Having busily passed the Lantern Festival, the intermittent snow finally stopped. Theoretically, spring was approaching, but as one walked down the street, the sky remained a leaden gray, with only a few vibrant plum blossoms peeking out between the courtyard walls.

He usually didn't take a carriage when going to the courtyard where Yunzhu and Jin'er lived. Today, he especially wanted to walk and reflect on the confusion in his heart, and the things he had done since arriving in the capital, or even before. In the blink of an eye, it had been three years since he came here. Recalling his initial state of mind, he had now adapted to the deep courtyards and bright-tiled, green-walled houses. What one sees during the day and thinks about at night accumulates in the heart, giving one a sense of being somewhere, and then more and more trivial matters come along, filling every bit of empty space that one can feel.

Many things had happened in the past three years, and he didn't know if this beginning was good or bad. He wasn't a sentimental person, nor did he have many melodramatic worries. When things pressed down, he would solve them. It was a simple pattern. Even if he encountered something difficult to solve, he could always find a clue in his heart.

Children chasing each other ran past him.

Yunzhu's letter was in his sleeve, slightly warm. After that thunderstorm half a year ago, Yunzhu had become intimate with him. When she wanted to leave then, she left secretly, but this time it was different. Ning Yi could understand the difference in meaning. He had thought about it for a while in the morning, and then walked all the way here. As he reached the entrance of the small courtyard, he hesitated for a moment before finally knocking.

Jin'er opened the door, pouting as she looked at him, holding the door bolt in her hand. The two faced each other for a while. Ning Yi nodded and said, "I understand. Let me go in first. Can we talk about it later?" Jin'er then dropped the door bolt and walked ahead.

As he passed through the courtyard, the wintersweet flowers on one side were still blooming, and there was a small snowman piled up outside the corridor in front. Ning Yi asked and found out that Yunzhu was cooking in the kitchen. He went all the way there. Jin'er sulked for a while, chasing after him to kick him, but Ning Yi dodged it.

The sound of cooking came from the kitchen at the back of the courtyard. Ning Yi stopped at the door, took a breath, and entered the room. Compared to the small building by the Qinhuai River in Jiangning, the kitchen in this courtyard was not small. Yunzhu was standing by the stove wearing a plain white dress, her hair tied up behind her head, with two simple pearl hairpins. The kitchen was filled with the aroma of vegetables and the smell of blood. There were various seasonings on the cutting board, and a bowl filled with chicken blood. The kitchen had been cleared of others at this time. Everything here must have been done by Yunzhu alone.

Ning Yi watched for a while, then walked over from behind. Yunzhu tilted her head and smiled when she saw him. Ning Yi reached out and hugged her from behind, their cheeks touching. Yunzhu closed her eyes.

"I received the letter you wrote..."

"Mm."

"You want to go to Xuanzhou."

The food was still cooking in the kitchen. Both of them spoke softly. After Ning Yi let go of her, he smiled slightly, squatted down to the side, and threw a piece of firewood into the stove: "If I say... I won't let you go, what will you do?"

Yunzhu squatted down, her hands folded on her lap, looking at the fire in the earthen stove. She leaned closer to Ning Yi with a smile and said softly, "Then I won't go. You are my man. I will do whatever you say... But my husband is not such an overbearing person."

"You're the first person to say that about me." Ning Yi shook his head. While Yunzhu got up and stirred the pot, he was silent for a moment. "You know, if you really just wanted to go back to your parents' hometown to visit, I would definitely agree. But this time it's different, isn't it... I've put a lot of pressure on you, haven't I..."

Yunzhu was silent for a moment, but shook her head. Ning Yi rubbed his forehead. Yunzhu ran to the side and brought him a small stool to sit on. After recovering from her illness, she had shed the weakness of the past few months and showed her usual resilient and simple temperament again. The kitchen quieted down. Ning Yi sat there tending the fire, and Yunzhu went back and forth chopping and cooking. The main ingredient was a chicken, and she made several dishes. Ning Yi and Yunzhu actually had a lot of tacit understanding, but this time, she made Ning Yi feel a little troubled.

Like a typical small family, the meal was soon cooked. Ning Yi and Yunzhu carried it to the living room and had lunch with Jin'er. The dishes were exquisite, but Ning Yi and Jin'er didn't have a good appetite. After finishing cleaning up and washing the dishes, Yunzhu went upstairs to brew tea for Ning Yi and brought the storybook that she hadn't finished reading a few days ago for Ning Yi to read. The room on the second floor was warm. Ning Yi had only read halfway when Yunzhu was already lying on his lap, seemingly about to fall asleep. Jin'er didn't come in, wondering if she was listening at the door outside.

"We had chicken for lunch today..." When Ning Yi stopped reading halfway to drink tea, Yunzhu, who was lying on his lap, smiled and said softly. Ning Yi closed the book, waiting for her to speak.

"Li Heng... We've known each other for almost three years, right? Do you remember the first time we met, I was killing that hen..." Her tone was gentle, "Yunzhu thinks the best thing in her life was pulling Li Heng into the river that time."

"Yes, I saved you, and you slapped me." Ning Yi reached out and stroked the hair on her head, casually removing the pearl hairpin. Yunzhu closed her eyes, lying like a cat.

"Yunzhu is always your person. You can take revenge however you want." She pressed her cheek against Ning Yi's leg and shook it with a smile. "Later... so many things happened... that pancake stall, preserved eggs, Bamboo Memories, I learned to kill chickens, learned to cook... You used to run past the river every morning. Do you know that the thing I looked forward to most every day was you running over there, sitting down for a while, and saying a few words to me..."

"So what exactly is going on?" Ning Yi frowned and dragged her over, asking directly, "Why do you want to leave this time?"

"Then." Yunzhu shrank into his arms and was silent for a moment. "Then... Li Heng put too much pressure on himself."

"Pressure..." Ning Yi frowned, then shook his head. "I've solved a lot of things, Yunzhu. Actually, it's nothing. I can handle it. Of course there will be pressure, but it's nothing. A man has to be a little ruthless with himself..."

"So I also find it strange. My man is a strange person." Yunzhu smiled softly. She took a breath and said softly, "Li Heng, Liangshan is nothing compared to you, and national affairs are nothing compared to you, but you are troubled by just a few women. The strangest thing about you is this. You value the people around you more than national affairs. I'm actually very happy, but because of that, I want to go out and relax..."

"I'm not troubled because of you!" Ning Yi said with some distress. After denying it, he weighed his words, "Actually... that's not how it is. Simply put, I feel like I'm not good enough to you..."

"Not good enough?"

"It's not the same thing."

"But it's already good enough. These past few months, you've accompanied me to see the doctor, accompanied me to relax, come over to chat with me, read books, worrying about me all day long..."

"So you think I'm delaying your business, and I'm still putting pressure on you."

"No." Yunzhu hugged his arm, lying there looking up at him, shaking her head softly, "Li Heng, you've put pressure on yourself. Can you listen to me?"

She smiled: "In Yunzhu's life, there are good things and bad things. Speaking of good things, I met a man worth entrusting myself to. Speaking of bad things, those years in the brothel, living in fear, I think I can't escape it... Li Heng, I used to be a lady from an official family. In the brothel, they said I had high aspirations. After coming out of the brothel, they also said I had high standards. But my aspirations are not high after all, especially after following you. Yunzhu... anything is fine. A good life, a bad life, but I also know that you will never fail me..."

"I want to stay by your side, I don't want to go anywhere... Whether it's being your concubine or a woman kept outside, I'm satisfied. Li Heng... Women are strange, maybe it's just me, but I'm just worried that one day you really won't want me anymore, and I really become a burden to you, then I really won't be able to live on. Thinking about it this way, I got sick..."

"But as long as I'm still useful, whether it's this body, singing for you, accompanying you to talk and relieve boredom, even if you're really unhappy outside, and you come back and lose your temper like men in ordinary families, beat me up, and then you're happy, I'll be happy too... Li Heng, I haven't told you these things before, for fear you'd think I'm strange."

"Back in the brothel, I also thought that one day I would be like others, get married, become someone's concubine, maybe meet a man in his tens of years, pamper you when he likes you, and beat and scold you when he's unhappy. I was so scared at that time... But later, when I thought of Li Heng, I sometimes imagined that one day, you were unhappy outside, and I tried my best to make you happy. When you got angry, you even beat me up, maybe even hit me hard, hitting me until my head was bleeding, and then your anger would dissipate. When I thought of this, I actually felt happy, and then... um... missed you..."

She said this with a slight shyness, a blush appearing on her face, her voice even softer: "Although I know that Li Heng, you would never do such a thing to me, I want to do that for you instead. That's how women are..."

Ning Yi lowered his head, his brow furrowed slightly, and sighed softly: "After all, feelings are between two people. You can be like this, and of course I have to be better to you. It's normal for me to feel pressure."

"But I don't want that..."