Chapter 199: 199-I Want To Be A Main Lead
Suki:
"What do we do now?" I asked, looking toward Ian and Clementine. Since they always had some plan, they better come up with one to help us survive the night. Ian gave me a blunt look, and I didn’t understand why. Thankfully, Joshua was helping carry Jack with me.
"We need to distract them. Let’s find a place where we can hide without them noticing. That’s the only way for now," Clementine yelled. As always, the bitch had a plan.
Then I remembered the conversation I’d had with Joshua just a few minutes earlier, right before we heard Jack screaming.
Flashback:
"Okay, calm down." Joshua had finally caught up with me, realizing that asking me to help him when he was under the rubble was unfair. I slowed my pace. We were far from Clementine and Ian.
"Promise me you won’t do that again," I told Joshua. I hated answering his questions, especially the ones about love, because I knew deep down he wasn’t my choice anymore. I wanted someone like Jack.
"Okay, I won’t," he said, smiling softly.
"What are we going to do about these wendigos? The task is done. We should be going back home now, and I don’t ever want to come back to the North," I mumbled, genuinely tearing up.
I hated the North more than ever now. Losing so many people made me wonder how long before I was gone too.
"Come here, I told you, I will never let anything happen to you," Joshua whispered as he pulled me closer to his chest. The minute I hugged him, my wolf found comfort.
That was crazy. Even when I cheated on him, I didn’t forget that I loved Josh. It was just that he was always so supportive and ready to die for me that I felt pressured to return the sentiment. I felt like I had to do the same for him, and I wasn’t the courageous type.
I wanted to live a timid princess life, someone cherished and loved by everyone, someone who was the lead in other people’s lives too.
I know it was a crazy thought, but it wasn’t entirely impossible. I had seen Clementine do that. She came into the academy and even when she wasn’t very presentable most of the time, she still drew attention. She was a lead, everyone always brought her up in conversation.
"Hey, look at me." As Josh broke the hug and cupped my face in his hands, I began to shed tears.
He was my first love, but I had been afraid of loving him fully. He wanted me to be his only one and for him to be my only one. But I knew he might find other mates someday, and then what? Would he love them the same?
I did not want to stay for the day when Josh loved someone more or loved someone the same way he loved me. Maybe that’s why I had fallen out of love with him, the crazy kind. I was ready to be betrayed and move on if that happened.
"I will not let anything happen to you," Josh confirmed while still holding my face in his hands.
"If you truly love me, promise me after this we will never return to the North," I asked, and I noticed his jaw clench. What I was asking was a lot, even though I knew that. But I knew only he could make it happen, make me never return here.
"I promise." He eased me so much when he kissed my forehead and made that promise. Then we heard screams from outside, and the voice I recognized as Jack’s.
I would not leave the North with him left behind. If Josh helped me out of the academy, he had to help Jack too.
End of Flashback.
"Where to?" I asked. Clementine began to sprint in a zig-zag pattern, trying to divert the wendigos’ attention.
But there were four of them, and it was hard to lose them when we were running in groups. That’s when Ian stepped ahead and ran in the opposite direction.
"Clementine, find yourself a shelter while I distract them," he yelled, making me briefly pause to look at Ian. The way he only had eyes for Clementine, only a fool wouldn’t notice.
"What? No! What the fuck are you doing?" Clementine screamed back at him, but he had already sprinted away. I watched Clementine follow him, turning away from us, so I let go of Jack and ran after her, grabbing her arm.
I knew Josh was carrying Jack, so he was fine.
"Where are you going? He cleared the wendigos so we could all survive. You are not going after him and leaving us without shelter," I hissed as I dug my nails deeper into her skin. Her eyes widened.
"Let me go," she grunted, freeing herself and facing me. Thankfully, we could no longer hear the wendigos’ screams. They had run after Ian.
What was so special about Clementine anyway? Why would Ian take out the wendigos for her?
"You don’t know where he went, so why not help us find shelter?" I yelled at her, watching her grimace.
"I am not your mother and I am not your guard. Go fucking find your own shelter," she screamed back with so much hostility. I was stunned to see this side of her.
Whenever people were around her, she would act concerned and like she’d give her life for others. But once it was just the two of us, she proved she did not care at all. It was all an act so she looked better.
She started to rush back and I groaned, grabbing her arm again.
"Jack is in a very bad state, and you must have heard something from your lookout about safe areas. So fucking help us find shelter," I groaned.
"We are safe. Ian is the one the wendigos are going after. So why don’t you find shelter while I go after my squadmate?" she hissed and pushed me back, booking forward, but I noticed her steps slow once she probably realized she had no clue where her friend went.