"You don't need to blame yourself," Xie Chen comforted. "With this experience, you'll be more cautious in the future."
Qi Zhenzhen hummed in agreement. "It's getting late. I should be going back. After dinner, I'll formally pay my respects to you, Uncle."
With that, she curtsied to Xie Chen and quickly departed.
Xie Chen watched Qi Zhenzhen's retreating figure for a moment before continuing towards the back mountain.
He was very familiar with this place. In his youth, he would spend time at Taihe Temple with his mother every year. While his mother and Aunt Qin listened to the abbot lecture, he would take A Xue to the back mountain. Sometimes they would admire flowers, sometimes they would catch fish by the stream, and occasionally they would hunt small game, roast it, and eat it in secret.
Those times were truly idyllic.
Back then, Xie Chen had thought that after he married A Xue, they would also come to Taihe Temple every year and continue doing the same things they did in their youth.
He had always believed that when the time was right, A Xue would marry him.
But then...
Xie Chen couldn't help but recall his timid and shy confession on A Xue's coming-of-age day.
A Xue's fair face was filled with surprise, and her brows even showed a hint of embarrassment.
"Xie Chen, I've always thought of you as a brother."
"I pretend I didn't hear what you said today."
"Xie Chen, I've come of age. We shouldn't meet casually anymore."
"Xie Chen, I have someone I like. He's a young general with brilliant military achievements."
Xie Chen could barely remember how he left the Qin manor that day. He only felt as if a large chunk of his heart had been gouged out with a knife after A Xue said those words. For years, that space remained empty, and whenever he thought of A Xue, the pain was so intense he could barely breathe.
After returning from the Qin manor, he fell gravely ill. In his mother's words, he had brushed past the gates of hell. If not for his strong constitution, Xie Chen would no longer be in this world.
Even so, he still couldn't let go of A Xue.
His parents, angered yet unable to bear seeing him suffer so, approached Uncle and Aunt Qin again about the marriage.
Uncle and Aunt Qin were agreeable, but A Xue refused.
Xie Chen knew her character best. She appeared delicate, but she was stubborn at heart.
Fearing he might do something uncontrollable if he stayed in the capital, he volunteered for service in the Southern Border.
While it wasn't the same as Gu Changwei earning military merits on the battlefield, it was similar. The Southern Border was chaotic, with no major battles but constant skirmishes.
You like a military man, so I'll strive to become one.
That was Xie Chen's thought at the time.
Later, Xie Chen understood one thing.
He was not Gu Changwei, so even if he truly became a military officer, he would never be the person A Xue liked.
But what good was understanding?
He still couldn't control his heart; he still couldn't let her go.
When he saw A Xue yesterday, he even felt that heaven was pitying him.
Otherwise, why would he have encountered A Xue so soon after returning to the capital?
But thinking of A Xue's flustered evasion, Xie Chen felt a dull ache in his heart.
Then, considering the information he had gathered, he felt even more heartache for A Xue.
A Xue was such a wonderful person; how could Gu Changwei not cherish her? Thinking of the rumors about the Duke of Huguo's manor, Xie Chen wished he could kill Gu Changwei. He regretted not being more willful, not being more persistent back then. Given the families' relationship, if he hadn't let go, there would have been a chance for the marriage.
He would not be leaving again for a while after his return this time. He would protect A Xue well, ensuring she wouldn't be bullied again.
Whether she was willing or not, he would protect her.
Yuan Jue called him a fool, so he would be a fool. In this life, one shouldn't live against their own heart; what meaning would there be in such a life?