Chapter 256: Chapter 253: [She’s gone, we’ve come together]
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Three [She Left, We Came Together]
That night, Chen Nuo sat in the living room of his home. Not on the sofa, but on the floor, hugging his knees and looking up at the portrait of the old lady on the wall. It seemed that in this unfamiliar home, only this portrait felt like his own, his sole familiar presence.
Finally, as dawn vaguely broke, a hint of resolve flashed in the young man’s eyes. He staggered to his feet, went back to his room, and began to rummage through the house’s drawers. First, he looked for money. In the bedroom nightstand, he found some cash—around ten thousand yuan. Chen Nuo looked at the stack of banknotes, hesitated, then counted out eight hundred yuan. This is mine... The rest isn’t, he thought. Chen Nuo sighed, then found his ID card and student card.
In the closet, he found a safe, but he didn’t know the combination—nor was he interested in finding out. After glancing at the safe, he looked away and picked out two familiar items of clothing from the closet to change into. Finally, he pulled out a shoulder backpack from inside and tossed his belongings into it. Standing before the large closet mirror, he sized himself up.
Chen Nuo returned to the living room, climbed onto a chair, took down the portrait, wrapped it carefully in a towel, and solemnly placed it in his backpack.
「At a little after seven in the morning, Chen Nuo left the house.」
He closed the door—but without a key, he couldn’t deadbolt it. Well, the door to this home was new anyway. Chen Nuo went downstairs and walked out of the residential complex.
He bought a steamed glutinous rice roll with a fried dough stick for breakfast from a roadside stall. He glanced at the bustling commuters in the early morning rush hour and, while nibbling on his breakfast, walked along the road. He waited at the bus stop for over ten minutes and, with the throng of people, the teenager struggled to squeeze onto the bus. During the bumpy ride, he carefully clutched the shoulder bag to his chest, afraid someone would crush the portrait frame inside. The morning rush hour bus was packed like a can of sardines. The young man silently endured.
Half an hour later, Chen Nuo got off the bus and walked for another ten minutes or so before finally arriving at his destination.
Jinling Train Station.
It was still too early; the ticket windows weren’t open yet, but quite a few people were already queuing outside. Some were even sitting directly on their suitcases. In this era, 2001, smartphones hadn’t emerged yet, and the Internet was only just beginning to take off. Online ticketing channels were, of course, unheard of. Chen Nuo stood quietly at the end of the line, then silently waited.
「At ten in the morning, Chen Nuo came out of the ticketing hall, clutching a train ticket tightly.」
A ticket for the T138, from Jinling to Shanghai City. This was already the earliest train he could get. The clothes he’d changed into before leaving home were now wrinkled from the crush on the bus and in the crowded ticket queue. His shoes had also been stepped on a couple of times during the bus ride. With his ticket and documents in hand, Chen Nuo entered the waiting hall. After passing through security, he sat in the hall, continuing to stare blankly.
「"What is he trying to do?"」
"I don’t know. Let’s just follow and see."
Lu Xixi sighed. Four women, plus Senior Brother Wu, silently watched the young man from a corner of the waiting hall.
「Around 2:40 in the afternoon, Chen Nuo walked out of Shanghai City train station.」
The smell of instant noodles clung to him. On the train, a fellow passenger making instant noodles had accidentally spilled some soup, splattering Chen Nuo’s T-shirt. The person had apologized profusely, but Chen Nuo had merely accepted it in silence, not saying a word.
Standing in this unfamiliar city, at this unfamiliar train station, in this unfamiliar plaza. Chen Nuo actually felt a bit timid and lost. But in an instant, he clutched his shoulder bag tighter, feeling the hard photo frame inside. Suddenly, a sliver of courage sparked within him. He had very little social experience. His experience traveling far from home was also practically zero. But the young man remembered advice he had heard from others. After leaving the train station, he declined several unlicensed taxi drivers who solicited him. Instead, he simply asked a patrolling police officer for directions before walking away from the plaza in front of the station.
Then, on the south side of the plaza, he bought a few buns from a fast-food restaurant with a large signboard. He remembered the name of this restaurant; classmates who had been to Shanghai City had mentioned it was affordable, and the food tasted quite good.
Xinya Dabao.
After purchasing two pork-filled buns and a bottle of mineral water, Chen Nuo walked the streets of Shanghai. After walking a few hundred meters, guessing he was now some distance from the train station, Chen Nuo reluctantly hailed a taxi by the roadside, wincing at the expected cost.
「A little after three in the afternoon, Chen Nuo stood in Lujiazui.」
In 2001, Lujiazui in Shanghai City still lacked the awe-inspiring cluster of skyscrapers that would characterize it in later years. The Jin Mao Tower naturally didn’t exist yet, nor did the Shanghai Tower. The Super Brand Mall was still a landmark here, a massive, comprehensive shopping center. The riverside Shangri-La Hotel remained a symbol of luxury accommodation. Oh, right, Tomson Riviera hadn’t been built yet either.
Chen Nuo stood outside the fence of the Oriental Pearl Tower. It was the last few days of summer vacation, and there were still quite a few students and tourists around. Chen Nuo bought a ticket and followed the crowd inside, observing the groups of tourists—some in family units, others with friends. Chen Nuo, a solitary figure, walked quietly through the crowd. He felt a pang of envy for those holding digital cameras and taking photos. But after gripping the photo frame in his bag, the young man’s expression calmed.
I’m not alone.
After a long wait in line, he finally took the elevator up the Oriental Pearl Tower. He took the stairs to the famous glass-floored observatory... For the first time, the young man’s face showed the eager, almost boyish expression typical of teens his age. Curious yet apprehensive, he stepped onto the glass walkway. He looked down in amazement through the transparent floor, which gave the dizzying sensation of standing on a cliff edge. He watched the ant-sized pedestrians and matchbox cars below. For the first time since coming to, an unconscious smile touched Chen Nuo’s lips. After a moment’s hesitation, Chen Nuo began observing the nearby crowd, then found his target and walked over.
Chen Nuo approached a man who specialized in taking tourist photos. Initiating the conversation made the young man a little nervous. The seasoned vendor quickly sized up the boy’s naivete and quoted a high price of eighty yuan. The boy considered it for a moment. Though he knew it was a rip-off, he agreed.
When the photographer picked up the Polaroid camera, Chen Nuo suddenly called out, "Wait a minute!"
He hurried to the edge of the observation deck, found what he thought was the best spot for the view, and then took out what was in his bag. Unwrapping the layers of the towel, he carefully took out his grandmother’s portrait in its frame and cradled it in his arms. He offered his most radiant smile to the photographer, whose expression had become somewhat complicated.
"Please, make sure you take a clear picture!"
When it was time to pay, the mercenary photographer hesitated, looking at the naive-looking youth before him.
"Forget it, fifty."
Back inside the tower, Chen Nuo held the freshly taken Polaroid photo, gently fanning it. Every few fans, he couldn’t resist peeking at it. As the image on the photo gradually sharpened, a joyful smile spread across the boy’s lips.
「"My classmates said they went to Shanghai City over the weekend. That Oriental Pearl Tower is so tall, so much fun!"」
"’Little Nuo... study hard, do well on your exams. If you score an eighty on your final exams, Grandma will take you to Shanghai City to eat buns and see the Oriental Pearl Tower, okay?’"
"’Grandma, when can you be discharged from the hospital?’"
"’Grandma can be discharged once your final exams are over. Study hard, understand?’"
「Fanning the photo, the young man clutched it to his chest.」
In the photo, the young man beamed, cradling a black-and-white framed portrait.
"’Grandma, I’ve come to the Oriental Pearl Tower. We’ve come here together...’"
「In his memory, his grandmother’s image was frozen: lying in a hospital ward, wearing a blue patient gown, an IV needle perpetually taped to the back of her hand.」
Her withered hands, with their prominent blue veins. And the pungent smell of disinfectant in the air. The walls of the hospital ward were so white, eerily white. When he sat by her hospital bed doing homework, Grandma would just watch him. As she watched, the old woman would invariably shed a few tears, then quietly turn her head to wipe them away. Chen Nuo had seen it happen a few times, but he never dared to say anything, afraid he might make his grandmother even sadder...
Until that afternoon two years ago, when Grandma finally passed away.
Chen Nuo hadn’t cried at the time. Not a single tear fell. He was in a daze, uncomprehending, as if he didn’t understand what had happened at all. It wasn’t until a few days later, at the funeral home. Looking at his grandmother’s still form during the viewing, Chen Nuo even had an absurd thought. It felt as if Grandma might open her eyes at any moment, beckon him over, run her fingers through his hair, and then, with a beaming smile, pop a fruit candy into his mouth.
But that day...
All of that...
Was gone.
It was all gone.
Never to return.
That morning, as Chen Nuo stood there, the reality finally, sluggishly, began to sink in: the old woman who used to go out early each morning with her market basket. The old woman who would bring him back wontons in an enamel mug for breakfast. The grandmother who would smile and watch him do his homework while she shelled edamame.
She would no longer warm tangerines by the stove in winter and hand them to him, peeled.
She would no longer scold him loudly in summer when he was mischievous and scraped his knee.
She would no longer trudge to school for his parent-teacher meetings, her steps unsteady. And afterwards, when he felt guilty about poor exam results, she would no longer comb his hair with her withered hands.
She would no longer, when he wistfully eyed other children eating creamy ice cream bars but didn’t dare ask for one, joyfully pull out the money wrapped in her handkerchief. She wouldn’t pinch out a bill, hand it to him, and say...
"’Go on, buy one. Grandma wants some too. Grandma will eat it with you.’"
But when he actually bought one and returned, laughing, she would smile, revealing her gappy teeth, and say:
"’You eat it, Little Nuo. Grandma’s old. My teeth aren’t good enough for cold things.’"
「That day, Chen Nuo understood: she was gone.」
At that time, she was just resting quietly in the small wooden box he held.
In the summer of 1997, Chen Nuo learned something.
The person in this world who cared for him most, who loved him most deeply. And at the same time, the only person in this world who truly cared for him, the only one who truly loved him.
She, was gone.
From then on, in this vast world, amidst the endless sea of people, he was utterly alone.
「Cradling the ’photo’ with his grandmother, sitting on a chair in the Oriental Pearl Tower, a faint smile touched the young man’s lips.」
Then, tears began to roll, one after another, down his cheeks.
"’Grandma, I made it to the Oriental Pearl Tower. We came here together...’"
[I’m sorry, that’s all for today. I can’t write anymore.]
[I cried like an idiot halfway through writing this Chapter.]
[Everything Chen Nuo’s grandmother does in this Chapter are things my own maternal grandmother once did for me.]
[I dedicate this Chapter to the memory of my maternal grandmother.]