Chapter 163: When the Goddess and the Priestess Start Catfighting
As Finn looked up, he was met with pure dread.
The swamp itself began to heave upward. Muddy earth and foul, unidentifiable waste clung to something massive rising from beneath, dripping back down in slow, sickening streams.
Everyone froze. Knights and adventurers alike stood paralyzed, their swords rattling in their hands, their legs trembling as the ground shook beneath them.
Even Finn felt his chest tighten with fear. Whatever this was, it was huge—and it didn’t stop rising. The muck peeled away bit by bit, but the thing beneath was too far up to make out its form.
Overhead, the crows wheeled and cawed, circling the creature as though in worship.
Finn’s blood ran cold. This had to be the cocoon he and Seraphina had found in the slime cavern—only now it had grown into something nightmarishly colossal. Nothing else made sense.
The knight who had harassed Finn earlier stumbled back, his entire body quaking. He looked more afraid now than he ever had of the chief woman.
"What do we do..." a knight whispered, and his words rippled through the crowd like a spark in dry grass.
"We’re all going to die!" another shouted, and the panic erupted. Some fled in blind terror, others froze, while a handful braced themselves, trying to muster the courage to stand their ground.
Finn didn’t even pretend to help calm anyone. His eyes darted to Seraphina—then to Elise. But before he could get close, Isolde seized him, her grip like iron, dragging him to safety.
But Finn yanked against her hold, stopping her.
Her pale face flickered with confusion. "Mister. Finn, what are you doing? I must take you away from here. Your safety is my top priority."
"Yes, I know that."
"Then allow me to escort you out of danger—"
"No." Finn cut her off, his eyes locked on the chaos unfolding. "If that’s the case... then let me fight with everyone else."
Isolde stared at Finn as if he’d grown two heads. "But that puts your well-being into danger."
"Isn’t your job to ensure my safety and well-being?"
"Yes, it is."
"Then let me do this. It’s what I want."
She blinked in disbelief. "That isn’t what—"
Finn ignored her and stepped forward, sliding in beside the knights—and right next to Seraphina. He tilted his chin up, eyes fixed on the monstrous shadow rising higher and higher.
Everyone else was still trembling, muttering, clinging to their weapons. And yet, despite the massive battlefield around them, they all clumped together in one spot. The exact same spot Finn happened to be standing in.
’Does no one here know how to fight a giant?! Spread out, you clowns! It’s not rocket science!’
The figure rose higher, its top vanishing into the clouds, and Finn’s stomach dropped. Moistvile’s sudden rise into the sky—yeah, this thing must have been the cause. His brain screamed oh hell no!
As if that weren’t bad enough, hell itself decided to add reinforcements.
His party.
Somehow, they were louder than the mountain-sized abomination clawing its way from the ground. Especially Majestria—whose voice cut through the chaos like nails on a chalkboard.
She shoved through a cluster of knights, nearly tripping one, and stood in front of Finn with all the fury of a queen who’d been forced to walk through a puddle.
’Why... WHY are you focused on me instead of the skyscraper-sized nightmare behind you?!’
"Don’t think you’re free, Finn!"
"You can’t be serious..." Finn muttered under his breath.
"I had to clean myself up again because of your mess! And now I’m forced to stand on this disgusting dirt! Kneel down so I can sit on you!"
Before she could get closer, Isolde slipped like a ghost in front of Finn, blocking her. Finn still didn’t understand why the maids acted like his personal defense squad. He’d forgotten the real reason—and hated the thought that maybe, just maybe, this was some kind of cosmic fetish.
’This has to be some fetish. I’m not signing up for this!’
"Get out of my way, ghost bitch!" Majestria snapped.
Finn’s jaw dropped. "Majestria! Such vulgar language, from a divine—"
"Shut the fuck up, Finn!" She jabbed a finger toward Isolde. "And YOU—" her eyes burned, "—you’ll pay for even touching me with a single molecule of your ghost hands!"
Isolde’s voice was calm, almost bored. "Please refrain from such language, or—"
Majestria cut her off instantly, screeching, "Bitch, MOVE! I want to see Finn!"
"I’m afraid I cannot do that. You need to leave," Isolde said firmly, stepping forward to assert her dominance.
Majestria’s fist began to glow as she stepped up as well. "I don’t think I want to."
Their eyes locked—Majestria seething like some Greek god furious a villager hadn’t prayed for the 3,949th time in a single day, while Isolde’s face stayed stern and unflinching. Neither was about to back down. Neither would yield. And both somehow ignored the skyscraper-sized nightmare rising behind them.
’What is this world...’ Finn thought, dead inside.
Just as the tension was about to snap, the rest of his disaster squad arrived.
Chestelle came first—still caked in mud—shuffling up to Finn like a child pointing at a closet monster, her muddy finger jabbing toward the colossal figure behind them. At least she was worried about something that actually mattered.
Lickthorn followed, clearly more interested in when they’d leave this mud pit so she could hunt for fresh men somewhere else.
For once, Finn felt irony stab him right in the gut: Chestelle was the responsible one.
"Why is he here?!" Majestria suddenly broke off her staredown with Isolde to screech at someone else entirely.
Finn turned to see her glaring at the same knight who’d harassed him earlier.
’What could it possibly be now...’
"Are you suddenly friends with the guy that tried to steal your hat?!" Majestria barked.
Finn blinked, then slowly reached up and touched his hat. Like unlocking a forbidden book of memories, everything clicked.
"You! You’re the thief who tried to steal my hat earlier! Majestria and I jumped you!"
The knight just stared at him in disbelief. "You can’t be serious."
"Why are you here?! Planning to steal my hat again?! Do I need to toss you back to that scary woman?!"
"That will not happen again!"
"You wanna bet?"
"...no."
Before Finn could push further, Chestelle tugged at his sleeve, still pointing at the horror rising behind them. "Finn, Finn! The giant thing is coming out of the ground! What do we do?!"
"I don’t know! The hell am I supposed to do?!"
Isolde’s calm voice slid in. "Mister Finn... that man stole from you?"
Meanwhile, Lickthorn whined, "Finn, when are we leaving? I’m bored."
"Can you all stop?!" Finn shouted, clutching his head.
Finn was getting more freaked out and stressed by these women than by the giant swamp kaiju crawling out of the ground. That alone said everything about his life.
Seraphina, thankfully, had been staying out of it—focused on healing people and actually being useful. But not even she was safe from Majestria’s chaos.
"And you!" Majestria suddenly snapped, pointing at Seraphina like a prosecutor on crack. "Goodie-two-shoes, so-called divine bitch. Disclaimer: you aren’t, and never were, divine. I am!"
Seraphina tried to ignore her. For about five seconds.
Majestria pressed harder. "Sorry to break it to you, but your little divine act? Fake. And don’t get me started on your ’purity’—I can see that one tiny sin of yours!"
"Leave me alone!" Seraphina yelped.
"Or what?!" Majestria sneered. "Cry to your fake goddess? She’s not even all that."
Seraphina gasped and whipped around, fury in her eyes. "Take that back. She is the goddess!"
"I’m a goddess myself," Majestria fired back, smirking, "and prettier, holier, and far better than that wench."
"You call yourself divine, yet you act nothing of it!" Seraphina proclaimed, jabbing a finger at her. "You swear like a sailor and dress like a harlot—there’s nothing sacred about you!"
’Oh my god... this is getting out of hand. But I can’t stop watching!’ Finn thought, horrified and entertained all at once.
Majestria exploded. "Bitch! You’re the one wearing those clingy robes that show off every curve. Just look at yourself—you’re practically begging to be lusted over!"
Seraphina’s face burned red as she instinctively covered her chest. "I—I only wore them because Ardin wanted me to!"
"Slut!" Majestria roared.
"Ladies, ladies, please calm down!" Finn tried to wedge himself in before it turned into a holy catfight.
"No!" Majestria snapped.
"I can’t!" Seraphina wailed.
The earth rumbled again, harder this time. A roar—deep, guttural, and all too familiar—ripped through the area like a war horn of the damned. The same roar from the slime cavern.
It cut through the chaos instantly. Majestria’s insults, Seraphina’s shouting, Lickthorn’s whining, even Chestelle’s mud-smeared panic—gone. Everyone froze, their attention yanked toward the monstrosity still rising from the abyss.
The last of the swamp muck sloughed off its towering frame, splattering into the mire below like avalanches of filth. And then—finally—they saw it.
Finn’s stomach dropped. His heart plummeted straight into his boots.
This... this was not what he expected. Not even close.