Chapter 176: It’s Not A Sin To Be Happy.
[SHORT FLASHBACK]
"And what if I do?"
"Then... there’s nothing else I can do but let you go."
The lights from the television flashed on the young Lola’s face as she watched a drama. However, even with the touching scene, she couldn’t find herself immersed in it.
Slowly, she looked back. Her eyes landed on the sick Loren, already asleep on the bed. Lola pursed her lips and let out a shallow breath, getting up to tuck her mother in and ensure she was in the right position. After that, Lola sat in front of the television again to finish the movie.
It had always been like this, where she would watch a movie she had always wanted to watch with her mother. However, with Loren’s condition, she would usually fall asleep just when the movie began. Lola couldn’t blame her mother, though. Her mother was ill.
So, even if Loren nodded off, she would still watch and call it a family movie night.
Perhaps it was because of that that it had become Lola’s habit.
On days she felt sad, she would play a movie and gobble up an entire bucket of ice cream while sniffling, muffling her cries with ice cream. On days she was bored, she would watch a movie. And on good days, she would play something, set up a small table in front of the television, and eat all by herself while watching alone.
It had always been like that, and for the longest time, Lola was fine with it.
*****
[PRESENT TIME]
But tonight, it felt like every single memory of her sitting in front of the television, crying, laughing, getting inspired by the story, or simply reliving those memories with her mother seemed to shatter because... it all felt... so lonely.
"It’s not going to be the last."
Lola’s lips quivered while staring back at Atlas. She bit her lip, trying to smile, but it only faltered. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed the tension building there.
His words sounded like a promise—a promise she didn’t want to hold on to. Because in all of her life, promises were always broken.
"I’m... I’m going to sleep," she cleared her throat and quickly lay beside Second. She peeked at Atlas, whose hand was still in the air where he had been stroking her cheek previously. "Good night, Atlas."
A forced smile appeared on her face as she turned to the other side until her back was facing him. As for Atlas, he retrieved his hand and gazed at her back.
"Lola," he called, but she didn’t move. He knew she was listening, though. A shallow breath escaped him as he said very quietly, "It’s not a sin to be happy."
Lola, who was lying on her side, pursed her lips. Her eyes softened as a bitter smile crept onto her face. She still didn’t answer, feeling his movements despite having the twins between them. For the next few minutes, there was only silence and the quiet sound from the television that filled the room.
Lola remained lying on her side while Atlas lay on his back, staring at the ceiling.
"Atlas," she called finally, earning a hum from him. A short smile danced on her lips as her eyes softened, closing them ever so slowly. "Thank you for tonight."
Atlas turned his head, looking at her back over the twins. "Good night, Lola."
She didn’t answer, but her lips curled up into a smile with her eyes already shut.
Good night, Atlas. I’ll see you tomorrow.
*****
Family. What a nice thing to have.
Family, for Lola, was... slightly complicated. Not just that, but friendship—relationships. Most were transactional. And for a long time, she had accepted that and had come to terms with it. But the second she set foot in Novera, her life had been spiraling out of control.
And it all started with, "Mommy."
Since then, it was like a domino effect.
Who would have thought that the "scam" she thought she had willingly fallen for would lead to breaking a lot of things she had come to believe and accept? That stepping foot in Novera after leaving it broken and defeated years earlier would be different? But not the way she expected it to change.
These days, though... Lola felt... secure, reassured—safer than she had ever felt in her lifetime.
And in its own twisted way, it also scared her at the same time. That one day, she would find herself too complacent and all of this would just disappear. Just like how all the good things in her life disappeared without warning.
"Wow... really, how do you live these days?"
Lola snapped out of her thoughts at Silo’s voice. Turning her head to the seat in the van, her eyes landed on Silo.
"Lola, are you sure there’s nothing wrong?" Silo asked worriedly. "I’m getting really worried now. You’re always deep in thought nowadays or just zoning out."
"I’m not zoning out."
"Not zoning out?" His face twisted. "If not, then tell me what I said just now."
"..."
"See?!" He scoffed. "Lola, if there’s something wrong, just tell me! Why am I even here if you’re not going to tell me if there’s something I should worry about?"
"It’s not like that, Silo." She clicked her tongue. "I’m okay. I’m just... thinking about something."
"Something like...?"
Lola pursed her lips, studying Silo’s face. His eyes were mixed with worry and curiosity, and she couldn’t blame him. This person was a good person.
A shallow breath escaped Lola as she shrugged, leaning in her seat as she pondered for a second. After another few seconds, she shot him a look.
"Silo..." she hummed, twirling her frizzy wig while pouting. Seeing her sport a cute expression, his face twisted.
"Please stop doing that," he blurted out, shaking his head. "It doesn’t fit with that look."
Lola chuckled and smacked her lips. "I think... I’m just really, really, really pretty, Silo. Everyone just likes me, even the most successful men out there."
"..." Silo deadpanned. "Lola, if you don’t want to tell me, just say so. You don’t have to take me off guard like that."
"What?" she frowned, narrowing her eyes at him. "The hell? You don’t agree that I’m actually pretty?"
"It’s not like that," he clicked his tongue. "Just — never mind. Anyway, aren’t you getting off? We’ve been here for the past five minutes."
"Oh?" she perked up, catching the residence of the chairman of the Lancaster family. She grinned and turned to Silo. "I’m leaving. See you later!"
Having said that, Lola energetically jumped out of the van as if she hadn’t just been daydreaming earlier. Silo shook his head, watching her figure skip toward the residence.
Slowly, Silo narrowed his eyes. "Now I’m sure of it," he muttered. "She’s hiding something from me."
Lola hiding some things from him wasn’t new. However, Silo was growing worried because of how she had been out of it. That was rare. Lola used to be so focused on everything. He was just worried that... Lola might have been thinking of something dangerous. Like harming herself.
As the van started moving, Silo tapped on the driver’s seat. "I forgot something at her place. Let’s go there first."
Little did Silo know, Lola’s not-so-top-secret was not like what he thought it was. Because what awaited him was something that would give him the shock of a lifetime.