"You... what are you saying? You're the City God here? You're not kidding me, are you?"
Who is the City God?
That is an underworld deity who controls a region, a position comparable to a mayor in the mortal world. Their rank is not ordinary; they are practically an emperor of the underworld.
Although I haven't seen a real City God, I've been to many City God temples. The ones enshrined there are always adorned in fine silks and satins, holding a judge's brush and a register.
But looking at the one before me, he's not only in rags but also sallow and thin. He doesn't look like a City God at all. If he were the City God, I'd feel like the King of Ten Directions Ghosts.
Seeing my disdain, the skinny monkey became anxious, "How can you believe I'm the City God?"
"Where is your judge's brush?"
"Where is the register of life and death?"
"Where are your official robes and seal?"
The three of us, like actors in a play, each posed a question, and then in unison, we declared, "If you don't have them, you're fake? We can capture you and present you to the real City God to claim credit."
I didn't understand why he wanted us to prove he was the City God, but hearing our words, he became agitated.
"You... you just wait for me..."
As the skinny monkey finished speaking, he darted inside and slammed the door shut, as if expressing his displeasure.
Watching the skinny monkey go inside, I frowned and said uncertainly, "Brother Zhang, do you think he's telling the truth or lying? Could he actually be the City God?"
Before Zhang Dabiao could reply, Xu Yi interjected, "What a joke, what do you think a City God is? Some common cabbage by the roadside that you can see whenever you want?"
Just as I was thinking how to refute him, Zhang Dabiao suddenly spoke, "Shut up, what time is it to be bickering here?"
As soon as Zhang Dabiao finished speaking, the dilapidated door opened from within.
The skinny monkey, having changed his clothes, strode out with a swagger, his steps broad and unhurried.
He was clad in a python-patterned golden robe, with a tiger-head jade belt hanging from his waist. In his right hand, he held a judge's brush, and in his left, a City God's register. He looked at us with an imposing air.
The corner of my mouth twitched involuntarily, "This is actually the City God, isn't it? This can't be a joke."
Thinking about how, as a child, I had playfully drawn a clown face on the City God statue at the east end of the village, resulting in a severe spanking from my master, I still felt a bit guilty. This was why I didn't believe him when he claimed to be the City God. It was a painful lesson that brought tears to my eyes.
Zhang Dabiao's expression was solemn, "He's probably not fake. Impersonating a City God is a crime punishable by being sent to the eighteen levels of hell, never to be reincarnated. I don't think anyone would do something so foolish."
Hearing Zhang Dabiao's words, my head swam. At the same time, I secretly rejoiced that I hadn't spoken disrespectfully earlier. Otherwise, the precedent set by Xu Yi's little tiger on his shoulder teaching me a lesson would likely repeat itself.
"Damn it, what's going on?"
When I looked at Xu Yi, I saw his shoulders constantly twitching, and he was covering his mouth, looking like he wanted to laugh but dared not. Even the little tiger on his shoulder was grinning, looking as if it were laughing.
This made me feel a sense of doubt. Had this guy discovered something amiss?
A person is judged by their clothes, and a horse by its saddle. The skinny monkey, now in a different attire, stood before us with newfound confidence, looking up at the sky at a forty-five-degree angle, and proudly declared, "Now you believe, don't you? I am the City God of this City God City..."
*Pfft—*
Xu Yi couldn't help but let out a suppressed chuckle.
This caused the confident skinny monkey's face to darken immediately. He glared fiercely at Xu Yi, "What are you laughing at, boy? Not kneeling when you see me, this Lord, is already a grave offense. In the past, I would have punished you for disrespect..."
"Haha..."
"You're really killing me, haha..."
Xu Yi bent over like a "shrimp," holding his stomach with both hands, his shoulders shaking like a sieve. I reckoned if they attached a foot pedal to him, he could serve as a vibrator for weight loss.
I glanced at the skinny monkey. His entire face had turned dark, his mouth twitching incessantly, as if he wanted to bite Xu Yi at any moment.
I nudged Xu Yi, "That's enough. Don't forget, there's always someone better. If you're mistaken, you'll be in big trouble."
Xu Yi stopped laughing and pointed to his own nose, chuckling, "Me, mistaken? If I can mistake these paper-made python robes, judge's brush, and register of life and death, then I, a paper craftsman, shouldn't be in this profession. Alright, stop talking, let me laugh a bit longer. Haha..."
No way?
Could this skinny monkey actually dare to impersonate the City God? He's too bold!
I shifted my gaze to the skinny monkey. At the same time, I drew out my Yin Ironwood ruler, and Zhang Dabiao also gripped his mountain-splitting saber. If the skinny monkey before us couldn't provide a reasonable explanation, then we wouldn't be blamed for silencing him.
Not to mention deceiving us, the mere fact that he knew we were living beings meant we couldn't let him leave, or we'd be torn to shreds by all the ghosts in this city.
The skinny monkey's face first turned pale, then red as a monkey's backside as he looked at Xu Yi, "Miscalculation. I didn't expect there to be a successor to the paper-crafting lineage that has been missing for so long. Damn it." With that, he tore his clothes apart, and even threw the judge's brush and the register of life and death onto the ground.
As these items hit the ground, they turned into paper ash.
"Brother Zhang, it looks like we'll have to silence him today. But before that, let's do some interrogation." With that, I began to form the Heavenly Speed Seal, preparing to deal with the skinny monkey.
Seeing that we were serious, the skinny monkey's face turned from red to black, and finally, he gritted his teeth as if he had made a decision.
"What if I can prove I'm the City God?"
I raised an eyebrow, "Whether you're the City God or not, what does it matter to me? We just want to ask a few questions. As for who you are, we're not interested."
I kicked Xu Yi, who was still laughing uncontrollably, "If you don't want your boss Fang to die soon, hurry up and act. In a few more hours, dawn will break, and none of us will be able to leave."
Upon mentioning Fang Huixin, Xu Yi immediately stopped laughing and patted the little tiger on his shoulder, "Later, I'll give you something good to eat. See that old ghost? It'll be your meal."
This time, the skinny monkey was truly flustered. Seeing that we were about to make a move, he said urgently, "I am truly the City God. I have the City God's seal as proof, and I also know why you've come. Without my help, you definitely won't be able to save those few living people."
I stopped in my tracks and looked at him seriously, "You know where they are? Tell us quickly, or we'll send you away right now..."
The skinny monkey seemed to have grasped our lifeline and said, "Heh heh... You can't save them without me. If you don't want them to die, you have to listen to me and help me with a favor first."
Damn it!
We're being blackmailed?
"What are you waiting for? Move and control him first."