The crowd reached the center of the bridge. Fang Er glanced at his watch and spoke.
"Your Majesty, the train from Shenyang should have arrived at Hejian Prefecture. We need to commence the ceremony quickly."
The train had departed ahead of schedule. It was crucial to ensure it passed over the Yellow River Bridge by the time the ceremony concluded.
Returning to the bridgehead, Lai Yifa handed the microphone to Li Shimin.
"Your Majesty, please."
With that, he nimbly stepped aside to await further instructions.
"Testing, testing~!"
Li Shimin tested the microphone and then began his speech to the assembled populace.
He spoke of the Yellow River's origins and Yu the Great's flood control efforts.
He then traced the history of bridges from the first recorded bridge, the Traveler's Bridge mentioned in the Shui Jing Zhu, to the Yellow River Bridge beneath their feet.
The two junior clerks beside Fang Xuanling promptly stepped forward, one leaning in, the other producing paper and brush, diligently recording every word Li Shimin spoke on his back.
This was to be the headline news for tomorrow, and no mistakes could be afforded.
Fang Er stood nearby, occasionally opening a bottle of water and handing it to the elder Li.
For a full two hours, the man hadn't stopped, save for drinking water.
Indeed, the higher one's leadership, the longer their speeches.
But the common folk below listened intently, their ears perked.
This was coming directly from the Emperor's mouth!
After today, they would have bragging rights for half a lifetime.
In all of Great Tang, how many had seen the Emperor's face, heard his teachings?
"I have," they could boast, "and I listened for a full hour!"
"Damn it, if my daughter-in-law doesn't bring dowry, she won't even get through my door~"
"Our lineage is blessed with imperial aura!"
"That is all I have to say. The rest of the matters are for the Ministry of Rites to handle~"
Li Shimin let out a long sigh and handed the microphone to Dai Li beside him.
He subtly clutched his lower abdomen and walked towards Fang Er.
Two hours, eight bottles of mineral water, and he was about to burst!
"Your Majesty, you haven't read the sacrificial text yet~"
Dai Li whispered urgently. Then, to Li Shimin's horrified gaze, he produced a sacrificial text at least ten pages long from his robe.
Even an ordinary stone bridge required a sacrifice to the river god upon its completion, let alone the foremost bridge in the land!
Li Shimin froze. Looking at the stack of sacrificial texts, he didn't know whether to take it or not.
If he didn't, no one else was qualified to read it. But if he did, his body wouldn't allow it!
However, seeing the hopeful gazes of the people below, he somehow inexplicably took it and began to read the prepared text.
"In the fifth year of Zhenguan, in the lunar month, I, by the grace of Heaven as Emperor, offer pure wine and dried meat in supplication to the spirit of the River God."
"Hear ye: The rice has ripened and rain..."
A torrent of elaborate phrases followed, creating a rather cumbersome text to read.
Page one, page two~
As he read, Li Shimin's face began to twitch. An intense urge to urinate surged through him like a tide, battering his bladder.
With only four pages left, he could no longer hold on.
He stuffed the sacrificial text into his robe. To hell with it! He was the Son of Heaven, and whoever dared, could challenge him!
"I offer this blooded hair, pure wine, and fine delicacies, accompanied by music, to thank the divine blessings. May the spirit partake!"
"With deepest sincerity and awe, I pray for the River God's protection of Great Tang!"
With that, he thrust the microphone into Dai Li's arms, gave him a fierce glare, and then pulled Fang Er towards the edge of the crowd.
"Quickly, find me a place to relieve myself. You're killing your father!"
Fang Er: .........
Dai Li stood there, dumbfounded, Li Shimin's actions completely baffling him.
Was he cutting corners on the sacrificial text?
What was going on!
But it was too late to do anything else. He proceeded with the planned ceremony.
Livestock were carried onto the bridge by the artisans and thrown into the river with shouts.
Cartloads of "Men Dao Lü" wine followed closely behind~
Looking at the wine, Dai Li felt uneasy.
The name "Zui Xian Niang" sounded so auspicious, yet the Emperor insisted that "Men Dao Lü" tasted better.
Was mere taste sufficient for a sacrifice?
Beneath the bridge arch, before the wine jars even hit the water, Li Shimin had already offered the river god the golden "dragon's urine."
"Father, what you're doing is a bit inappropriate!" Fang Er looked at him speechlessly.
Li Shimin rolled his eyes. "I am the Emperor, am I afraid of some insignificant river god?"
"If that fellow isn't happy, tell him to come out and spar with me?"
"It's been a while since my two hovercrafts showed their might. Let him hear them roar~"
Fang Er: ...........
Fine, you took a blow to the nuts, you call the shots!
With nothing left for Li Shimin to do, he returned to the bridge and squatted to the side, watching the Ministry of Rites busy themselves. Time trickled by until Dai Li approached with a tray.
"Your Majesty, according to Prince Kun's instructions, it is now time for the ribbon-cutting ceremony~"
At the bridgehead, three embroidered balls were tied to the center of red silk draped between two stone tablets.
Li Shimin stood in the middle and gave Deng Dengjie a look.
Old Deng quickly produced an imperial edict from his robe and shouted.
"Li Chun, receive this!"
Li Chun immediately stepped forward, cupped his fists, and bowed. "Your servant is here!"
Deng Dengjie began to read the edict: "By the Mandate of Heaven, the Emperor decrees!"
"Hereby, Li Chun, an artisan from Hebei, with the strength of a mortal, has forged an unparalleled bridge, spanning north and south, connecting all, rendering immense service to the nation."
"He is herewith enfeoffed as Marquis of Heavenly Crafts! And promoted to the rank of Artisan Sect Master!"
"A reward of five hundred bolts of silk, ten horses, ten thousand taels of silver, a thousand mu of fertile land, a hundred servants, and a residence in the new capital is bestowed!"
"By Imperial Decree!"
After visiting the Ming and Song dynasties and comparing their edict formats, Old Li felt that Great Tang's format lacked sufficient grandeur.
They were "By the Mandate of Heaven, the Emperor," while Great Tang was "Through the Gate"? How could he tolerate that!
Therefore, upon his return, he had immediately changed the format~
"Your servant, Li Chun, thanks Your Majesty for your boundless grace!"
Li Chun, along with his disciples, knelt down, their hands raised above their heads.
Deng Dengjie placed the edict into his hands and then helped him up, smiling as he gestured to the tray held by Dai Li.
"Marquis of Heavenly Crafts, His Majesty awaits for you to cut the ribbon together."
"Yes!"
Li Chun wiped the tears from his face, nodded heavily, walked over, picked up the scissors, and stood to Li Shimin's right.
Once all three were ready, Dai Li handed the tray to a junior clerk, and then suddenly shouted.
"The auspicious hour has arrived!"
"Fire the cannons!"
"Play the music!"
The two hovercrafts stopped in the distance received commands relayed through the walkie-talkie. Their rocket launchers had already adjusted their firing angles.
"Whoosh~ Whoosh~ Whoosh~"
A volley of rockets was launched, exploding in the sky with bursts of fire due to the timed fuses.
Fang Er was utterly dumbfounded~
But that wasn't all!
After the rocket barrage, a group of musicians leaped from the hovercrafts, set up their instruments, and began to perform.
And Cheng Yaojin, having somehow taken the microphone from Dai Li, began to belt out lyrics accompanied by the musicians.
"The great river flows eastward, the stars in the sky point to the Big Dipper~"
"Heh heh, point to the Big Dipper, walk freely on the Yellow River Bridge~"
"When we say go, we go, you and I, all of us~!"
"Heh heh, all of us, separating north and south no more~!"
~~
Fang Er never expected that his casual humming to Li Shimin would be remembered!
Cheng Yaojin's rough voice actually sang with a unique charm~
Damn it, everything was chaotic!
In his two lifetimes, he had never witnessed such a scene!
Using rockets as celebratory salutes, with the respected military leader performing? Was this truly not a battle formation?
"What are you standing around for? Cut the ribbon!"
Seeing him standing there dazed, Li Shimin prompted him.
*Snip* The long ribbon was cut into four sections and collected by the Ministry of Rites.
*Beep~~~*
At that moment, a long whistle sounded from the north, and then a black dragon, trailing white smoke, sped towards them.
The train had arrived!