After Hei Feng left the great hall, he first returned to his room to write a flying letter to his uncle, and then packed his luggage and set off for Hanshan.
In this great hall, seeing that all matters had been settled, my worried heart finally began to calm down.
Lin'er, seeing that I was still not entirely at ease, invited me to take a walk in the garden. I agreed.
After leaving the great hall, we walked towards the garden. Seeing that no one was around, Lin'er suddenly asked,
"What do you think of Helian, Your Majesty?"
When it came to Helian, I had a lot of praise for her.
"Helian is thoughtful and considerate. I am usually busy with this and that, and many of my daily affairs are not handled well. Thanks to Helian, I can still wake up on time."
"Then what are your feelings for Helian, Your Majesty?"
"A good friend, perhaps. Why are you suddenly asking this today?"
I found his words increasingly strange.
Lin'er, having received his answer, then boldly suggested,
"Your Majesty, with the great battle imminent, Helian cannot always accompany us, can she? Why not arrange a marriage for her?"
"A marriage?"
Lin'er was right. Helian needed a place to belong, and she couldn't always be involved in our bloody battles. But who would be suitable?
My gaze involuntarily fell upon Lin'er.
"The Elder mentioned last time that he had no one he liked. Helian is a good person, so I will arrange for her to marry the Elder."
Lin'er, hearing my sincere words, was momentarily stunned, his carefully prepared thoughts thrown into disarray.
He paused for a moment before waving his hand in refusal.
"No, no, no, I still have to follow the main group. How can that be? However, I think there is someone particularly suitable."
"Who?"
"Wu Dao."
"Wu Dao?"
It was then that I vaguely recalled this attendant of Lin'er's from Heishan. After we left Heishan, the place was entrusted to him to manage.
Lin'er explained his reasons for choosing him.
"Wu Dao is currently guarding Heishan, which is far from the battlefield, safe, and quiet. If Helian and Wu Dao were to marry, it would be a happy occasion for all."
I thought about it carefully and felt that his idea was good. Wu Dao was also a responsible and dependable person, definitely worthy of Helian.
"However, Wu Dao is a thousand miles away. This might be a bit difficult to arrange."
Unexpectedly, Lin'er had already thought of everything.
"I sent a letter to Heishan a few days ago. Judging by the date, he should be arriving soon."
"The Elder truly thinks of everything. I will talk to Helian when I return."
Lin'er, seeing my oblivious expression, decided to tell me the truth.
"Your Majesty, do you truly not understand Helian's feelings?"
"What feelings?" I became even more confused.
He pointed it out.
"Haven't you noticed Helian's special feelings for you, Your Majesty? Whether it's her constant presence or her journey from Nanhai City, it far exceeds the bounds of friendship."
"Oh, you mean we've become very good friends."
Lin'er sighed and said, "Helian likes you."
I, however, was unconcerned. "Many people like me; there's nothing to be surprised about."
"It's not admiration, but romantic love."
Hearing this, I found it amusing. "Elder, you are very strange today. Why do you keep teasing me?"
"If Your Majesty doesn't believe me, try asking Helian when you get back."
I still didn't believe him and waved my hand. "You must be lying. How could Helian have such feelings for me?"
"Since Your Majesty doesn't believe me, there's nothing I can do. I shall take my leave now."
"Go ahead."
After parting ways with Lin'er, I returned to my chambers, still chuckling about Lin'er's jokes along the way.
At night, the entire royal palace was quiet. With a few people gone, there was less joy. Everyone was preparing for the arrival of the great battle.
I forgot about the matter after returning to my chambers and simply buried myself in the covers to sleep. Helian, as she did on any ordinary day,
thoughtfully entered the room, thoughtfully tucked me in, and thoughtfully tidied everything in the room. She wished that it could always be this way.
However, there was no "however."
The next morning, I woke up early. As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Helian dozing by my bedside, having stayed up all night.
I was curious as to why she hadn't gone back to sleep. Then I remembered Lin'er's words and thought it impossible. I got up to leave.
Helian groggily opened her eyes. Seeing a figure, she asked, "Your Majesty, where are you going?"
Seeing that she was awake, I walked over and squatted beside her.
"You must still be very sleepy. Sleep here. You don't need to watch over me like this anymore."
She smiled slightly and then shook her head.
I remembered what I had discussed with Lin'er yesterday and spoke to her first.
"Helian, I have arranged a marriage for you. The groom was formerly the Elder's attendant. He is a person of..."
Before I could finish, Helian suddenly became terrified and looked at me in disbelief.
I asked her with some confusion,
"Don't you like him? You can meet him when he arrives."
Helian shook her head frantically and fell to her knees with a thud.
"Helian, what are you doing?" I was startled by her actions.
"Helian only wishes to stay by Your Majesty's side and serve you for a lifetime. I do not wish to marry."
I pulled her up and comforted her.
"I am a person of fighting and killing. Why would you follow me? The person I introduced to you is now the Lord of Heishan. You will surely be very happy if you marry him."
My words were like an invisible sharp knife, piercing her heart little by little. She couldn't help but shed tears.
Seeing her cry, I assumed she didn't want to marry someone she didn't know, so I comforted her.
"Don't worry. If you don't like him when he arrives, I'll send him away and find someone else for you."
Seeing her silent, I thought she had agreed and said,
"It's alright. You can think about it carefully. Tell me when you've made up your mind."
With that, I got up to leave. She suddenly embraced me from behind, and I was startled.
The Ten Thousand Ghost King, sensing a good show was about to unfold, suddenly flew out and hid on the roof beam to spectate.
"He... Helian, what are you... doing?"
At this moment, I remembered Lin'er's words.
"Her love for you is romantic love," and my heart suddenly began to panic.
Helian, shyly stammering, finally managed to say, "Your Majesty, I, I actually have always liked you."
Hearing this, I froze and, feigning ignorance, said,
"Many people like me; it's normal. You don't need to take it to heart."
Unexpectedly, Helian began to passionately recount her feelings.
"I used to think this kind of liking was merely admiration for Your Majesty, but it is not.
Just thinking about Your Majesty's smile makes me happy.
When I cannot see you, I become anxious. I have tried to stop myself, but it's no use.
The more I try not to, the more I think of you. I think this is love."
I listened silently to everything she said, gently pulled her hands away, and adopted a lecturing tone.
"You are a girl, and I am also a girl. How can we be together?
Even if we were together, how could I protect you? A ruler cannot possess emotions."
She listened to my lecture, her head drooping slightly. She forced a smile and pleaded,
"Even if we cannot be together, please let me stay by your side. I will not disturb you, and I will do everything well. Just don't let me leave."
I shook my head.
"It's too dangerous. I don't want you to be in danger, so if you are willing, find someone and leave with them."
Saying this, I turned to leave. She suddenly asked, "Is this the only way?"
"I can't think of any other way for now."
Helian's tears, which she had been trying to hold back, began to fall again.
She pulled out a hairpin from her hair and rushed towards me, blocking the door and holding it shut with her hand, pressing it against her throat to bar my way.
Hearing the commotion, people passed the news from one to another, and they all rushed into the courtyard like the wind, wanting to know what was happening inside.
Liu Shinian, who was not concerned with these matters, came along with everyone else upon hearing that it was something happening in Muyue's room.
Soon, a crowd had gathered in the courtyard.
"Helian, what are you doing!"
Seeing her impulsiveness, I was at a loss for words.
Helian replied helplessly,
"Since you want me to marry someone else, I might as well die here today."
"Can you not live without me?" I asked her somewhat angrily.
"Yes, I cannot live without you. I was an orphan, picked up by someone. You gave me warmth and taught me how to love others.
I don't think I will ever meet anyone as warm and considerate as you."
I still tried to persuade her.
"You can consider me your confidante, your friend. Falling in love with me was a mistake. I cannot be with you."
"I know. I don't even have the right to stand by your side. I used to fantasize, what if you were a man?
Then I could stay by your side openly, whether as a wife or a concubine, I would have no regrets.
However, it is impossible. Fantasies are just fantasies. Then I hope for a next life. In the next life, I must be a man and guard you for a lifetime."
Liu Shinian, listening to all this outside the door, suddenly felt a sense of desolation. He hadn't expected anyone to like Muyue more than he did.
Everyone listened to Helian's sincere and heartfelt words, and tears welled up in their eyes.
Sister Liu had known her secret for a long time. She also knew that this love was doomed to have no outcome, but she hadn't expected it to come to this.
After Helian finished speaking, she was about to commit suicide on the spot, but the Ten Thousand Ghost King intervened in time, knocking the hairpin from her hand.
Helian, overcome with grief, collapsed to the ground. I rushed forward to help her up and asked,
"Is it worth it?"
"It is worth it."
These two simple words conveyed her resolve.
I sighed helplessly, while the Ten Thousand Ghost King added a finishing touch.
"Another one loves to death. Alas, what is love in this world, that it makes people pursue each other through life and death."
With that, he flew back into my body.
The crowd outside the door, having heard everything inside, dared not push the door open until Lin'er arrived in a hurry.
He had known this would be the outcome and had deliberately arrived late, allowing them to say what they needed to say.
He walked to the door and knocked.
"Your Majesty, how is it?"
"Come in."
He then pushed open the door. At this moment, everyone saw the scene.
I sat on the ground, holding Helian, while Helian's hair was disheveled, and her hairpin lay discarded to the side.
They did not find such love shameful. Instead, they were moved by Helian's bravery and sincerity.
Everyone has the right to love, and love knows no gender or age.
I picked up Helian and carried her back to the bed. Lin'er watched and asked about my plans.
"What are Your Majesty's plans?"
"Let her leave. I cannot even protect myself, how can I protect her? Moreover, I only consider her a friend."
Hearing my decision, he said no more, but turned and walked out, shooing away the crowd who were still spectating.
Then, he closed the main door and was about to leave. However, he then noticed Liu Shinian, who was still standing foolishly at the door, gazing inside.
Lin'er felt helpless and guessed that he too was a devoted lover. He walked over to Liu Shinian and patted him on the shoulder.
"Do you want to know what Your Majesty said to me?"
Liu Shinian finally came back to his senses and asked, "What did she say?"
"Your Majesty said that she and Helian are just friends."
Although he knew this would be the outcome, Liu Shinian could not be happy. He retorted,
"If Helian were a man, would Muyue have fallen in love with her?"
"It's hard to say. But Helian is truly brave."
Liu Shinian sighed helplessly and then turned to leave.
Lin'er watched Liu Shinian's receding back and sighed helplessly.
"Alas, one is contemplating death, and the other is dejected. This day has been so worrying for you all."
Saying this, he slowly left the courtyard.
After coming out, Liu Shinian happened to encounter Yue Jiucao and Sister Liu, who had not yet gone far.
Yue Jiucao, seeing his low spirits, curiously asked, "Shinian, what's wrong?"
Liu Shinian raised his head slightly, forcing a weak smile. "Nothing. Perhaps I'm just bored without anyone to drink with."
"I can drink with you."
At this moment, Feng Xiaoyi also walked over, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I can accompany you too."
Liu Shinian smiled slightly and looked at Sister Liu. "I'm afraid if I want to go, your Sister Liu might not agree."
Sister Liu generously stated, "If he wants to go, let him. If I have nothing to do, I can do some needlework."
"You heard that. I can go," Yue Jiucao said proudly.
"Forget it. You should stay with your Sister Liu. She must be lonely by herself."
Liu Shinian said this with a look of melancholy in his eyes, as if speaking to Yue Jiucao, or perhaps to someone else.
Saying this, he walked forward with Feng Xiaoyi, arm in arm. "Alright, we're leaving."
Yue Jiucao's suspicion was aroused by Liu Shinian's strange behavior today. "I don't think he's just feeling down."
Sister Liu, looking at his serious and analytical silly demeanor, couldn't help but laugh. "You don't need to think about these things. However, you can call it unrequited love, or being at a loss."
Yue Jiucao listened, utterly bewildered. "Unrequited love, at a loss?"
"Alas, I told you you don't understand. Let's go." Saying this, she pulled him back to their residence.
Alas, those who love and those who don't, all cannot escape the word "情" (qing - emotion/love).
While I marveled at Helian's bravery, was it truly worth it for someone who did not love her?
Perhaps it was worth it, at least she saw it. Perhaps it was not worth it; he ultimately did not love her.