Upon seeing Empress Zhou enter, Zhou Han immediately burst into wails.
"Sister, you must get justice for your brother! Someone is trying to trample on our Zhou family—"
*Bang!*
Seeing his shameless act, Zhu Youjian flung another object at him, his teacup from the desk. The spilled tea splashed all over Zhou Han's face.
Empress Zhou was a virtuous woman, upholding the ancestral teachings of Zhu Yuanzhang: descendants of the Zhu family were to marry for virtue, not beauty! Aware of her father and brother's dispositions, and seeing Zhu Youjian's fury, she knew a Zhou family member must have erred again without even needing to guess.
Ignoring Zhou Han, she walked to Li Shimin, curtsied slightly, and said, "Greetings, Ancestor Taizong. The Zhou family is lacking, causing you to witness a disgrace."
After receiving a nod from Li Shimin, she turned towards Zhu Youjian.
"Your Majesty, please calm your anger and do not harm your health."
Zhu Youjian pointed at Zhou Han and roared, "Ask your brother what he has done! Calm my anger? I wish to skin him!"
"Your Majesty, your humble servant did nothing much, just wished to invite that young lady to my residence for a chat—"
Hearing Zhou Han's sophistry, Zhu Youjian jumped over the imperial desk from his chair and slapped him across the face, then berated him.
"Nonsense! Molesting an honest woman in the street and calling it inviting her over? Do you take me for a fool?"
As the saying goes, familiarity breeds expertise. Zhu Youjian, who was treated like a grandson every day, had learned to solve problems with violence. His action amused Li Shimin, who gave him a thumbs-up.
"Kid who picks up lard, that slap was well-aimed! But next time, aim slightly higher, use the front half of your palm, and follow up with a backhand strike for balance."
*Slap!*
Zhu Youjian readily followed suit, landing a backhand slap. Zhou Han was stunned. After a moment, he came to his senses and shouted at Zhu Youjian,
"Your Majesty, we are relatives! You cannot favor outsiders! You hit me for these people?"
"Don't you forget, when you were still the Prince of Xin..."
"Silence!"
Empress Zhou, unable to bear it, blurted out a reprimand.
"Look at the messes you've made over the years! Can't you bring some honor to your sister?"
Just then, a portly old man entered the hall and bowed slightly to Zhu Youjian. "Your humble servant Zhou Kui, greets Your Majesty!"
Seeing the man's physique, Fang Er was taken aback. It was said that wealth could not buy a lean old age, and considering this man's age and plumpness, how had he lived this long?
After bowing, Zhou Kui scanned the people in the hall, his gaze lingering on his son. The clear ten finger marks on Zhou Han's face enraged him. He immediately turned to Empress Zhou and demanded, "Feng'er! Which bastard hit your brother's face!"
Everyone: !!!
"Damn, this old man is truly fierce!"
Hearing this, Zhu Youjian's face turned green and then purple, barely refraining from kicking him. Suppressing his anger, he gritted his teeth and said, "It was I who hit him!"
Zhou Kui was also shameless. He walked up to his son and delivered two slaps. After hitting him, he fawned over Zhu Youjian with a smile,
"I wondered who hit this scoundrel, it turns out it was Your Majesty himself! If you had just said the word, I could have handled it for you. Is this enough? If not, I'll continue slapping him!"
"Empress, tell the Grand Tutor properly about the messes Zhou Han has been up to!"
Fearing he couldn't control his temper and would beat his father-in-law in public, Zhu Youjian passed the task to his wife. Even if it were a capital offense, he could not personally administer the punishment, for that would be filial impiety, a blemish for an emperor.
Empress Zhou recounted the entire incident. Zhou Kui's beard quivered with rage, though it was unclear if he was genuinely angry or merely feigning it. He walked to Zhou Han and kicked him.
*Bang~~*
"Ouch~~"
Zhou Han was kicked to the ground. Zhou Kui stepped forward, grabbed his son's collar, and dragged him towards the hall's exit, not forgetting to offer an explanation.
"Your Majesty, my unfilial son has broken the law. I will take him back to teach him a lesson! Rest assured, I will ensure he dares not offend again!"
Zhu Youjian could no longer hold back. He slammed his palm on the imperial desk and roared at Zhou Kui's retreating figure,
"Come back here! When did I permit you and your son to leave?"
Zhou Kui shivered, dropped his son on the ground, then turned and knelt in the hall. His expression shifted like the weather in June, from fawning to tearful in an instant.
"Your Majesty, you cannot cut off the Zhou family's lineage! Feng'er's mother passed away early. You only have this one elder brother. If you truly punish him, the Zhou family will be extinguished!"
*Wuwuwuwu~~~*
Fang Er found it all quite amusing. "Good heavens, the Ming dynasty surely owes this old man a little golden statue!"
As Zhou Kui finished speaking, Chonglou and the small banners beside him began to whisper.
"Hey? If this Commander remembers correctly, the Grand Tutor took his seventeenth concubine last month, didn't he? With so many concubines, has none of them borne him a son or a daughter?"
"Heh heh heh, Commander, you might not know, but one son or daughter is not enough. According to what this subordinate heard, five sons and eight daughters!" the small banner said, gesturing with his hands.
"Shush, speak quieter, lest the Emperor hears!"
The voices of these two men were so loud that the guards outside the hall could probably hear them. And they wanted them to be quieter?
*Slap!*
Zhu Youjian slapped the table in anger, pointing at Zhou Kui, and said, "Listen! Listen!"
"Seventeen concubines! I truly didn't expect the Grand Tutor's body to be so robust!"
"Your Majesty, why waste words on him!"
Fang Er slowly stood up and beckoned to Chonglou, "You, take your brothers and a metal detector to the Grand Tutor's residence for a sweep."
Zhou Kui rarely entered the palace. Although he had heard a little about the recent events in the capital, he hadn't taken them to heart. In his view, he was the Grand Tutor, the father of the current Empress; who could do anything to him?
Therefore, he immediately pointed at Fang Er and roared, "Who are you! When has it been your place to speak before the Emperor?"
"Who I am, you are not qualified to know!" Fang Er simply sneered, then looked at Chonglou, "Why aren't you going yet!"
Chonglou, without seeking Zhu Youjian's permission, led two small banners under his command out of the Hall of Supreme Harmony. This decisive action finally made Zhou Kui feel something was amiss. He turned to Empress Zhou and asked, "Feng'er, who is that?"