Chapter 186: 186 - it’s ours
186
~Lisa’s POV
"Lisa," Damon said slowly, his voice softer than before, "do you think... we should go and get the baby’s things?"
I blinked at him through the blur of my tears. For a second, I didn’t even understand what he meant. My chest was heavy, my throat sore, but I knew he was only saying it to pull me away from my crying.
"The baby’s things?" I repeated, my voice breaking.
"Yes." He nodded, lips curving faintly, almost like he was trying to hide a smile. "Clothes. Blankets. A cradle. All of it."
For a moment, I just stared at him, my breath caught in my chest. Was this real? Was he truly asking me that?
Finally, I raised both my eyebrows, letting the sarcasm drip from my voice. "And we could just... get anything we want, is that it? After all, the baby belongs to you and your brothers. The almighty alphas."
Damon chuckled, shaking his head slowly. The sound was low, deep, almost like he was amused, and yet I could tell he wasn’t laughing at me. "You always know how to sting, don’t you?" he murmured.
"It’s the truth," I snapped back, folding my arms tightly across my chest, hugging myself. "Whatever you choose will be law. My opinion hardly matters."
The words stung as they left me, because they weren’t just words, they were my reality. I was trapped between them, the three of them, my voice always smaller, always drowned by theirs. My heart twisted with both anger and helplessness.
Damon’s eyes softened then, studying me, as though my bitterness didn’t scare him away but drew him closer. "That’s where you’re wrong," he said quietly. "Because I don’t want to force things on you. Not for this. I want you to pick. What you like. What feels right. For our baby."
My heart skipped. I stared at him, confused, wondering if I had heard him right. "You’d want me... to pick what I like?"
"Yes." Damon leaned forward slightly, his eyes searching mine. "You know what would suit best. What would bring comfort. I don’t. I wouldn’t want to put something in your hands that feels wrong. This is yours to decide."
A smile tugged at my lips before I could stop it. "So you’re saying I can do that? Truly?"
He nodded firmly. "Yes. Tomorrow, we’ll go. We’ll leave early."
I let out a small laugh, shaking my head. "You surprised me, Damon. I never thought I’d see the day when one of you would let me decide something on my own."
"Don’t push your luck," he teased, though his voice was light. "I said baby things, not the affairs of the pack."
"Baby things are more important than the affairs of the pack," I said boldly, and he only laughed again.
That night I lay awake longer than usual, staring at the ceiling. My chest felt lighter. I imagined small clothes folded neatly, a soft cradle, blankets warm enough to protect new skin. For once, I felt included. I felt... like a mother.
The next morning came far too quickly. I helped myself into a fresh gown, brushing out my hair, fastening my cloak for the day’s outing. My heart was quick, beating with both nerves and excitement.
I told myself Damon would be waiting.
When I stepped out, the corridors smelled faintly of smoke and pine resin. The palace was awake, voices echoing from distant halls. My heart beat quickly as I walked straight toward Damon’s chamber, rehearsing in my mind what I might say to him. I was nervous but also... excited.
Today would be different. Today, I would choose something for myself, something for my child. Damon had promised me that last night. For once, I would not be forced or pushed aside.
But when the door opened, everything inside me froze.
It wasn’t just Damon.
Kael was there, fastening the buckle of his belt with his usual sharp, confident movements. Rowan stood by the window, already cloaked, his gloved fingers adjusting the leather strap across his chest. And Damon, yes, Damon was there too, but his eyes darted toward me with something that looked almost... guilty.
My throat went dry. "What... what is this?" My voice cracked, weak, like it was being dragged out of me.
Kael turned first. His smirk was lazy, dangerous, the kind of smile that always made me feel small, like a rabbit trapped under a wolf’s gaze. "Ah, Lisa," he drawled, "just in time. We were wondering when you’d be ready."
My heart stumbled in my chest. I blinked, staring from one face to the other, my stomach twisting until it felt like I’d swallowed stones. Damon avoided my eyes, looking almost... guilty. That hurt more than Kael’s sharp smirk.
"We?" I repeated, my voice low, cracking as the word clawed its way out of me. I swallowed hard, forcing the rest out. "You’re... going?"
Rowan finally moved. He had been still as stone, standing by the window with the early light brushing across his cloak, but now his gaze lifted and met mine. His brow arched slightly, cool and controlled. His voice was calm but it cut like glass.
"Of course," he said, as if it were obvious. As if I were the foolish one for even asking. "Why wouldn’t we?"
The silence after that pressed against my ears, heavy, suffocating.
Then Rowan added, each word deliberate, "The baby belongs to all of us. Did you think Damon would take you alone?
The words struck like a blade. My breath caught in my chest, and for a moment I could only stare at him. "I..." My voice faltered. "I thought..."
Damon took a small step forward, but he didn’t speak right away. His jaw was tight, his eyes heavy with something I couldn’t name, guilt, regret, duty. Perhaps all of it at once.
I turned back to him sharply, my voice shaking but louder now. "Tell me this isn’t what it looks like, Damon. Tell me."
He hesitated. I saw it in the way his lips pressed together, in the way he didn’t meet my eyes right away. Finally, he exhaled, low and heavy. "Lisa..."
"Tell me!" My hands curled into fists, nails biting into my palms.
"They wanted to come," Damon admitted, his tone softer than theirs, but no less painful. "They insisted. And... they’re right. The child isn’t only mine. It’s ours."
The ground seemed to tilt under me. I felt foolish. Stupid. For daring to believe that I might be granted something of my own. My chest burned with humiliation.
Kael chuckled low, watching my expression. "Poor Lisa," he said smoothly, tugging his gloves tighter. "Did you really think Damon would keep something like this from us? Foolish girl. You should know better by now."