About the Dream Merle Had in the Last Chapter
Maintaining awareness during sleep is a basic quality of an assassin. When I opened my eyes, I realized my reaction was still a little slow.
The figure sitting by my bed had already placed a hand above my forehead, stroking the top of my head.
The sensation was very familiar; it was the way Shai-ba touched my head, just like always.
"You're awake, Merle." Shai-ba's calm tone was also as usual.
No, something was slightly different, or rather, wrong. Why was Shai-ba sitting by my bed? And...
I looked around. This was my cat cafe, not a hospital.
Excluding the possibility of a sudden illness or injury, what could have happened to make Shai-ba sit here?
Ah, the white-haired, blue-eyed cat in my arms was gone. Where did it go?
I tried to sit up to look for it, but Shai-ba, another large white-haired, blue-eyed cat, held my shoulders, stopping me.
"Did something happen, Father?" I remembered my initial question.
"Merle." Shai-ba moved his lips.
This was the second time he had called me by name. I wasn't sure if it was because of the dim indoor light, but I felt his gaze was different from usual, more scrutinizing and probing, like a nocturnal beast hunting, reflecting a faint blue light. This was by no means a friendly signal, and it made me alert.
He immediately realized my wariness, smiled slightly, and seemed to have no intention of concealing it further.
"Merleese." The hunter grinned, revealing sharp teeth. "Do you know why I didn't let you join the dragon-drawing game and gave you this name exclusively?"
"..." I felt him increase the pressure on my shoulders.
"Merle, from the moment you were born, I knew you weren't my daughter in the true sense of the word," he said. "You can only be considered half. Since Kyo-shu likes you, then keep you. After all, raising one more person is about the same to us as raising one more cat."
The small white-haired, blue-eyed cat that had disappeared from my arms leaped onto his lap. He released the hand holding my shoulders and lowered his head to pet the cat. His long hair was similar in color to the cat's fur, both silver-white, making them indistinguishable when mixed together. I suddenly had a ridiculous thought, suspecting this Shai-ba was fake, a human form transformed from the cat, playing a prank on me—no spirits allowed to become spirits after the founding of the country, hey!
The small white-haired, blue-eyed cat was enjoying his petting, lifting its head, narrowing its eyes, and obediently lowering its tail, which usually stuck up when it walked.
Shai-ba was quite skilled at petting cats. Perhaps the rumors were true? He must have also petted that little cat that liked to wander around.
I watched the cat enjoying the petting with full attention until Shai-ba nudged its hindquarters. The cat seemed to snap out of a daze and ran off with his push.
Ah, I wanted to pet it too.
I tried to sit up, but Shai-ba held my shoulders again, preventing me from succeeding.
Not only that, but I noticed I wasn't as energetic as usual, lacking drive, and feeling extremely fatigued. Even if Shai-ba hadn't exerted any force, I felt I wouldn't be able to sit up.
"Did something happen, Father?" I could only ask again.
"Do you think you have the right to call me 'Father'?" Shai-ba retorted.
"Then are you here to kill me?" I calmed down and called him by his name. "...Shai-ba?"
Shai-ba didn't answer. The hand on my shoulder turned to stroke the top of my head, just as he had stroked the small white-haired, blue-eyed cat earlier, meticulously, gently, and attentively.
"..." I knew this was the final wait before execution. I felt no warmth in it.
"Merle." Shai-ba stopped stroking my head and pointed his index finger at my forehead, then drew down to my nose. "You are different from my sons. Some of them resemble their birth mothers, while others resemble me. As for you, I know you don't want to resemble me, but you don't resemble your birth mother either. Seventeen years have passed, and you still don't resemble us."
"Merle, you resemble yourself more." Shai-ba's index finger landed on my lips, a gesture similar to shushing me, seemingly not wanting an answer from me. "You are different from us. You are not a cat, nor a leopard, nor a tiger, nor a lion. You are not any feline. You are a white-eyed wolf. Am I right?"
I suddenly opened my mouth and bit his index finger.
"Merle, you bit this finger last time too." Shai-ba didn't take my limited biting force seriously, and indeed, there was no need to. His index finger was harder than a steel bar. "You were still in the process of teething then. You were so small, you could be held in one hand. I had to carefully control my strength."
Completely unable to bite through his index finger, I gnawed at it with my teeth, treating his finger as a chew toy.
"Merle, I haven't seen how well your new teeth have grown." He easily pulled back his index finger, pinched both sides of my chin, and carefully examined my teeth.
"..."
Shai-ba raised his other hand, his fingertip touching my canine teeth. I had two canine teeth on the top and two on the bottom, sharp but not long, not affecting my appearance.
"You can't hurt me even a little bit, Merle." He pressed the pad of his finger against the tip of my canine teeth and chuckled softly, his laughter filled with villainous intent, much like the voice he used in the original story after letting Killua leave home. "You can't even hurt me, Merle."
Merle, Merle, Merle, Merle, Merle, Merle... He called my name in almost every sentence, as familiar as calling a dog he raised, casually dropping it.
I tried with all my might to sit up from the bed, but my whole body was weak and disobedient, even my anger felt somewhat powerless.
"Time passes so quickly, Merle." Shai-ba sighed. "In the blink of an eye, you've grown up without me noticing."
"Merle, did you like the 'toys' we gave you? You clearly know those 'toys' weren't cheap. You've already broken three. Do you like them a lot, or not at all?" Shai-ba began to stroke the top of my head again. "Merle, what do you like the most? Do you... like someone like me?"
His last sentence made me hold my breath.
I stared at his vertical pupils, which resembled those of a beast.
"Is that so?" he said with a sigh. "Merle, is this your answer?"
"You are my weakness, Merle."
"Am I your weakness too, Merle?"
Several words are omitted here.
Dreams are illogical idealism; scenes don't necessarily have to be continuous. Whatever the person believes it to be, that's what it is.
The richer the imagination, the more real the dream. Otherwise, it becomes a simplified cognition akin to written narration, with a chaotic visual field.
Fragmented moments, logically flawed sequences, jumbled camera cuts, and chaotic editing would be considered a terrible film from any other perspective. Only from a first-person viewpoint, ignoring all anomalies, is the dream the most captivating scene.
So hot.
So hot.
So hot.
I felt like I was sweating.
The scene grew blurrier, and my consciousness became more and more hazy.
I dreamed of every cat in the cat cafe, of the "toys" I had broken, and of many, many ineffable things.
Among them, I seemed to hear Kyo-shu screaming, saying no, no, Merle, you can't do this, you can't do this, I'm going to kill you.
"Shut up." Shai-ba commanded.
Kyo-shu's voice disappeared, and I felt even hotter.
Everything felt like scratching an itch through a boot.
Uncomfortable.
Anxious.
Confused.
I aimlessly shouted meaningless content in my dream.
My dream might have been too bizarre. Upon waking, I experienced sleep paralysis and couldn't get up for quite a while.
Ahem, dreams and reality are different. Perhaps the pressure has been too much lately?
A dream is still a dream.
If I could have a similar dream again, it wouldn't be entirely impossible.
The lingering warmth from the dream hadn't dissipated. I lay in the bathtub, spending more time to completely dissipate the remaining heat.