, "I think I’m gonna marry tequila."
I snorted softly, hugging my knees to my chest. "You say that now. Wait till the hangover proposes in the morning."
He gave a half-hearted chuckle but didn’t respond. Not really. I could feel his gaze on me though. Heavy. Quiet.
And suddenly, Kael slipped into my mind.
Just like that. Like a ghost taking up space in a room I thought I’d locked up.
I missed him.
So much it physically ached.
His voice. His stupid overbearing presence. The way he’d look at me like I was a secret he couldn’t wait to ruin. The way he’d fall asleep only when he knew I was beside him. The way he loved me in pieces, raw, broken pieces, but he still loved me.
And now he was gone. Because I told him to leave.
I blinked rapidly, chasing the thought away before it swallowed me whole.
"You okay?" Sylas asked.
I looked up. He was leaning toward me slightly, his eyes glazed with the kind of drunken honesty people only ever saw when the world was quiet enough for it.
I nodded. "Yeah. Just... thinking."
He didn’t answer. Just kept watching me.
Like I was a language he’d never quite learned but still wanted to speak fluently.
His fingers twitched beside mine on the bench.
"You always look like you’re seeing something I can’t," he said softly.
I turned my head, meeting his gaze. "That’s because I am."
There was a pause. Then he exhaled, shaky, uncertain.
"You make it so hard not to fall for you, Aria."