Chapter 1081: Somewhere I Shouldn’t Be...
A door creaked open in the hallway of the Tathamet home.
The place was quiet, which was an unusual occurrence for this particular dwelling.
But with everyone in the house getting geared up to leave or already away, the usual sounds of laughter and mild arguing were on sabbatical for the time being.
Ziz stepped out of his room and shut the door behind him.
He wandered through the hall with a peculiar interest in everything he saw.
His walk through the hall changed into a light skip.
"The fuck are you doing?"
Ziz stopped in his tracks and turned around to find Satan staring at him with an incredulous look.
"...I was engaging in some whimsical antics. You might want to try it sometime. Good for the spirit." Ziz insisted.
Satan stared for a few more moments before shaking his head in disinterest and moving on.
"Fucking pansy ass bird..."
The demon wandered down the hallway while grumbling a number of unfriendly slurs and taunts.
Shrugging, Ziz watched him go before he went back to strutting down the hallway.
However, instead of skipping, he stuffed both hands in his pocket and whistled while he walked.
The way he moved was cartoonish in a number of ways.
Ziz walked all the way downstairs towards the living room, where he saw a group of familiar faces.
When Karliah saw Ziz standing in the middle of the doorway, she paused like she’d just been caught with her pants do-... Actually, Karliah didn’t care much about being seen naked. She did, however, hate to be embarrassed.
"...This isn’t what it looks like."
Ziz seemed slightly amused.
"How very... cute."
Karliah put down the children’s toys she was playing with and glared at Ziz fiercely.
"You ever say that again, I’ll pull your guts out through your nose and leave you in the freezer of the first Popeyes I find!"
"I prefer Kentucky Fried if I’m honest..."
"That’s why I’m sending you to Popeyes, fuck nuts. You’ll be dropped on the floor, berated, and given to someone who didn’t want you before you’re thrown in the garbage. Fitting."
Ziz blinked several times.
"You are... very passionate about the differences in human chicken chains."
"And don’t you fucking forget it."
Odessa and K’ael had no idea what their grandmother was going on about, but they at least knew she was using words they shouldn’t repeat when they were older.
Against Karliah’s wishes, Ziz sat down with them while holding his chin with both hands.
He stared deeply into Karliah’s eyes with a look that she couldn’t place.
"...You’re off the market, Goldilocks. If you’re trying to solicit me, it won’t work." Saying something like that was truly a first for Karliah.
"Huh...? Oh, right." Ziz nodded. "Well, sad as that may be, I was just wondering what you were doing here with them. I wouldn’t have thought that you’d be doing the whole grandparent thing."
"I am their grandparent, Twinkie Bird."
"Well, yeah, but do you ever really act like one? You’re not really the nurturing sort, from what I remember..."
"Do I have to be?" Karliah raised her brow.
"Well, if you’re going to be around kids, then..."
"It’s not like I’m irresponsible. I love these two little shits- I mean, little angels with all of my butt."
"Heart."
"My butt is bigger."
Ziz’s brow furrowed.
His lip twitched awkwardly as a strange, genuine smile formed on his face.
"...You’re funny. Who would have thought there would be a humorous mind underneath all those muscles and sharp teeth!" Ziz cackled.
Karliah rolled her eyes and went back to playing trucks with K’ael.
"Suck my dick, bird."
"Don’t you mean-"
"I meant what I said."
Ziz was starting to think Karliah was a little less funny.
"Alright, time’s up!"
Malenia suddenly came into the room and made a beeline straight for her niece and nephew.
"That’s enough time spent with Granny War Crimes. Now it’s time to have a real playdate with a responsible adult."
Odessa showed a smile full of small white teeth as she waddled over to Malenia.
Karliah’s face soured.
"Traitorous little shit..."
Odie paused around five paces away from Malenia. She turned back and ran back over to Karliah, treating her large body as a giant jungle gym.
She gave her grandmother’s cheek a small smooch.
’Buh-bye Gwanny.’
Malenia could have sworn she saw Karliah’s cheeks turn rosy and her eyes get watery. She wished that she had taken a picture for the rest of the group chat.
"Ah... I’ll miss you, little shit." Karliah kissed the young girl on top of the head and sent her back to Malenia. Odessa would forever attach the name ’little shit’ to her personality.
When the silver-skinned dragonness left, it was just Karliah and the golden bird who were sitting on the living room carpet.
Ziz watched Karliah wipe her eyes and nose quickly before she stared at him angrily.
"The fuck are you looking at, Pigeon? You run your mouth about this to anyone in the family, and I will murder you in your sleep."
"..." Ziz let out a disappointed sigh as he tilted his head.
"Not gonna lie, you seemed really interesting at first, but... Now I think you’re just as boring as the rest. All of you are so soft..."
Karliah laughed so hard she snorted. "You’re one to talk about soft, you big yellow prick. Everyone saw you tuck your tail between your legs when Yemaja got proposed to by Ryujin. You worried you’re no longer going to be the prettiest apple of her eye?"
Ziz made an uninterested expression as he stared into the fireplace.
"Yeah... guy’s got all sorts of insecurities brewing around in here."
Karliah raised a brow. "What are you-"
Ziz’s hand shot out and grabbed Karliah by the neck.
What she thought was idle play became significantly more sinister when she felt the amount of force Ziz was putting into his hand.
She started to rip his hand away, when a pointed knife was suddenly pressed against her chest.
Even without the knife piercing her skin, her entire body knew that something about it was... wrong.
She froze, but her eyes conveyed an immense resentment.
"This better be a game, Twinkie Bird."
Ziz clicked his teeth impatiently as he kept staring into the fire.
"So much name-calling, so much belittling... You know, it’s really no wonder why a guy like that would reach out to someone like me for a little... guidance."
"The fuck are you talking about...?"
"Nothing. It won’t really matter soon anywa-"
The house suddenly shook with a dark, visceral anger.
The walls became disturbed and moved with a life of their own.
An array of demonic, gargoyle-like creatures crawled out of the walls of the house and snarled at Ziz.
"....Man, do I gotta get some of those in my house." Ziz whistled.
Suddenly, a ball of flame appeared in the middle of the living room.
From it, Abaddon emerged, and the pressure radiating off of him was so terrible that even Karliah cried despite not having done anything wrong.
"I meant what I wrote. This really is a nice house."
Abaddon narrowed his eyes at Ziz.
"You ingrate...!"
In the blink of an eye, Karliah was separated from Ziz and was dangling from Abaddon’s arms.
Before Ziz could say anything, he was suddenly suspended in the air, and the room around him was on fire.
Abaddon summoned a sword and started to behead the intruder in front of him.
But that was when Ziz finally screamed something that wasn’t gibberish.
"Don’t go breaking the rules now, Abaddon!! The mother wouldn’t like that!"
The dragon paused. He knew exactly what Ziz was implying.
Abaddon didn’t leave the colosseum to come here. He made a second body, so technically, he was still there. And somehow, so was Percival.
"You demons and your technicalities...!" He growled.
"I prefer the term loop-de-loops..." Ziz gasped. "A bit more chipper in spirit."
"You think you can get away with this?" Abaddon’s voice trembled. "I will kill you in a trillion different ways before the sun sets.
"Well, not before the trial ends, you won’t. And I don’t plan on leaving this comfortable little skin-suit anytime soon, so...make me some waffles. Witch chicken, preferably. I’m in the mood for them suddenly."
Abaddon broke into a smile. All of his teeth were sharp and too big for his jaws. "You don’t understand where you are, urchin. In my domain, I don’t need to wait for you to be in the mood to do anything. I can do it myself."
Percival suddenly held out his hand. "Yes, yes, I know you could probably separate me from this meatbag in less than a fragment of a second.
But here’s the catch: I had to take this body over by force since I didn’t have time to corrupt him slowly. If you rip me out of him by force, then I’m afraid I’ll be taking chunks of the bird with me.
And if you think about trying to have your family harm me, then I’ll just switch the controls for a bit... I won’t feel a thing.
You’re already on the outs with your daughter over this little partridge in a pear tree. Can you really afford to make things worse..?" Percival smiled.
At that moment, the room began filling up with family members, one after the other.
They arrived just in time to see Abaddon go critical and literally blow the roof off their house.