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In a daze, she was back in that snowy night. Search: \(¨End¨of¨Book¨God¨Station¨) to read fine literature for free.

The chill around her came in waves, the wind howled, the goose feather snowflakes fell, and it was so cold that her body actually heated up. She huddled in the woodpile, refusing to come out, and saw her mother approaching, crying loudly, "Why me? Why not my sister? Why me?"

She was five years old that year, but that question was indeed one she should ask.

She grew up by a small fishing village in Jiangnan, but her family didn't make a living by fishing. She had an older sister and a younger brother, she was her sister's sister, and her brother's sister, ranking second. But for some reason, the land's harvest was still good, and her father still worked in the rich man's workshop, but the family was getting poorer and poorer. Only five years old at the time, she didn't understand these things. But the second time the broker came to her house, it was on that snowy night, she ran out and hid in the woodpile outside the house, afraid to go home, until her mother came to find her and take her back.

"Why me?"

She asked, crying. Her family didn't say, but she just knew something. She didn't know what the future held, but she... was going to be sent away. Although the family didn't have much, and was very poor, she still knew that staying at home was the best, better than anywhere outside.

She knew it wouldn't be her brother who was sent away, but she didn't understand why not her sister, although she didn't want her sister to leave either... Her mother hugged her and cried, saying, "Because you're smart, you're smarter than your sister. Because you are smart, you'll have a better chance of survival outside than your sister. Don't blame your father, blame your mother..."

She always remembered her mother crying and saying that she was smarter. She was sold, transferred several times, and sold to a brothel. Training, beatings, and starvation, she was hungry. After a few years, she grew up, her appearance was delicate, and because she was smart, she was well-fed and well-drink, and teachers came to teach them etiquette, cultivation, and teach them to read, play the zither, chess, calligraphy, and painting.

She always remembered her father and mother, remembered that snowy night, that you are smart, you have a better chance of survival than your sister. When she truly understood these things, she didn't know whether to hate her father and mother. When she was almost thirteen years old, she appeared as a virgin in the brothel for the first time to entertain guests. When she was almost fifteen years old, the copper coins and broken silver she had saved were finally exchanged for a large silver ingot, and she was finally able to be treated seriously by the brothel madam, giving her a chance to return home to visit her relatives.

She remembered that when Mama Yang told her about this, there was only a contemptuous and sarcastic expression on her face. For women who had no value, Mama Yang was always indifferent. She only had fear in her heart, and could not understand the meaning in the other person's eyes. She held the ingot in her hands, and even asked Uncle Turtle Slave of Jinfeng Tower to rent a small carriage for her, and went all the way back. At that time, she hadn't figured out how to face her father and mother, whether to hate them or forgive them. She thought that when she got there, she could figure it out, and she could rely on her mood at that time to scold them and turn around and leave, never paying attention to them for the rest of her life, or leave the ingot behind, turn around and leave, never paying attention to them for the rest of her life. One ingot, fifty taels of silver, was enough for a family to use for a long time.

But she didn't get the chance to hate or forgive.

Her father went to the mountains to chop wood and fell to his death. Her brother had an illness, and borrowed money from the rich man, but the illness was still not cured. After her brother died, her mother also died. She remembered her mother saying, you are smart, maybe there is a way to survive.

But her sister married the son of the rich man as a concubine, and is still alive now.

So she changed into villager's clothes and went to find her sister. She didn't tell her sister that she had become a prostitute. In the backyard of the rich man's house, her sister didn't ask her about her experiences over the years, and kept talking about how she was competing for favor with the other concubines, things she didn't like about the other concubines, the bullying she had suffered, and that her husband, who had read some books, was still spending money in the town's brothels all day long, things like that. She didn't stay until noon before leaving, because the rich man's son came back, saw her, and then his eyes changed a little, and then her sister's eyes towards her also changed, becoming hesitant and defensive.

She was able to become a courtesan in the Jinfeng Tower later. Her sister's appearance was not bad either, but ten years of education had made a difference. Although she was wearing patched clothes, she was too eye-catching compared to her sister. Her sister... was even afraid that she would stay and compete with her for favor. She held the ingot and followed Uncle Turtle Slave back to Jinfeng Tower. She never went back to that small fishing village after that.

She was a smart person, and could have a way to survive. From then on, she knew what she wanted, she wanted to walk happily along this path of survival, she... at least lived better than her father and mother's lives, she didn't think too much, and became happy. Maybe in the future, she would have a very powerful and talented scholar from a good family marry her home as a concubine, and live a happy life.

Of course, there were some things that she had always longed for.

That little sister named Yunzhu, she saw her when she was following her teacher to study. She had a good temper and was willing to help people. She heard that she used to be an official's daughter. Maybe she had the temperament of an official's daughter on her body. She didn't have that kind of temperament, but she just felt... somewhat

Envy.

Of course, they didn't have too much interaction with each other. Later, they both became virgin courtesans in Jinfeng Tower, and they only nodded to each other. Jin'er felt that she had some longing for her, and that longing was difficult to explain. Of course, not everyone in Jinfeng Tower could stand Nie Yunzhu's behavior. Some girls were very hostile to her, couldn't stand her background, couldn't stand her aloof behavior, couldn't stand her not being willing to be happy, couldn't stand her being able to have fame comparable to the most popular courtesan even when she was unhappy. Even Mama Yang Xiuhong seemed to be dissatisfied with Nie Yunzhu, and occasionally scolded her.

Yuan Jin'er, who had unraveled her knot and saw her path clearly, lived very happily. She soon had more and more ingots around her. She just looked at all of this, released a little corner of her heart to yearn for the woman named Nie Yunzhu, and then maintained a light nodding acquaintance with her. Later, Nie Yunzhu did leave Jinfeng Tower. Mama Yang was a person with a cold exterior and a warm interior. Her kindness would not be given out randomly, but she cared about these capable women in the building. She had once said that in such an environment, if you don't work hard, you don't deserve to live, and if you are really not beautiful, then God doesn't give you food to eat. In this world, don't complain or blame.

She scolded her like that, wanting Sister Yunzhu to recognize reality and choose an easy path to take, but in the end, she didn't succeed. Even so, she still gave Yunzhu the opportunity to teach the zither in the building.

However, she would not take that path. Although she gradually grew up and was able to recognize what she longed for in her heart, those were all unnecessary extravagant thoughts. She was very smart, and would continue to walk along this path of survival, or, it could be said that she was a utilitarian person. Sometimes she felt that her father and mother sent her out just to let her live, it would be good to live... but when she saw that Nie Yunzhu was living in distress, she couldn't help but want to send her some money...

She was a utilitarian person, she convinced herself like this, but in the end, a smart person couldn't help but think too much. Coming out of Jinfeng Tower, was Mama Yang's sharp tongue happy or disappointed in the end? Maybe both. What did her father and mother in heaven think? Did they think she did the right thing, or would they think she gave up her chance to survive? She didn't know.

But she lived very happily. People who could come out of that environment together easily became close sisters, supporting each other. From then on, she regarded Sister Yunzhu as her closest person. After that, there was also that strange man who would suddenly appear or disappear, who became a barrier between her and Sister Yunzhu, but also took her to see scenery that she had never thought of before.

Gradually...

She liked to argue with him. Liked to see him tell jokes. Liked his lack of seriousness. Liked to see the helpless expression on his face because she occupied Yunzhu's sister. Liked to see the triumphant look on his face after he took advantage of Yunzhu's sister because of her carelessness. Did he know that it was her who did it on purpose?

Liked to see his calm appearance in front of her and Yunzhu sister. His calm appearance in front of others. Liked to hear people talk about his news, to hear people praise him. Liked his serious appearance. Liked the way he protected her and Yunzhu sister in front of the Su family. Liked and didn't like his bloodstained appearance. Would he know that she liked him so much...

Also because of him and Yunzhu sister, she gradually saw that in her heart, that little girl standing in the snowstorm, holding her ingot, had been crying. She was in her heart, and she might be in a lot of pain. Unfortunately, she couldn't see this little girl, and she couldn't feel this pain. Until now, she was able to gradually see her, and also because she saw her, she felt that she no longer felt pain.

**************

"...No problem, it's not an illness, but it's also an illness. The mood is depressed, the qi and blood are a little chaotic, there is something on my mind, I can't get it out of my heart. These days, sleep and diet are probably a bit affected, but looking at the physical condition, it's still good, and the time is not too long. Just prescribe some medicine, and drinking it is just deceiving her... Her personality should have been more lively before, right?"

Under the eaves, golden light sprinkled down. The middle-aged doctor carrying the medicine box said this. After Ning Yi heard it, he looked back at the room, then nodded: "Yes, more lively... Really nothing?"

"Such heart disease is not a big deal, but to say it is small, some are actually not small. Some women live in deep mansions, their moods are depressed, and they can't be resolved. In the long run, they will only live for ten or eight years." The middle-aged doctor gossiped for a while, then shook his head with a smile, "But I see that this girl shouldn't have this kind of thing. If you find the root cause and enlighten her, she will naturally get better if she eats well and sleeps well... I will have someone send the prescription later, I'll take my leave first."

"This is the consultation fee... Thank you. Take care." Ning Yi took out the silver from his sleeve, then cupped his hands and watched the doctor leave. He stood under the eaves and looked at the woman sleeping on the bed in the room. For a moment, he raised his head, took a breath, and then exhaled it slowly. He stepped towards the inside.

"Really..."

**************

When she woke up, she realized that she had had that long dream. Opening her eyes, bright sunlight shone on the door, and particles of light swirled in the air. The window on the other side was also open, and the wind blew in, a cool and bright feeling, stirring the books and papers, making a rustling sound.

Then she realized that she was sleeping on Ning Yi's bed in the room. There seemed to be a wet towel on her forehead, a slightly cool feeling, very comfortable, but the place where she had hit it before still had some pain, I'm afraid she had a bump.

Turning her head, Ning Yi was sitting at the table sorting out his manuscripts. Jin'er recalled what had happened to mess up the other party's manuscript, a little guilty, so she did not dare to move, quietly closing her eyes, pretending that she did not wake up.

It was not purely because of the manuscripts that she felt unable to face him. Since this was the case, she better buried her head in the sand and pretended all was well in the world...

She thought in her heart.

************

The new title is more appropriate, the previous title of "Love" should be regarded as the end of the upper and lower parts...

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