He's not dead!
His hand was warm.
He was still alive!
The Empress Dowager had little strength left, perhaps all of it was spent in shock.
She lowered her head, looking at the white-robed man kneeling by the bed. Shock, astonishment, disbelief, and finally, her gaze became incredibly complex.
But Feng Dingchu seemed not to notice any of this. He knelt before her and softly called out, "Mother, your son has returned."
He had truly returned.
The Empress Dowager's hand began to tremble violently.
Her complexion also rapidly turned sallow.
More withered and jaundiced than before.
After an unknown amount of time, the Empress Dowager managed to regain some breath. She had recovered.
"It's good that you've returned..."
"Mother, aren't you going to ask why your son returned alive?" Feng Dingchu smiled faintly, but the smile was tinged with bitterness.
The Empress Dowager's gaze was gentle, her hand resting on his hair.
After all these years, her Ah Jiu hadn't changed at all. He still looked the same, but there was a lack of luster in his eyes.
Though he appeared refined and elegant, he carried an aura of desolation.
She opened her mouth, her breathing becoming difficult, but it was clear she was trying to hold onto her last breath just to speak a few words with Feng Dingchu.
"I won't ask... It's good that Ah Jiu is back. This empress dowager is happy, and I won't ask anything."
"Ah Jiu, it was... this empress dowager's fault back then. I know I was wrong. These years, I have always been thinking of you."
"Ah Jiu, this empress dowager truly misses you."
It was true, she missed this son dearly, so very much.
From the strength of her grip, it was easy to see how much she missed him.
Missing him was enough. No matter what she wanted to do, past, present, or future, it no longer mattered.
His life had been one of wandering and rootlessness. Perhaps, in the end, only this sliver of familial affection remained.
Even if it was just a tiny bit.
"Nanny..." the Empress Dowager called out.
Nanny Jin had heard everything from within but dared not enter.
She had never dreamed that Prince Jiu would actually return alive!
All her shock was kept within. Nanny Jin knew that the Empress Dowager could only rely on her now, so she immediately got up from the ground and walked in.
"Your Majesty... greetings to Prince Jiu."
Feng Dingchu ignored her, not wanting to acknowledge her.
Nanny Jin did not dare to look up at his face; she was afraid.
"Nanny, my Ah Jiu has returned. He suffered so much... outside. This empress dowager's heart aches."
The Empress Dowager took a deep breath, and two tears slid down her eyes again.
"Nanny, prepare something delicious for my Ah Jiu... for my Ah Jiu, quickly..."
Feng Dingchu's fingertips stiffened, and the last trace of warmth in his eyes completely vanished.
Must it be like this?
After so many years, on her deathbed, she still couldn't let go, still plotting for others?
Nanny Jin trembled with fear, but seeing Prince Jiu, he seemed to show no reaction.
Nanny Jin could only lower her head and retreat. Soon, she returned with a stack of pastries that had been on the table.
"Your Majesty..."
"Come, come..." The Empress Dowager glanced at Nanny Jin, and with just that one look, she understood everything.
She beckoned, using her last bit of strength, and raised her hand: "Bring them over, bring them over, Nanny. I... I want to feed my Ah Jiu myself."