Chapter 1.1 Salty Fish Canon, First Row, First Chapter, First Rule

"People need to know how to be content."

As a man determined to be the king of salty fish (lazy bum),

Boss Zhou waved his "new claws" a few times, like a child gleefully receiving a new toy.

Before long, he retracted his claws, ran downstairs to take another shower, and then went to sleep soundly, hugging his maid, Bai.

This kind of "embezzlement" was really dangerous, especially since the consciousness within him had become disgusted by it and even started to resist. Fortunately, Zhou Ze managed to suppress it in the end.

But from another perspective, this feeling was really stimulating.

Boss Zhou felt like he had successfully "stolen a chicken."

Embracing the attitude that he had already made a profit,

he slept exceptionally soundly that night.

Perhaps it was because he had expended so much energy the night before, Zhou Ze didn't wake up until the afternoon. After getting out of bed, he discovered that many parts of his body were aching, like someone who doesn't usually exercise suddenly having a burst of inspiration, shouting the slogan of losing weight, and gritting their teeth to work out.

As a former doctor, Zhou Ze naturally knew that this was due to excessive lactic acid secretion, so he didn't take it to heart. He still leisurely went to wash up, then sat down on the first floor.

Bai Yingying immediately brought over tea and today's newspaper.

The newspaper had been specially ironed by Bai Yingying beforehand.

For a long time, before nobles read the newspaper, servants would iron it beforehand. This was because printing technology wasn't good in the past, and ironing the newspaper could prevent fingers from getting ink stains when turning the pages. This wasn't really an issue anymore, but Bai Yingying liked the sense of ritual.

Zhou Ze let her do as she pleased.

Nowadays, under Bai Yingying's meticulous care, Boss Zhou was very much like a Qing Dynasty nobleman who would take his birdcage out for a stroll every morning.

Lao Dao (Old Daoist) was watching the news, sitting next to the bar with Monkey sitting in his lap. He watched the news while picking lice off of Monkey.

Actually, Monkey was very clean and knew how to groom itself, but Lao Dao was used to this feeling. Whether he found lice or not didn't matter. Monkey's fur was soft and fluffy, and felt really nice on his hands. It was very comfortable to rub and pinch it.

Monkey also enjoyed it, resting its little head against Lao Dao's chest, looking very content.

The state of one man and one monkey doing nothing was even more decadent and lazy than the image of civil servants drinking tea and reading the newspaper that ordinary people talked about.

"Yo, Boss, this celebrity committed suicide."

Lao Dao pointed at the television screen and called out to Zhou Ze.

"Who is it?"

Zhou Ze didn't even lift his head. He wasn't interested in entertainment news.

"It's that male singer who sings '%￥@@#'."

"Oh."

He knew the song, but didn't know the person.

"He exposed himself on Weibo in the wee hours of the morning for cheating, admitting to drug use, and also admitting to being gay. Wow, is this enlightenment like becoming a Buddha?

He spilled all his dirty laundry on the internet, and then jumped off the top of the hotel building. Tsk tsk, I really liked a few of his songs."

As he spoke, Lao Dao reached out and grabbed a handful of Monkey's fur,

"Monkey also likes it. It often uses its phone to play this song."

"Oh."

Boss Zhou continued to enjoy the comfortable experience of the ironed newspaper. He really wasn't interested in this kind of news.

Dead people,

he'd seen too many.

Men, women, tall, short, fat, skinny, virtuous, scummy husbands, etcetera, etcetera,

in Boss Zhou's eyes, they had almost become Nanjing salted ducks on an assembly line,

coming naked, being packaged routinely, and then sent to Hell for reception.

It was said that some forensic doctors liked to sleep in their workplace because it made them feel warm and like someone was accompanying them. Maybe it really wasn't that people had psychological problems; after all, humans were animals with strong adaptation skills.

"Hey, wait a minute."

Lao Dao took out his phone and flipped through it again, saying in surprise:

"Boss, this singer had a commercial performance in Tong City yesterday. He jumped from the top of the Tong City Grand Hotel."

"Oh."

For a long time, the Tong City Grand Hotel had been a landmark building in the hearts of the people of Tong City. More than ten years ago, people in Tong City liked to brag that they had gone to the Tong City Grand Hotel for dinner yesterday, and so on.

Lao Dao became more and more excited, completely ignoring his boss's perfunctory attitude. He continued:

"Boss, do you think he'll come to our bookstore tonight?

I have to prepare some bull's tears (a traditional ingredient used to see ghosts). If he comes, we might even get to hear him sing a song in person."

Zhou Ze raised his head and glanced at Lao Dao.

"Not all dead people come to our bookstore,"

Zhou Ze reminded him.

If all the dead people had to come to the bookstore, then the bookstore's GDP would be terrifying. Boss Zhou would be so busy that he wouldn't even have time to drink coffee, and he might even surpass the chief constable and the super patrol officer.

But in reality, the vast majority of souls would go to Hell on their own. Only a minority of disobedient soul babies would be sent to Hell through the bookstore channel.

"Boss, I think he has a lot of grievances. Look, he exposed all his dirty laundry before he died, and then committed suicide. There must be some great injustice involved!"

"So?"

"So he's very likely to really come to the bookstore tonight!"

Lao Dao was full of fanboy vibes.

Honestly,

Lao Dao's way of chasing stars could be said to completely blow away the famous "Hongqiao One Sister" (a paparazzi).

You block the airport entrance, I block the entrance to Hell.

"Want to chase stars? I do know a place where there are a lot of celebrities, and there are even stars like Teresa Teng and Anita Mui that I like."

"Really?" Lao Dao said in surprise.

"Yeah, quickly find a rope and hang yourself. I'll be responsible for sending your soul to Hell. Maybe you can even catch their underground concert."

"............" Lao Dao.

In the evening, Xu Qinglang prepared another feast. For the first time, Boss Zhou solemnly took out his treasured Bianhua (Lycoris radiata) brand juice and took a small sip cautiously. Then, he felt his appetite opening up and had a truly satisfying meal!

The others at the table looked at Boss Zhou the same way they had looked at the old Granny Meng gobbling down soup the day before.

Sure enough,

the living conditions in Hell were bad,

look how hungry these ghosts were.

After the meal,

feeling a bit too full, Boss Zhou simply carried a chair and sat down at the entrance of the bookstore. Taking advantage of the afterglow of the Bianhua medicinal effect, Zhou Ze accepted the candied fruit that Bai Yingying brought him and continued to eat.

Happily eating,

enjoying the wonderful feeling of food,

this long-lost happiness,

if Boss Zhou hadn't deliberately held it back, he might have cried at the dinner table.

Xu Qinglang walked to the entrance of the store, lit a cigarette, and looked a little lost.

Today's meal marked the upcoming withdrawal of Xu Qinglang's sour plum juice-based series of juice drinks from the market.

Without speaking, without communicating, Xu Qinglang went back to the bookstore to busy himself with his own things after finishing his cigarette.

Boss Zhou was very comfortably enjoying the last bustle of South Street in the evening,

while also pondering whether to spend some time tonight practicing with the scythe claws that had come out yesterday to familiarize himself with them, or to continue stealing a chicken?

The latter impulse was quickly suppressed by Zhou Ze. Forget it, don't bite off more than you can chew, take it slowly.

A small car stopped in front of the bookstore. The window rolled down, and Zhou Ze saw a man sitting inside wearing a blue dress!

The candied fruit in his throat suddenly choked him, and Zhou Ze coughed.

The other party turned his face and looked at Zhou Ze, with a little dissatisfaction on his expression, but he didn't say anything.

He took out his phone, as if he was re-locating himself. Finally, he looked at Zhou Ze again, and then pushed open the car door and got out.

It wasn't until the other party got out of the car that Zhou Ze realized that he might have been mistaken before. The other party was wearing a delicate black suit. He might have draped a woman's dress over himself while driving.

Before the person even got close, the fragrance had already permeated the air. It was the smell of perfume, very pungent and strong.

In this situation, Zhou Ze really wanted to call Xu Qinglang out to compare.

You've met your match!

However, Zhou Ze quickly noticed the difference. Lao Xu (Old Xu) was straight, and there were no problems with his function or interests in that regard. His feminine appearance was natural, while the person in front of him was full of affectedness, and as a senior surgeon, Zhou Ze could tell that the other party's face had undergone a lot of surgery. This person had forcefully modified himself to have a woman's aura.

"Came to your place, just saying hello. My name is Liu Chuyu, a newly promoted ghost messenger from Changzhou. I'm here tonight to escort a soul back."

The other party extended his hand to Zhou Ze, intending to shake hands, but he had placed a handkerchief on his palm beforehand. The meaning was obvious: he thought Zhou Ze's hand was dirty.

Boss Zhou himself was a bit of a neat freak, so he smiled when he saw this scene and didn't bother shaking hands with this guy. He asked directly:

"Lin Ke told me that there was a ghost messenger from Changzhou crossing borders to come here. What, are you taking a ghost away from me, stealing my business?"

"I can compensate you in other ways. This soul is very important to me. I need to personally send him off, and there may be some unexpected situations along the way."

The other party bent down and looked at Zhou Ze:

"If my attitude and posture make you feel uncomfortable, then I apologize to you here. I don't want to cause trouble here.

I'm not arrogant, and I'm not aloof.

It's just that the inertia of this body is too strong.

Many of my current behaviors are being driven by the previous habits of this body. I haven't fully adapted yet, sorry."

"The inertia of the body?"

"Oh, in short, this body instinctively rejects men and hates men, but he himself is a man."

Liu Chuyu had an expression of utter despair,

"I'm also desperate to have fallen into this host's body."

As he spoke, Liu Chuyu looked carefully at Zhou Ze, smiled, and said:

"Brother, you chose a good body, quite handsome. I really envy you."

"Hehe."

Zhou Ze wanted to tell him that falling into the body of the person who killed him wasn't something to be envied either,

but looking at the person in front of him,

he suddenly felt that Xu Le still had his lovable points.