Chapter 181: Chapter 169: I Will Always Keep It Secret
Song Wei finished reading the words Wen Wan wrote on the rice paper and quickly looked away. He picked up a handkerchief from the bedside and gently wiped the sweat from her forehead. His voice was steady, reassuring her, "No worries, Wanwan. Stay home and rest well during your pregnancy. I’ll go for the exam by myself, and if I’m fortunate enough to pass and become an Advanced Scholar, I’ll come back for you then."
As Song Wei spoke, he placed the handkerchief aside, gently encircled her waist with his arm, and rested his large, firm hand on her back, soothingly rubbing his chin on the top of her hair.
Wen Wan leaned her cheek against the man’s chest, her delicate brows slightly furrowed.
She felt uneasy. Once separated from her, what if her husband couldn’t even get into the examination hall?
Song Wei sensed her worries and spoke softly, "I’ll be as careful as I can."
In the twenty years before they married, without her as his ’protective charm,’ he had encountered the most challenging and perilous situations.
This time, she couldn’t accompany him to Beijing, and he might face unforeseen disasters, but it shouldn’t be a matter of life or death.
The child was someone Wen Wan protected at the cost of never speaking again, and at such times, Song Wei, whether as a biological father or as a husband, should consider it.
As long as he ensured the child’s safety, the uncertainties surrounding the examination in Beijing wouldn’t affect his mindset much.
Failing the exam was within expectations.
If he succeeded, he would consider it a surprise gift from heaven.
Wen Wan unconsciously touched her slightly protruding belly.
She was small-framed, even though she started to look fuller due to pregnancy, she remained slender overall. Wearing slightly loose clothing, it was completely unnoticeable that she was more than five months pregnant.
Her eyes drooped as she fell into deep thought.
The last time it was a choice between her voice and child, she didn’t hesitate, directly choosing to save the child.
But this time, to protect the child, she could only stay in Ningzhou.
Meaning, her husband was very likely to face danger because of this.
If something happened to him, what would she do? What would the baby do?
The more she thought about it, the more conflicted Wen Wan felt.
In the deep cold of winter night, the window could not block the infiltration of chilly wind.
Seeing that she had lost sleep, Song Wei turned to her, pulling the thick quilt over her, leaving only her head exposed, and wrapped her, quilt and all, into his embrace.
Wen Wan pondered for a long time, until dawn, without finding any useful strategy.
Her eyelids finally could not hold up, and she leaned against Song Wei and fell asleep.
Song Wei laid her down on her side, tucked the quilt around her, and then quietly got up to wash.
It had snowed all night, and outside everything was covered in white, appearing somewhat unreal.
Song Wei opened the door and found Yuanbao already squatting in the courtyard building a snowman.
Upon hearing the noise, the little guy turned around and called out with a wide grin, "Dad."
Song Wei asked him, "Why not sleep a bit more?"
Yuanbao pointed at the half-built snowman, "The freshly fallen snow hasn’t been tarnished. Only then does the snowman look pure and beautiful."
Song Wei touched his icy little hand, "Not cold?"
Yuanbao withdrew his hand, blew on it twice, rubbed it, and despite the rosy chill on his little face, a smile hung there, "Mom likes snowmen, so I’ll build it first and then go inside for warmth."
As he spoke, Yuanbao seemed to recall something and asked Song Wei, "Dad, are you leaving right after the new year?"
Song Wei responded, "Mhmm, after the new year, I’ll go with Uncle Xie. Your mom will stay here."
Yuanbao appeared to hesitate, "Why isn’t Mom going with you?"
"She’s pregnant and can’t travel vigorously. Going to the Capital is too far, it’s risky."
"Then take me along!" Yuanbao laughed, "I’ll ask for leave from my teacher, saying I’m accompanying Dad to the Capital for the exam, the teacher won’t disagree."
Even if the teacher agreed, Song Wei couldn’t approve, "Not attending class?"
Yuanbao said, "You managed to learn three years of the Imperial College curriculum in a single year, why wouldn’t I? Besides, it’s the New Year holiday now, I won’t play, starting today, I’ll study diligently, and if there’s something I don’t understand, I’ll ask Dad. You’re Mr. Scholar, more knowledgeable than the teachers. Then, I’ll go to the town school to take a preliminary exam before you leave, won’t that work?"
Song Wei reached over to adjust his woolen hat, "Being so industrious at such a young age would wear you out physically. I don’t think it’s wise."
Yuanbao pursed his lips, eyes carrying a hint of grievance, "Dad, don’t you want me to go with you?"
Song Wei nodded, "You staying here means you can often take care of your mom. Her pregnancy is advanced, and moving around will be inconvenient."
Yuanbao lowered his head, kneading the snowball with both hands, brows knitted together in thought.
He wanted to follow Song Wei to Beijing but thought his father’s words made sense. He couldn’t just leave his mom unattended.
Looking at the little guy crouching in the snow, Song Wei spoke gently, "It’s cold outside, let’s go inside."
Yuanbao responded with an "Oh," stood up, dusted off his trousers, and walked towards the main room, crunching through the snow.
Granny Song had already gotten up, and the brazier in the main room was filled with new coals.
Song Wei’s gaze fell on the small back of Song Yuanbao.
It wasn’t that he was unwilling to take Yuanbao to Beijing, but without Wanwan, he couldn’t even protect himself and didn’t dare to take this risk easily.
Xie Zheng had no choice but to go, but there was no need for Yuanbao to go.
For breakfast, Granny Song steamed buns and cooked pumpkin porridge, first served a bowl to send Song Wei to Wen Wan.
Song Wei took the bowl, but didn’t rush to leave; he talked about Wen Wan not going to Beijing.
Granny Song paused her motion of lifting the lid and taking the buns, and looked up at him, "If your wife isn’t going, what are you going to do?"
Through the steam, Song Wei’s expression showed no fluctuation, "Try to avoid it!"
Granny Song was worried.
If it could be avoided, Third Son wouldn’t have suffered those previous years.
Now, if you want a son, you’ll lose a grandson; if you want a grandson, the son is most likely to have trouble on the way to Beijing.
Granny Song couldn’t eat a bite of breakfast, set the table for Song Wei and his father to eat, and went straight to the west room to find Wen Wan.
Wen Wan was sitting at the table, sipping porridge, and put down the spoon when she saw her mother-in-law coming.
Granny Song was too anxious to sit still and stood talking to her directly, "Wan Niang, can’t you accompany Third Son to Beijing?"
No point explaining anything; the mother-in-law wouldn’t understand, so Wen Wan had to shake her head.
There’s really no way. If she went, she’d lose the baby.
If she hadn’t wanted the child, she wouldn’t have sacrificed her chance to speak to keep it in the first place.
Facing the choice once again, she resolutely chose the child, not that she didn’t care about her husband, but she felt it was too cruel for the baby to never see the outside world.
The initial decision to keep it was hers, so if something changed and she abandoned it, she’d worry the baby would question her even after death.
Seeing Wen Wan’s heavy expression, Granny Song didn’t ask anything else.
——
After lunch, Father Wen brought Mrs. Zhou and Wen Shun, a family of three, to deliver New Year gifts.
Their family had a shop in the county, moved there long ago, and rarely returned. Last time for Song Wei’s scholar celebration banquet, Father Wen was out for supplies and Mrs. Zhou couldn’t leave either, so they asked the Wen Laojia to help with the gifting.
Wen Wan wanted to visit her parents after returning, but was told that her father had gone to set up shop in the county.
She felt relieved then, thinking her father had finally understood and pawned the jewelry she’d given him for business capital.
Now with the whole family sitting in the Song family’s living room, Wen Wan asked Father Wen, and the response was as she expected—that he had pawned her jewelry to set up the shop.
Before Fanghua left Ningzhou, she warned him not to mention their existence to Wen Wan.
Actually, Father Wen was a bit selfish; having raised Wan Niang himself, he couldn’t bear the thought of her finding her biological parents and leaving him aside.
Being a boss, Mrs. Zhou carried herself differently than before, speaking without her past harshness, and concerned for Wen Wan, asking how far along she was, if she felt unwell, advising on what to eat or avoid.
Regardless of sincerity or falsehood, Wen Wan had no reason to offend, so she nodded and agreed with a smile.
Wen Shun was outside playing in the snow with Song Yuanbao.
Song Wei glanced at the two little ones outside and asked casually.
Father Wen said Wen Shun wasn’t suited for reading but could do business; he’d been taking him along for supplies lately, and he showed an interest in business.
Song Wei nodded, "If he can’t study, learning business is good; better than knowing nothing."
Before leaving, Father Wen asked Wen Wan, "Do you miss your mother?"
Wen Wan hesitated and nodded.
Perhaps due to her young age, she couldn’t recall any memories from before age three—not even her biological mother’s appearance.
All her memories seemed to start from when she realized her voice was gone.
Even so, despite not recalling her mother’s face, Wen Wan still missed her.
With Father Wen bringing it up, she wanted to visit Mrs. Lu’s grave to pay her respects.
Song Wei was uneasy and offered to accompany her.
Wen Wan didn’t refuse.
While she went to the inner room to change clothes, Father Wen pulled Song Wei aside and spoke quietly, "I saw Wan Niang’s birth mother a few months ago."
Song Wei was surprised, "Did Aunt Lu come to Ningzhou?"
Father Wen nodded, "I remarried, she did too; we’re square. Didn’t ask, but she should have married well, now living in the Capital. Third Son, I’m telling you this to remind you, if you happen to meet her one day, never reveal anything in front of Wan Niang. Some truths I fear she can’t bear."
Song Wei sensed complexity in the matter but had no intention to ask further, simply nodded, "Rest assured, father-in-law, I will keep it secret."