She lacked a sense of security.
He thought he had done well enough, but as Song Beiting had said, he had completely disregarded her feelings. He had thrown a tantrum, and though it was out of deep care, he was still wrong.
He had plunged the sharp blade of hurt into her chest.
Shattering her sensitive heart.
"He doesn't want me anymore..."
His heart ached when he heard those words! He wished he could kill himself.
She was a saintly, noble goddess who looked down on everything, but before him, she was the most vulnerable of women.
Because of love, she was vulnerable.
Hearing no reply from him, Ling Yao looked up nervously.
She saw the man's reddened eyes, filled with regret.
"Don't say sorry. You did nothing wrong; it was me." Xiao Shan cherished her face, holding it in his hands. "Never again. I will never be harsh with you again, never make you sad again. Please, don't be so sensible in front of me, alright? Please, Xue Niang?"
"...Alright." Her gaze was a little dazed.
He called her Xue Niang, not Feng Ling Yao.
They were not a general and a goddess, but simply a village man and a village woman.
Xiao Shan didn't know how to express the overwhelming emotion that was almost spilling from his chest. He couldn't utter flowery words, nor could he be delicately tender as women adored. He could only, as always, kiss her and soothe her wounded heart.
Ling Yao endured his affection, gradually wrapping her arms around his neck.
They were inseparable.
After a long while, Xiao Shan held her in his arms with utmost tenderness.
"It was my fault. I was harsh with you without understanding the situation last time, and then I angered you by opening the divine altar this time. If it were the hunter Xiao Shan of the past, I wouldn't be so impulsive and reckless. Coming to the capital and holding power has probably made me impatient."
Ling Yao quickly shook her head. "No, it was me who didn't explain clearly. I know you were just too worried about me. I'll explain things clearly to you from now on before acting."
It wasn't that. There were too many people in the capital; it had affected him.
His parents had died early, and he was unburdened, accustomed to being alone. But she was different; she had responsibilities and ties that she couldn't let go of.
When those people started occupying her thoughts, he panicked.
In truth, he was the same as her, with a touch of pathological obsession.
The difference was that he could suppress it and regulate himself, making him appear no different from ordinary people.
"Silly girl." Xiao Shan flicked her nose. "Men shouldn't be spoiled. They should be hit when they deserve it and scolded when they deserve it. That way, I know when I've made a mistake."
"You're not my servant," Ling Yao mumbled softly. "Besides, you didn't do anything wrong."
"Don't be so well-behaved; it makes people want to bully you."
"What's wrong with being a servant? Just treat me as the hunter from Bozi Village. Hit me with a rolling pin. Don't think about giving the Great General face. This is between us as husband and wife. If anyone dares to say a word, I'll deal with them."
After returning to the capital, she had relied on him, depended on him, and elevated him too high. In fact, he thought he hadn't changed, but his demeanor had. How could she, who was always so sensitive, not notice it!
He now craved her to order him around, to let her dote on him, love him, and even scold and hit him, free of constraints, doing as she pleased.
"I've figured it out. You are someone else's goddess, but you are also my woman. No matter how capable you are, you are the woman I hold in my palm and need to cherish with all my heart. From now on, I will respect you, and I will love you."
Xiao Shan was a man of integrity, decisive, and straightforward. The words he spoke today were not sweet nothings, but more like a promise.
Yet, they were more touching than any love confession.
Ling Yao remained silent for a long time, deeply moved by him.
It was clearly her problem, but he always felt he was wrong. What should she do?
"What, still upset?" Xiao Shan frowned. "I know I have many flaws. Tell me..."
"No." Ling Yao interrupted him eagerly, clear tears flowing from her large eyes. "You are not bad. It's my problem. I love you, I truly love you."
"But I... I don't know how to love..."
It seemed she always made him sad.
"Silly girl." Xiao Shan kissed her tears, his heart aching immensely.
"Hitting and scolding me is loving me. Taking good care of yourself is loving me. Sewing clothes, sharing intimacy, conceiving children – you have been loving me all along!"
Wuwu~
Ling Yao understood, truly understood.
Making herself happy was loving him, and making him happy was loving him.
"I know, A Shan, but I still want to love you a little more."
..............
Yu Liu and Yu Shan were punished for dereliction of duty and received eighty military strokes. If not for Ling Yao's sake, Xiao Shan would have likely executed them directly.
Qing He applied medicine to their wounds.
Yu Liu was ungrateful and sarcastically whispered, "I wouldn't dare trouble the Princess Yongfu."
Qing He remained silent and heavily applied the ointment to her buttocks.
Yu Liu couldn't move and was powerless to resist, thus allowing herself to be handled, her teeth gnashing in fury.
"Princess Yongfu, please come to Fengque Tower less often in the future. You're an eyesore."
"Whose eyesore?" Qing He said calmly.
"Stop pretending to be innocent when you know everything. The General's heart belongs only to the Princess. Go wherever you feel comfortable." Yu Liu spoke unceremoniously, but her weak body made her words feeble. "The Princess's disappearance this time is all because of you!"
Qing He's hand paused. She didn't say anything, turning to apply medicine to Yu Shan.
Yu Shan, being older, was always more composed than Yu Liu. After spending so much time together, she understood the Princess's temperament somewhat.
"Princess Yongfu, if there is a misunderstanding, please clarify it with the Princess as soon as possible. This servant can see that the Princess cares a great deal about the Princess."
Because she cared, she would be hurt.
She could see that Princess Yongfu also cared deeply for the Princess. They, master and servant, didn't seem like master and servant, but more like family. Sometimes, she even felt they were desperately compensating for each other.
Several times, she had seen Princess Yongfu staying up late, meticulously preparing medicinal recipes in the kitchen. She had secretly peeked and found them to be excellent formulas for nourishing the fetus and the mother.
She felt happy when the Princess was happy, but a little lost when she saw the General and the Princess together.
She couldn't possibly have any feelings for the General.
She had never even glanced at the General properly.
The Princess was the same. Whatever delicious food was sent from the imperial kitchen, whatever rare treasures the Emperor sent, whatever clothes the imperial household department custom-made, she would call the Princess to choose them together.
Between them, there was a bond of mutual reliance.
It was something she and Yu Liu could never compare to.
Qing He silently finished applying the medicine to Yu Shan and left with the medicine tray without saying anything.
"Hmph, what misunderstanding? She said it so clearly. She definitely wants to be the General's concubine," Yu Liu snorted.
"Don't talk nonsense. The Princess is not that kind of person."
"You can't judge a book by its cover. She suffered in the Turkic regions, and upon returning, seeing how well the General treated the Princess, her heart might have changed."
"If you talk nonsense again, be careful the General sends you back to Xianwang Sect for re-training."
Yu Liu fell silent.
She couldn't go back; she had to follow the Princess.