Fang Er curiously took the pill in his hand and even sniffed it carefully.
Ugh!
What a foul smell!
It almost made him vomit.
Hahahaha!
Yuan Tiangang laughed heartily and then said.
This pill is called the Vomit Inducing Pill, specifically for detoxification.
It is made from the feces of three birds and five beasts, mixed with virgin boy's urine and celestial dew, and refined over three days and three nights!
Fang Er truly vomited this time!
He vomited a torrent.
Li Shimin was shocked!
Exhausted from vomiting, Fang Er found a pillar to lean against and sat on the ground.
Completely bewildered!
Are you the legendary behind-the-scenes poop-cooking official?
This guy's thought process is truly bizarre!
To actually refine pills with those things mixed together!
What about your pill furnace?
Even more baffling things were yet to come.
Yuan Tiangang then reached into his robes and pulled out another bottle, walking up to Li Shimin.
Your Majesty, this bottle is specially refined for you by this old Taoist, it can prolong life!
As soon as he finished speaking, Li Er snatched it up, thinking it was good stuff!
Even if it couldn't grant immortality, prolonging life was still beneficial.
Before he could even express his thanks.
Yuan Tiangang continued.
Your Majesty, this pill is extraordinary, it was refined in the same furnace as the Vomit Inducing Pill! One furnace, two pills, truly not an easy feat!
Li Shimin's face turned black, as dark as the bottom of a pot.
He raised his hand and threw the bottle, which he had already removed the stopper from and brought to his lips, outside the Liangji Hall!
This time, not to mention Fang Er, even Li Chunfeng, who was also a Taoist, was speechless.
This master of mine is beyond saving!
After throwing the bottle, Li Shimin sat back down at the imperial desk.
He said to Fang Er with a dejected tone.
Fang Anzhi, I have invited the person for you, whether you can keep him depends on your ability.
You two chat, I still have memorials to review.
With that, he picked up a memorial and began to read.
Damn it!
If this old Taoist had said it even a moment later, that pill would have been poured into my mouth!
Fang Er felt as if he had invited a wolf into his house.
This old fellow, is he going to cook poop on my estate?
Is my estate still safe?
Yuan Tiangang curiously approached Fang Er and squatted down.
Young friend, His Majesty means you have some wondrous arts?
Quickly let this old Daoist witness it!
Fang Er was conflicted about whether to bring this old fellow back.
After thinking about it, since the things were already brought, let him have a look, but not the person.
He then pointed to the box on the ground and said.
Help me get it, I'm too weak to stand up!
Yuan Tiangang smiled, walked over, and carried the wooden box.
Fang Er opened the wooden box.
He took out four large bottles and a plate from inside.
The bottles were all made of glazed glass, containing three different powders.
Two were white, one was yellow.
And there was a bottle of liquid.
Yuan Tiangang stared at the bottles and said.
Young friend is truly generous! To possess three identical glazed treasure bottles!
These must contain divine objects, right?
Fang Er rolled his eyes at him.
He poured the yellow powder onto the ground.
Yuan Tiangang was somewhat disbelieving: Is this sand?
Fang Er continued to pour something else, retorting at the same time: Otherwise?
Yuan Tiangang looked pained: No, young friend, no matter how rich you are, you shouldn't fill these treasure bottles with sand!
Then, sniffing the air, he asked uncertainly: What you're pouring now seems to be wine?
Fang Er: This is called alcohol!
Then, he mixed the sand with the alcohol, creating a small sand mound, with a fist-sized indentation left on top.
Under Yuan Tiangang's curious and conflicted gaze, he opened the other two bottles.
He mixed the white powders inside in proportion, then placed them into the sand pit.
He then took out his everlasting matches.
Strike~!
After the match was lit, he brought it close to the white powder.
Watching the powder ignite, Fang Er flicked his hand, extinguished the match, and put it away.
He said calmly.
Now, it's time to witness a miracle!
Then, a small black snake slowly emerged from the sand pile!
Yes.
It was the Pharaoh's Serpent.
Fang Er didn't understand chemistry at all; he learned this trick from some short videos in his previous life.
That small snake grew longer and longer!
Yuan Tiangang was astonished.
Li Chunfeng also rushed over.
Even Li Shimin, who was reading memorials over there, cast a sideways glance, his mouth agape as if he could swallow a hand grenade!
Fang Er felt his strength returning, and he stood up, leaning against the pillar.
He looked towards Li Shimin.
Sensing Fang Er's gaze, Li Shimin quickly shifted his attention back to the memorial in his hand.
Fang Er glanced at the memorial in his hand and said.
Your Majesty, you're holding your memorial upside down!
Li Shimin took a closer look and then looked incredibly embarrassed!
Then he heard Fang Er continue.
Your Majesty, you can keep these two sages. I shall take my leave!
With that, he left Liangji Hall without looking back.
Damn it!
Thinking of Yuan Tiangang's pitiable alchemy furnace, Fang Er's mouth twitched.
He exited Chengtian Gate.
He opened the pickup truck, got in, and asked the guarding imperial guards to start the engine.
Just as he was about to put it in gear and leave, he heard a thud from the back of the truck.
He quickly got out to check.
And there he saw the fawning Yuan Tiangang sitting in the truck bed.
Li Chunfeng stood behind him, looking at Fang Er with a ingratiating expression as he got out of the truck.
Marquis, can we go to your estate? I want to learn that snake transformation technique.
Fang Er was speechless.
He didn't want them, but they were sticking to him.
He opened the rear door of the truck: Fine, get in and sit. But first, a condition! No cooking poop at Fang Family Manor!
Yuan Tiangang said with a serious expression.
What do you mean cooking poop! That's called refining pills! A detoxification pill that can induce vomiting!
Young friend personally tested it!
The arts of Taoism and alchemy should not be desecrated!
Fang Er's face hardened, and he pointed to an empty spot nearby.
Then please be on your way!
With that, he got back into the car.
Whoosh, whoosh, two figures darted in from the back door.
Heh heh, no poop cooking, no poop cooking.
Yuan Tiangang said to Fang Er with a wide grin, his beard trembling.
So this guy is the one who created the legendary Tuibeitu!
Fang Er no longer believed it!
He glanced at Li Chunfeng.
Alright, poor child, how have you managed all these years!
He engaged the gear, stepped on the gas, and released the clutch.
The pickup truck made a U-turn on the spot and headed towards Fang Family Manor.
Yuan Tiangang curiously watched the scenery flashing by outside the car.
Young friend, is your mount some divine beast in disguise?
Fang Er ignored him.
He made a decision in his heart.
Damn it, if anyone lets this fellow find a puddle of poop, I'll make him eat it himself!
It's too damn terrifying!