Chapter 72 Apology

It was Sunday, and the sun was shining brightly. Yang Pan was awakened by the sunlight. He opened his eyes and found that Zhang Jun's bed was empty. What was he doing out so early? Yang Pan mumbled and pulled the quilt over his head to continue sleeping.

On the bustling Huangshan Road, Zhang Jun wandered alone, with only eighteen yuan left in his pocket for the month. He wanted to buy Sophie a gift, a birthday gift.

He had figured it out. For the past three years, it seemed that Sophie had always been the one taking the initiative, while he had rarely shown any initiative himself. It wasn't fair to a girl like that. Which girl didn't want to be pursued by a boy? Instead of being proactive, he was blaming Sophie. Wasn't that a bit selfish?

Now, Li Shuai's appearance could be said to have done him a favor. Now, he would use his actions to win this competition again, just like he did at the beginning. He was one goal short of a hat-trick, and now he was going to make up for it.

But what to buy? Eighteen yuan was really too little. He could afford a birthday card, but giving that now would be too insincere. A birthday cake? The cheapest one was eighteen yuan, but… Zhang Jun looked at the eighteen-yuan cake in the window, and it looked like it had been expired for a month. A toy doll? That would be good; girls would like those things, right? But the price… Zhang Jun clenched the money in his hand and looked at the tag. The cheapest one was thirty-six yuan, twice as much. Zhang Jun didn't think he could bargain down the price, so he reluctantly left the gift shop.

Really, for three years, he'd always given a hat-trick as a gift, never considering any other gifts. Now that he was picking one out, he didn't know what to give, what kind of thing could best represent his heart and make Sophie understand at a glance.

Sophie had just gotten up when she received a call from Li Shuai, saying that he wanted to buy a gift for his sister, but he didn't know what girls liked. Sophie was about the same age as his sister, so she should know. He wanted to ask Sophie to advise him. Sophie remembered that she had something to say to Li Shuai anyway, so she agreed. They agreed to meet at the school gate.

When they met, Li Shuai seemed to be in a good mood. "You're here? My sister just called and insisted that I buy her a gift. She's coming to Hefei to see me, and I don't know what kind of things girls like, so I had to ask you for help! I'm really sorry to bother you!"

"It's nothing. It's the last time anyway."

"The last… what do you mean?" Li Shuai was stunned.

"I know what you're thinking, but I think my attitude might have misled you." Sophie looked at the Jinzhai Road with its passing traffic. Taxis were always slowing down in front of them, thinking they were another "couple" looking for a ride. "From beginning to end, I've only treated you as a regular friend. I already have a boyfriend, so there's no way I can be with you…"

"Why not?" Li Shuai's smile froze on his face. "What if you have a boyfriend? I can compete with him. I don't believe I can't win…"

"You can't win him…" Sophie interrupted Li Shuai softly. She looked at another taxi slowing down. "Aren't you going to buy a gift for your sister?"

Li Shuai was stunned. "Sister? I don't have a sister!" He threw down these words and turned to walk into the campus. He wanted to make himself look as carefree as possible, but he couldn't manage it no matter what.

Sophie smiled apologetically and shook her head at the taxi driver who had stopped. Then she turned back to look at the school. Li Shuai had already disappeared.

She thought for a while and decided not to go back to school for the time being. She would just take a walk outside to clear her head. Even though she said "ordinary friends," she knew that it would be better if they didn't see each other again. Between men and women, if they couldn't become lovers, they should become enemies.

Zhang Jun found a very inconspicuous Tibetan shop in a corner. When you mentioned Tibet, people thought of pure blue skies, pure sunshine, and pure air. It was very suitable for Sophie, pure and beautiful.

The shop had no door, only a Tibetan-style blanket hanging over the entrance as a curtain. Zhang Jun thought that the things in such a small shop shouldn't be too expensive, so he lifted the curtain and went in. The moment he entered, his eyes blurred. He looked closely and realized that the three walls of the small shop, which was less than five square meters, were covered with various Tibetan ornaments. He must have been blinded by the sunlight reflecting off these ornaments just now.

Zhang Jun casually looked at a hanging ornament, which was priced at more than fifty yuan. He was startled and quickly withdrew his hand.

There was only one middle-aged uncle in the shop, who should be the boss. He asked Zhang Jun enthusiastically, "Young man, what kind of ornament are you looking for?"

Zhang Jun mumbled, "Just looking around…" He went around in a circle and found that the ornaments on the east wall were cheaper, so he focused his attention on that area.

Most of these ornaments were flat pieces with patterns carved on them. Zhang Jun thought they should be in Tibetan, but he didn't recognize them and didn't know what they meant.

The boss saw Zhang Jun looking at the ornaments on the east wall repeatedly, so he came over and explained the meaning of the patterns on them in detail: "This one represents health and longevity, that one represents good luck…"

Zhang Jun flipped through them one by one, and the boss explained them one by one with great service. Zhang Jun felt that he should buy one just because the boss had said so much to him. So he casually picked up a chain. The workmanship wasn't very delicate, and he thought it shouldn't be too expensive. "This one, how much?"

The boss looked at the tag on the wall. "Twenty-five yuan."

Zhang Jun's heart thumped. He was still seven yuan short. He looked at the others, but this was the cheapest one. "Can you make it cheaper, boss?"

The boss stroked his beard. "Okay, twenty. I can't go any lower."

Twenty, he couldn't go any lower, but he only had eighteen. He was still two yuan short. Zhang Jun really didn't want to give up like this.

The boss saw Zhang Jun hesitating and thought he didn't like the price. He quickly said, "This is the last one! I'm already losing money at this price!"

Zhang Jun began to rummage through all his pockets, hoping to find the two yuan he had forgotten in some corner, but in the end, he was disappointed.

He looked at the Tibetan ornament in his hand, which represented eternal love, and reluctantly hung it back up and turned to leave.

But the boss had just sat down when Zhang Jun came back. He seemed to have mustered up the courage to take out all the money he had on him and put it in front of the boss: a ten-yuan bill, a five-yuan bill, and three one-yuan coins. "I only have eighteen yuan. Can I…"

The boss looked at the coins, still stained with sweat, and then looked at Zhang Jun's embarrassed face and smiled. "You're buying this for your girlfriend, aren't you?"

Zhang Jun was stunned. "How did you know?"

"Hehe! You have to buy an ornament symbolizing eternal love. Who else would you give it to but your girlfriend?" The boss uncle laughed. He got up, walked to the wall, took down the Tibetan ornament, put it in a special small bag, and handed it to Zhang Jun. "It's a deal, eighteen yuan! Take it! It's the only one left!"

Sophie walked along Huangshan Road. The area near the school was the most lively, and the students from the nearby universities all gathered here.

She was tired from walking, so she sat down to rest in a stone sandbox shaped like a large Go piece in the street garden. These Go pieces were usually used by passersby to rest on, and they were polished smooth. Pairs of lovers were sitting on the nearby pieces, snuggling together and oblivious to everyone else. She and Zhang Jun had also sat here before, but today she was alone. Sophie didn't want to look at the intimate couples, so she looked around. Suddenly, she noticed a Tibetan shop in a very inconspicuous corner. There was no door, only a curtain hanging at the entrance.

Sophie remembered that Zhang Jun's birthday was in a few days, and she should buy him a birthday gift. He must have been wronged these days.

The curtain was lifted, and a beautiful girl came in. The boss couldn't help but take a few more glances. But as beautiful as she was, there was always a hint of sadness in her eyes.

This was a small shop. The three walls of the shop, which was less than five square meters, were covered with various Tibetan ornaments. There were no other customers in the shop, so business didn't seem to be very good. She went around in a circle and found that the prices were moderate and she could afford them, but she didn't know if these Tibetan ornaments had any special meaning. She turned to ask the boss standing aside, "Do you have any ornaments that represent eternal love?"

The boss was stunned. "Eternal love? Yes, but it was just sold. The one that represents eternal love was bought by a young man. It was the last one."

"It was bought?" Sophie had just had a little hope, but the boss's words poured cold water on her.

"Yes, that young man didn't have enough money. He haggled for a long time, but he was still two yuan short. I sold it to him for eighteen yuan. I thought he was quite pitiful. He had been clutching the eighteen yuan for a long time." The boss uncle laughed. "College students seem to be poor by the end of the month, but they still have to buy gifts for their girlfriends, sigh!"

"It's the last one. Don't you have any others? Even a sample would be fine!" Sophie really wanted to buy it, and she spoke a little anxiously. The uncle was startled. When a beautiful woman got anxious, she was also very imposing! He shook his head. "I don't even have a sample. That kind of thing doesn't sell well. I didn't stock up on it. In this day and age, who still believes in eternal love?"

Sophie didn't hear the boss's last words. She looked at the wall full of Tibetan ornaments again. Now she only wanted to buy the ornament that had been bought by someone else. She had lost interest in everything else.

Praying for eternal love. What an appropriate wish! She and Zhang Jun needed this kind of blessing the most now. She and he were each other's first love, and she really hoped that this first love could continue forever, eternally.

It was a pity that she was one step late!

"Really, you don't have any more?" Sophie made a final effort.

The uncle shook his head.

She had no choice but to lift the curtain and leave with great regret. It seemed that she had to find time to go to the city center to take a look.

He had bought the gift, but Zhang Jun was still worried that it was too shabby. The price was too cheap, the workmanship wasn't very delicate, and he didn't know if it was real Tibetan. Giving this to Sophie, compared to Li Shuai's gift, would be too insignificant, right?

But this had already spent all the money he had on him, and he had no ability to buy any other gifts of sufficient weight.

Zhang Jun was troubled by these thoughts. He glanced at Yang Pan's Walkman on his bed. Zhou Huajian's new album "Forget Sorrow Grass" had finally been released recently. Yang Pan had just bought it and hadn't listened to it for a few days. He heard that there were several good songs in it, but he had never listened to them.

He picked up the Walkman. The tape was inside, and the batteries were in, too. He put on the headphones, pressed the "play" button, and after a brief wait, the piano music started. Zhang Jun liked to listen to Zhou Huajian's songs because of Yang Pan's influence. He felt that there was always a warmth in Zhou Huajian's songs that could move people unconsciously. It wasn't noisy, pretentious, or flashy. It was like a gentle stream flowing in your ear, but it was enough to make you smile knowingly or burst into tears.

The music continued, and Zhang Jun fell on Yang Pan's bed, but he was already falling asleep. Suddenly, he sat up abruptly, picked up the Walkman, rewound the tape, played it… rewound the tape, played it… rewound the tape, played it… He listened to a song several times, and he finally found a way, a song that could express his heart, a romantic way of expression. He believed that Sophie would understand after listening to this song. This song was simply written for him.

He quickly moved to rewind the tape to the beginning of this song, then put it in the tape case, put it in his arms, and went out.

There were no classes this afternoon, so Sophie made a special trip to Sanxiaokou and Sipaifang to run errands, walking through all the Tibetan shops, but she didn't see the ornament representing eternal love. Whenever she asked, "Do you have any ornaments that represent eternal love?" those people always looked at her with strange eyes. She had money in her pocket, but she could only go back empty-handed. When she returned to the dormitory, the roommate on the upper bunk handed her a cassette tape: "Here, Zhang Jun gave it to you."

Sophie took it. It was Zhou Huajian's new album "Forget Sorrow Grass," a very ordinary cassette tape. Sophie couldn't see anything special about it. She asked her roommate, "Did he say anything?"

"No, he just told me to give it to you. He didn't say anything else."

Sophie sat down again, took out the cassette tape. This wasn't a new cassette tape. It was obvious that it had been listened to. The tape stopped in the middle… Sophie's heart suddenly moved. She took out the Walkman from her pillow, put the cassette tape into the machine, put on her headphones, and pressed the "play" button.

Yang Pan returned to the dormitory and wanted to listen to music. He picked up the Walkman, put on the headphones, and pressed the "play" button. He waited for a long time, but he didn't hear any response. He opened the machine, strangely, and found that the cassette tape was gone!

"Hey! That's weird! Has anyone seen my cassette tape!" Yang Pan shouted at the people in the dormitory.

The three people in the dormitory turned to look at him, shook their heads, and went back to their own things.

Zhou Huajian's singing came from the headphones. Sophie listened and was stunned.

I remember saying for you,
I want to win the whole world.
But I ignored you falling behind.
Going around in a circle, I didn't even notice,
Your smiling face, just concealing.
Silently by my side.
Thinking that if I don't say anything,
You should understand.
Love is an intuition that doesn't need words.
But time has proven everything, but it can't be rewritten,
Who can understand your grievances?
I'm sorry, I'm only saying it now: I love you!
If I had understood earlier, I would have hugged you tightly.
I'm really sorry! I'm only saying I love you now,
I hope everything isn't too late!
Oh--I'm really sorry for these years,
I was a little selfish.
I unintentionally hurt you, but I forgot to apologize.
Actually, when you are fragile,
What words can be more considerate, more direct than this?
I'm sorry, I'll say it again, I love you!
If I had understood earlier, I would have hugged you tightly.
I'm really sorry, I'm only saying I love you now,
I hope everything isn't too late!
I'm sorry! I will always love you!
I'm sorry, I'll say it again, I love you!
I'm really grateful to you, I want to hold you tight!
I'm really sorry, I'm only saying I love you now!
I hope everything isn't too late,
I'll tell you: The one I love the most is you!
…

The roommate looked at Sophie strangely, listening to the cassette tape Zhang Jun had sent, but she was in tears, and they didn't know what had happened. Sophie didn't speak, didn't make a sound, didn't care about the roommates' gazes, she just sat by the bed quietly crying, quietly listening to this song, quietly being moved.

Zhang Jun was sitting alone on the steps in front of the bronze statue of the first president of U University, quietly watching a group of children playing by the fountain. The sunlight near dusk dyed everything in front of him golden, making this autumn afternoon particularly warm.