Chapter 160: What Are you People Saying?!
"Her name is Isolde Nachtveil," Theron said, smirking at Finn. "She will be your main caretaker once we arrive at the kingdom—ensuring you eat well and that everything is up to standards."
"Ha-ma... ha-ma..." Finn’s brain flatlined. Every neuron fired at once, shutting down anything resembling logic.
’She’s gonna be my caretaker... oh God. I might just start pretending I’m old and senile—constantly wandering into her room while she’s changing...’
Isolde turned her pale violet gaze onto him, hands folded gracefully in front of her. She gave him the kind of soft smile that could melt steel.
Then she spoke, her voice quiet, like a whisper carried on glass. "Hello, dear guest~ I’ve heard many things about you, and I wished to know more." She pressed her palms together gently, tilting her head with warmth. "I do hope to live up to expectations... and to learn more from you."
Finn’s heart fluttered like a middle-schooler seeing sideboob for the first time. This was, what, the second time he’d completely lost it over a woman here? Maybe I’m just weak. Or maybe it’s all the porn I consumed back on Earth. ...Wait. When WAS the last time I jacked off?
He rubbed his chin, sinking too deep into that rabbit hole.
"What is on your mind, Mister Finn?" Isolde asked sweetly.
Jolted back to reality, Finn stammered, "Oh, nothing. Just... thinking about some things."
"Oh?" she smiled again, patient and curious. "Would you mind telling me what things?"
"...Uh. The last time I, y’know... enjoyed myself. Yeah."
Her lips parted slightly, her tone a hushed surprise. "Oh, my..." she lingered, then let the words float away. "You are very interesting. I’ve heard a great deal about you already—especially from Master Theron. I only wished to know more firsthand."
"Oh... is that so? Uh... I’m guessing you heard the same things Theron heard?"
Her smile faltered slightly, a flicker of confusion replacing it. She glanced at Theron, who stood silent, deliberately letting them speak.
Noticing the shift, Theron coughed into his hand. "Ah. Yes. You and I were given... different accounts. But neither are wrong, so there is no need to worry."
Finn blinked at him. Then it hit him. "Wait—so you’re saying those rumors about me are true?!"
Theron stiffened, immediately backpedaling. "My apologies. I did not mean to suggest that. Do not trouble yourself over what was said. It is unimportant." He gestured calmly toward Isolde. "What matters is that she wishes to know you for herself."
She nodded softly, returning her eyes to Finn.
"So... how long have you been an adventurer, Mister Finn?"
Finn scratched his cheek, thinking. "Uh... almost a week, I guess?"
Her eyes widened in faint delight. "Oh my, you’ve gained so much experience in such a short time." She covered her lips with a gloved hand, half-amused, half-impressed.
"Yeah... guess so," Finn muttered.
And that’s how it began. Isolde, one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen, bombarding him with question after question. Mundane ones, too—what he liked to do, how much he slept, what kind of food he preferred.
At first, Finn thought it was boring. Annoying even. But then it hit him—someone was actually paying attention to him. Someone noticed him, listened to him.
And he couldn’t deny... it felt really, really nice.
It all went smoothly with Isolde—until the serious stuff barged in. Not between her and Finn, thankfully, but between two other "very important" members of the party.
Chunkus and Raze had shown up.
Finn’s stomach dropped.
They immediately started probing about Ardin’s whereabouts. Finn wasn’t confused about Ardin—that idiot was now dead—but what baffled him was how the girls hadn’t interrupted once during his talk with Isolde. Now? Now he had to deal with these two.
Chunkus and Raze stood before them with matching worried-and-confused expressions, like twin idiots auditioning for a comedy act.
"Have you seen where Ardin may have gone, hmph?" Raze asked, his tone smug but his face weirdly scrunched, like he was trying to solve a math problem.
"Maybe he was deep-fried," Chunkus said, rubbing his belly.
"No," Theron interjected firmly, already trying to dismiss them. "We have not seen where Hero Ardin has gone."
Raze crossed his arms, nodding sagely. "Then he must be one with the shadows now... perhaps he has finally embraced its great importance. Hmph."
Finn just stared. Who the hell talks like this?
Chunkus suddenly turned on Finn. "Didn’t you have a food fight with him?"
"What? No—"
"He only speaks the food way, hmph," Raze cut in, arms still crossed, chin tilted down like some kind of monk of obesity.
"I don’t... what does that even mean? I’m not even fat! What are you people saying?" Finn snapped, his patience hanging by a thread.
Raze’s eyes narrowed. "It means you spoke—or fought—with him last. Hmph."
Finn froze, weighing his words carefully. Theron’s warning still echoed in his head. He couldn’t slip here.
"Yeah... I mean, you both saw what went down. But that was it. After that, I haven’t seen or spoken to him."
Raze just gave another smug "hmph." Chunkus groaned and rubbed his belly like it held all the answers to life’s mysteries.
Finn watched them, dead-eyed. No wonder Ardin turned out the way he did. Surrounded by these hooligans...
’I can barely stand these guys as it is.’
"Well, what about you guys and Seraphina?" Finn asked finally, just to flip the pressure back on them.
They looked at each other, then back at Finn, both answering in unison — same meaning, different wording.
"She was overcooked."
"She gave into her weakness, hmph."
"Oh my god," Finn groaned, dragging his hands down his face. "Can you stop with the weird speeches and just say what happened? What happened to her?"
Raze spoke like he was narrating an epic poem. "She could not weather the darkness. She chose the shadows."
Chunkus nodded solemnly, as if agreeing with every word. "Now she dwells alone, unknown. Hmph."
Finn closed his eyes and took a breath. "So she’s not part of the party anymore. After what happened with Ardin, she’s gone off by herself."
"Yes—she faces her demons, hmph." Chunkus nodded again, as if this answered everything. Then, with ridiculous timing, he added, "It’s sad. There will be no more food outs." He belched.
Finn’s eye twitched. These two were somehow more annoying than the girls — an impressive feat — but at least the girls didn’t speak in single-note, cryptic sentences all the time.
"Well, do you know where she is?" Finn pressed, trying to get some actual information.
Before either of them could reply, a soft but cutting cough cut across the clearing. Theron’s voice followed calmly but firmly: "May you people please leave? You are disturbing my client’s peace."
Isolde had stepped forward, subtly putting herself between Finn and the pair. She pressed her palms together politely, but her tone carried an edge. "As Theron said, it would be best to leave Mister Finn be. He’s been through a lot. If you fail to comply, I will have no choice but to use force."
The two looked at each other, then at Isolde. Raze, unfazed, adopted an almost mystical stare. "The shadow is called elsewhere, hmph." Chunkus rubbed his belly. "My stew must be ready now," he announced, as if that settled the matter.
They turned and wandered off — probably to bother someone else with their nonsense — and Finn felt a wash of relief. As long as they left him alone, he could live with it.
"Now — back to business." Theron’s voice broke through.
Finn turned to him. "What’s next?"
"Find your friends," Theron said. "Then we leave. I imagine you’d like to get out of here after everything you’ve been through."
Finn’s whole face lit up. "Yes! Oh my god, yes. Let’s go right now!"
***
After the long, boring, somewhat interesting, and completely annoying conversation finally ended, Finn took the lead, declaring he would be the fastest at finding the girls. "I know them best," he bragged. Which, to be fair, was true.
If not immediately, they soon stood before them — well, sort of.
Chestelle was sprawled on the ground, rolling around like a pig in the mud, clearly enjoying herself. Lickthorn, as usual, was busy flirting with every knight in sight, trying to "score one." And Majestria — for reasons Finn could never hope to understand — had somehow convinced a knight to lie down so she could stand on him and avoid touching the mud herself.
Finn honestly could not believe this was his group. He knew he was weird, but this... this was on another level.
The difference between him and them? He was a loser. Well, Lickthorn could be considered a loser too, if you wanted. Actually, maybe they all were losers, Chestelle included, just being Chestelle.
Anyway. They needed to deal with this chaos and get everyone gathered to leave this hellhole.
Before moving forward, Finn glanced back at the distant hole of bubbling swamp liquid or whatever. He wondered if something — or someone — might emerge from it. And he still couldn’t wrap his head around how the place had ended up so high in the sky in the first place.
So many questions. But first? He had to deal with the girls.