Throwing bombs was always Fatty's specialty, but it was clear that this coffin was better left to the Zhang Explosives Group.
It wasn't that the bomb's power would change, but rather that Zhang Qiling could at least guarantee a timely retreat after throwing the bomb, rather than inexplicably perishing with the coffin.
Then, with a roar, the birds' warm home was blown into a pile of rubble.
After blowing up the coffin, Zhang Qiling didn't leave immediately. Instead, he stayed put and made some simple adjustments to the sharp stone fragments remaining around the entrance.
Wu Tianzhen and Fatty, with nothing to do, sat on the stone coffin watching the handsome guy shave stones, and were so bored that they started to rummage through the bird eggs.
"Don't say it!" Fatty held up an egg and looked at it carefully, unable to help but laugh, "These eggs are really quite fancy. Look at this, hahaha, the pattern on it looks like 'Tianzhen took a tumble and fell flat on his face' hahaha!"
Wu Tianzhen: ???
Not to be outdone, he immediately took out an egg and replied, "Then you have to look at this one. The pattern on this one is incredible, it's a perfect depiction of 'Fatty wetting the bed at seven years old'!"
Fatty: ...Wait, how do you even remember that?
As the two looked at each other, it was like lightning striking fire, and Wolong meeting Fengchu!
Their hands fluttered like colorful butterflies, and their mouths were like unscrupulous advertisers, pulling meanings that were miles apart to attach to those innocent bird eggs!
Just as the battle reached its climax, suddenly, Fatty's face felt hot, as if something soft and squishy had fallen on it.
He instinctively reached out to wipe it, and it was hot and viscous, white and sticky, and smelled quite foul!
His mind raced through all sorts of suspicious items, but it was Wu Tianzhen's exclamation that finally enlightened him.
"Damn! Where did a bird come from to poop crazily here?!"
Fatty: !!!!
He looked up and indeed, not far above them, two small, long-tailed birds with blue-green feathers were repeatedly flying back and forth in this small area, like bombers unleashing a barrage of extreme operations!
For a moment, the narrow coffin lid was a scene of "snowflakes fluttering," and as the two reacted, they quickly covered their heads with their clothes.
"I know!" Wu Tianzhen shouted hoarsely in the blizzard, "These must be the parents of those bird eggs. Now that their home has been blown up, they've come to seek revenge on us!"
"No, are their parents a bit brain-damaged!" Fatty felt utterly bewildered, "Little Brother is still standing at the crime scene, he's the prime suspect no matter how you look at it. How can these stupid birds not even see that?!"
In their despair, they looked towards Zhang Qiling. Under the scorching sun, Zhang Qiling held the hilt of the Black Gold Ancient Sword inserted into the stone wall with one hand, and with the other, he held a dagger borrowed from Wu Tianzhen, shaving stones.
The stone spikes looked incredibly sharp, but under the simple dagger, they shattered into dust like tofu, offering no resistance.
The Black Gold Ancient Sword and the dagger glinted with a cold light, reflecting on Zhang Qiling's icy face, the entire scene screaming "Whoever comes will die."
Fatty and Wu Tianzhen: ...
"Fine!" Fatty spat speechlessly, "These birds are quite good at bullying the weak and fearing the strong."
"We can't let this continue!" Wu Tianzhen couldn't stand it anymore and turned to pick up the bird's nest.
"I have to let them see that their eggs are still intact, and there's no deep-seated enmity between us!"
Saying this, Wu Tianzhen righteously pulled down his clothes and held the bird's nest high above his head. At that moment, Fatty even felt like it was a scene from The Lion King.
Seeing the bird eggs, the two birds indeed paused for a moment.
But before the two could breathe a sigh of relief, suddenly, the bird droppings bombs were launched even more fiercely!!
Bird parents: You destroyed our home, kidnapped our children, and you still dare to flaunt our children as hostages?!
Smash, smash with all your might!!!
...
Zhang Qiling finally finished shaving the stones and took the time to watch Wu Tianzhen and Fatty's 2v2 battle against the two birds.
The result was obvious. Under the aerial bombardment, not only could they not counterattack, but they couldn't even lift their heads.
Zhang Qiling: ...
He was momentarily speechless, picked up a small stone from the cave entrance, weighed it, and shot it out.
The stone became a blur in the air, grazing the tip of one bird's wing, and a feather drifted down under the force.
The two birds' assault stopped, and they both looked over, just in time to see Zhang Qiling raising his dagger expressionlessly in the light, the threatening glint of the blade flashing.
Birds: ...
A wise man doesn't fight when the odds are against him; knowing when to advance and when to retreat is the key to long-term survival. Clearly, the two birds understood this principle and, almost instantly, chose to follow their innermost instincts, squawking and flying away.
Fatty could finally take his jacket off his head.
Wu Tianzhen's jacket, which had been used to shield against the bombardment, had borne too much. Now that it was removed, the original black and red jacket had completely transformed into a white, non-smooth surface, exuding the peak of avant-garde design.
Of course, such fashion was still too advanced for humans, so the jacket was quickly tossed into the pool below, attracting countless tiny white insects to gather and watch the spectacle.
"Damn it!!" Fatty grumbled, thinking about it more and more, "If it weren't for me, Fatty, being considerate of them as bird parents, I would have shot them one by one long ago, how could I have let them act so outrageously!?"
"Alright Fatty, saving two birds' lives is better than building fourteen pagodas," Wu Tianzhen quipped. Seeing Zhang Qiling about to approach, he quickly pulled Fatty aside to make way.
A dark shadow flashed past, and Zhang Qiling was already standing before them. It was clear that his landing had been carefully calculated, achieving both handsomeness and潇洒 (xiāosǎ - dashing/graceful) while landing precisely on the spot where their jackets had covered, leaving no trace of bird droppings.
Now that the cave entrance was open, the next step was for Wu Tianzhen and Fatty to swing across to the entrance one by one.
To prevent any accidents, Zhang Qiling had specifically returned to tie the three of them together with the long rope from his backpack. The rope was long enough not to impede their movements, and if anyone lost their footing midway, they could be rescued in time.
After making preparations, Zhang Qiling once again "flew" back to the cave entrance to act as a receiver.
To be honest, while Zhang Qiling flew up and down this cliff like a performer, it turned into a terrifying extreme challenge when it was Fatty and Wu Tianzhen's turn.
Wu Tianzhen was doing alright. Even if he hadn't become Tarzan, he had still successfully swung across.
But when it was Fatty's turn, things became comical.
As he jumped, he had to shout loudly first:
"You jump. I jump!"
"My dear, I'm coming!!!!"
With that, he leaped with a bang. Gravity aside, he also added his intentional downward momentum. Seeing his posture, Zhang Qiling instantly reached out and pressed down on the hilt of the Black Gold Ancient Sword.
As expected, Fatty's force was not as refined as Zhang Qiling's. At this moment, he was like a fallen angel, almost pulling the heavily burdened Black Gold Ancient Sword out of the cliff face.
When Fatty finally entered the cave successfully, the Black Gold Ancient Sword couldn't help but emit a humming sound.
It had encountered ghosts, corpses, stones, and trees all the way without much issue, but now it felt wronged like a child weighing hundreds of pounds. Zhang Qiling could only pat the hilt to soothe its emotions.
Just as he was about to pat the scabbard again, Zhang Qiling suddenly heard an exclamation from inside the cave.
"Holy crap! What is this thing?!"