Chapter 282: Sarah
ARIA
It had been three nights.
Three quiet, sleepless nights in Sarah’s guest room, where everything smelled like eucalyptus and the windows never quite shut out the city’s humming.
And still, I hadn’t cried.
Not once.
I tried. Once, in the shower. Let the hot water slap my back until my skin turned pink. I thought maybe I’d break open if I pushed hard enough. But nothing came out.
Instead, it just sat there. That thing in my chest. The hollow weight of something I couldn’t name, couldn’t touch.
Grief? Maybe.
Shame? Definitely.
Rotting in me like an open wound left to fester, untouched, ignored, left for dead.
I’d tried to go back to work the next day after my father was buried. Just to feel something. But Sarah had been waiting by the door with her arms crossed and this look in her eyes like I was a child trying to sneak out in the middle of a thunderstorm.
"You’re not going anywhere," she’d said. "Don’t make me tie you up."
And Ash... I had told her my plans too and
She called. Not to scold, but with that quiet warning tone she had. "You’re not a robot, Aria. Sit down. Breathe. Take your damn time."
So I did.
I stayed here. On Sarah’s sofa. In Sarah’s house. Watching the sun rise and set like it was just a screensaver looping endlessly.
At first, it reminded me of when Mom died.
Same feeling. Same stillness.
Time passed. I stared at it like it was a stranger walking by. Hoping it’d fix something. Hoping if I waited long enough, it would stitch me back together.
But nothing happened.
And then one day, I just... adjusted. Got used to the pain. Wore it like second skin until I forgot it was even there. I think that’s what scared me the most now.
Not the grief, but the way I could ignore it so easily.
The way I felt myself floating again... detached, out of body, like I was stalling in some empty space in my mind, sitting in silence, knowing something terrible was coming. And knowing I couldn’t stop it. Just... delay it.
I kept thinking about Dad. Not the man he was, no, not anymore. I kept thinking about the man he tried to become. The man I didn’t forgive fast enough.
The image looped endlessly at the back of my mind.
He died in my arms. His blood soaked my hands. And I was still too proud to let him feel peace before he left.
I was the reason Olivia still cried in her sleep. The reason Kaleb clung to her tighter. The reason everything in this family broke.
My throat tightened, but I blinked it away.
I could’ve done better. But I didn’t. And now... it’s too late.
I stared at the muted TV across the room. Some show playing reruns. Characters laughing.
It made me nauseous. I didn’t know why.
Maybe I was sick. Maybe I was unraveling. Or maybe it was the part of me that still whispered Kael when I wasn’t thinking.
Kael.
God, Kael.
I told him to stay away.
And the worst part?
He did.
He actually listened.
I don’t know what I wanted more, his silence, or for him to break the rule and come anyway. I could remember the image of his blood soaked fists clenched with fury, and even then I still wanted him.
Both things hurt.
So I did what I’ve always done. I folded it up neatly and shoved it somewhere behind my ribs.
Sarah was in the kitchen humming to herself. She’d taken time off work for me. Cooked. Cleaned. Sat with me in the quiet. Let me not speak.
I was grateful.
I was.
But also?
I was rotting. From the inside out. And I didn’t know how to say that to the only person still by my side.
So I smiled when she handed me a bowl of noodles. I cracked a joke about it being salty. I offered to help wash the dishes.
I acted normal.
And somehow, that made it worse.
....
It was the third night when Sarah stood in the doorway to my room with a coat in her hand.
"Get up," she said, voice light. "We’re going out."
I blinked at her. "Now?"
"It’s either this or I make us rewatch The Notebook for the fifth time and cry into a pillow while eating expired Oreos. Your call."
I stared at her for a beat. My limbs didn’t want to move. My body felt too heavy.
But I got up.
And I smiled.
Because what else was there to do?
It was the first time I’d stepped outside Sarah’s apartment in what felt like forever.
The air didn’t feel real.
It wasn’t cold.
Wasn’t warm either.
Just... there.
The streetlights flickered over the pavement like they didn’t know whether to glow or die.
And parked right in front of the building was a sleek black jeep, its polished frame looking too expensive and too familiar for this kind of night.
I frowned.
"That your dad’s?" I asked, tugging my coat tighter around me.
Sarah locked the door behind us and tossed me the keys like I knew what to do with them.
"Yeah," she said. "Begged him for it. Told him I was rescuing someone important."
"Someone?"
She winked. "Don’t worry. It’s you."
I didn’t smile. Not really.
"Where are we even going?"
"We’ll figure it out on the way."
Cryptic.
Classic Sarah.
I slid into the passenger seat anyway.
The leather was cold. The car smelled like cedar and spearmint and faint traces of her father’s cologne.
It made me feel small. Like a kid again, sneaking into places I didn’t belong.
Sarah started the car. And the silence between us hummed as we pulled out of the street.
The city blurred past us... buildings melting into a mess of shadows and blinking lights. There weren’t as many people out anymore. The traffic had thinned. The noise dimmed.
Just the two of us now. The whisper of the engine. The breeze threading through the crack in the window.
And the aching, beautiful quiet.
I stared out at the world as it dulled around me. Like I could blink and everything would turn grayscale.
I didn’t speak. Neither did she. She didn’t need to.
We were just moving. Forward. Somewhere. Anywhere.
It felt... safe. Until it didn’t.
....
We stopped at a roadside diner slash gas station, the kind that smelled like overfried oil and too much nostalgia.
Sarah threw me a look.
"Stay in the car," she said, already unbuckling. "I’ll get us something disgusting and deep-fried."
I nodded, leaning my head against the window as she disappeared inside.
For a second, I just watched the flickering "OPEN 24 HOURS" sign.
And then my phone buzzed.
Unknown Number.
I frowned, thumb hovering for a moment before I tapped it open.
_Hey.
Another buzz.
_It’s me. Eric.
Of course it fucking was.
The universe had jokes tonight.
I didn’t reply. I was two seconds from blocking him—again—when another message lit up the screen.
_Please don’t block me. Just hear me out.
Another.
_It’s about Sarah.