As a standard scumbag, I used work as an excuse to escape Kikyo's endless nagging, and it always worked.
Kikyo wasn't foolish enough to not see through my excuse, but she wasn't unreasonable either. She could understand "career first." In that regard, she was a sensible wife. She chose to treat Alluka as a substitute, dressing Alluka up like a doll, to compensate for her loss of control over me.
"Mel," Kikyo said gently, like a true noblewoman, her demeanor serene. "Come home early, don't linger outside too long."
Nodding to her, I exited her afternoon tea party.
The excuse of being busy with work wasn't entirely my fault. Since Killua was three, most of his training was handled by Illumi. This was the top priority for the Zoldyck family, so Illumi's external workload was mostly transferred to me.
I strongly suspected that Illumi actively coaxed me back to the Zoldyck family to resume my duties was to help share his workload, giving him more time and energy to educate Killua.
Some low-level tasks that seemed like overkill for the Zoldyck Bosses always needed someone to do them, like me, a基层 employee.
The Zoldyck family's number one tool, turns out, is myself.jpg
The extra digits in my bank account were my greatest comfort and joy. These weren't the pitiful four-digit sums that were easily visible in the "real world." Here, it was a minimum of eight figures, a fortune I only dreamed of in the "real world," numbers I had to count on my fingers to confirm the exact quantity.
Oh boy, making big money is just so addictive.
The dense forest of Mt. Kukuroo obscured the excessive sunlight. Walking on the forest path, I felt exceptionally refreshed and comfortable. Slowing my pace, I took a slightly longer route before leisurely arriving at the heliport. I chose the airship closest to me. As soon as I stepped onto the boarding ladder, I felt something and turned to look at the distance.
"..." I took three steps at once, walked to the top of the ladder, crossed the cabin door, and pressed the switch to retract the boarding ladder.
Damn it, the ladder retracted too slowly. I couldn't close the cabin door in time, and the person just jumped aboard, remarking without any self-awareness, "Ah, that was close, almost didn't make it."
Suppressing the urge to immediately kick the person out, I mouthed the question, asking what was wrong.
"I have a mission too," Illumi didn't stand on ceremony with me, closing the cabin door casually, and walked into the airship as if it were only natural. "It's on the way to my sister's destination, let's go together. It'll save on fuel costs."
"..." You are truly a good son of Silva, thrifty and diligent, a true heir of Silva.
Illumi entered the cockpit first. I saw him set my destination, then added a waypoint, which was likely where he would disembark.
After the airship successfully took off, it could be put on auto-pilot. I crossed my arms, waiting for Illumi's next move.
If he stayed in the cockpit, I would go to the passenger cabin. If he went to the passenger cabin, I would stay in the cockpit.
I didn't want to be in the same room with him alone anymore.
Last time, in the interrogation room, he rammed his forehead into my abdomen, pushing me onto the sink. My attempts to step on his shoulders were futile, so I had to [equip] the voice-emitting device and call out to him to stop. Because of my difficulty breathing, the sound that came out was somewhat choppy. He didn't look up but accurately grabbed the most nerve-dense part of my thigh, which was both numb and painful. The conflicting sensations mixed together, creating chaos and dizziness. I bit my lip, and before my brain could turn into mush, I [unequipped] the voice-emitting device.
The part of my thigh with the most nerves is also the part with the most capillaries. Later, when I showered, I saw several clear purplish-blue bruises left behind, very noticeable. They only disappeared two days later. Damn it, Illumi really hit hard, he was like a mad dog.
"The game today, Sister and Mother are watching together, right?" Illumi stared at the parameters of the cockpit instruments.
Due to the wind, the numbers above weren't very stable.
Not hearing my answer, Illumi turned his head to look at me and continued, "You also think the result was a shame, don't you?"
"..." I didn't see the end of Illumi and Killua's hide-and-seek game. I had been distracted the entire time and didn't know how to answer his question.
"If only they had spent a little more time." Like Kikyo, Illumi didn't mind my silence and continued on his own. "But Father thinks 'too much is as bad as too little.' They like to use this phrase a lot, Sister must have heard it many times too."
"..." I had heard it many times. They leaned towards restraint, or rather, absolute rationality.
For example, one shouldn't forget the benefits of saving fuel costs just because of personal preference, like kicking Illumi off the airship... I'm kidding.
"Killua is already three years old, he can't lose at the starting line," Illumi said. "Following Father's advice, I revised Killua's schedule again, but it was still rejected, stating that the rest time was arranged too little. This is unreasonable. Twelve hours of sleep in total, two hours during the day and ten hours at night, isn't that enough?"
"..." The remaining twelve hours seamlessly connected to various learning schedules, 365 days a year without a break. Forget a three-year-old child; I think even an average adult would go insane living like that every day.
Silva, at least, had a normal perception. Illumi was truly messed up. He wasn't human. He had been extremely passionate about learning since childhood, unilaterally initiating a competitive environment that caused me to suffer for no reason.
"If my plan were followed completely, Killua would definitely become a more outstanding Zoldyck," Illumi sighed, a rare occurrence. "Father gave me a rather troublesome mission, and I probably won't be able to return home for a month."
"..." Good! Silva, you did a great job! Thumbs up! Awesome!
Mt. Kukuroo would definitely become a more beautiful place with a more pleasant climate without Illumi! For the month Illumi is away, I will resolutely refuse any missions and stay home to play with my beloved Killua!
My happiness was too obvious. Illumi didn't seem displeased, but his tone was one of confusion, "Sister, don't you support my educational theories?"
"..." Where did you get the confidence to think I would support your bullshit educational theories?!
"Sister also likes Killua, so of course you want Killua to become better, right?"
"..."
"Then you should support me."
"..."
Sorry, I can't comprehend Illumi's bizarre thought process.
I raised my arms and crossed them into a big "X," signifying refusal. Then I waved my hand at him, indicating I didn't want to listen to his nonsense anymore, and turned to walk towards the passenger cabin. Listening to Kikyo's nagging on Mt. Kukuroo was enough to make my ears itch; I definitely didn't want to listen to Kikyo's son nag anymore, he was so annoying.
"Sister," Illumi's voice came from behind me. He followed me out of the cockpit, clearly not done chatting. He was so talkative, just like his mother. I wish he could be more like his father, Silva!
The airship was just this big. We saw each other no matter what. I regretted the fuel-saving idea.
Without looking back, I quickened my pace. Illumi also quickened his pace. We chased each other, walking rapidly through the passenger cabin, maintaining a distance of over a meter. The situation was comparable to boxers who move around the periphery of the ring.
Finally, I stopped and held up my hand, signaling him not to approach me any further.
"?" Illumi tilted his head. "Then why did Sister speed up in the first place?"
"..." I waved at him, signaling him to stay away from me.
He dismissively lifted his foot but retracted it slightly under my tense demeanor, taking only half a step towards me.
"What's wrong all of a sudden?" Illumi asked. "Sister, you're really hard to understand sometimes."
"..." Likewise, I'll give that line back to you!
I herded him to the seats in the corner of the passenger cabin and sat down in another corner, crossing my arms and staring at him with an expression that kept everyone at bay. Anyone with the slightest bit of perceptiveness would avoid me. This was the kind of aura I projected when encountering advertisers or salespeople on the street; they would consciously avoid me.
Unfortunately, Illumi wasn't like that. It wasn't that he lacked perceptiveness, but rather that he didn't care about my feelings; he was a genuine trash person.
Sitting down with a seat between us, not next to me, was a meager display of his emotional intelligence.
"Mother said..."
Here we go, the classic "mother's boy" opening line. It was too strong.
"Sister, you've had something on your mind lately?" Illumi shifted the topic from Killua to me.
Give me a break! You might as well continue promoting your excellent educational policies for Killua! I'll just selectively block it out anyway, in one ear and out the other.
"It won't affect your work efficiency, will it?" Illumi asked with concern.
"..." Are you my superior at work?! You little brat! So your primary concern is work?!
"The place you're going this time has a highly-rated dessert shop. I think Sister will like it."
"..."
"I'm very interested, and my brothers would probably like it too. Sister, you won't have to spend time picking out souvenirs when you go home; you can just check it out there." Illumi held up one index finger. "By the way, I like the sponge cake they sell there."
"..." Such specific advice. You're not just "very interested," you've already eaten it, haven't you?!
Illumi, this unrecyclable piece of large-scale trash, doesn't care about anyone; he only cares about himself!
Silva! How could you give birth to such a mongrel!
Alas, I have a headache from anger.
I turned my head away, supporting my forehead with my hand.
Remembering how I'd been watching worldly resources at the internet cafe recently, I decided to look at handsome male and beautiful female combinations to relieve stress. However, the more I watched, the more I couldn't help but recall my failed attempt at the interrogation room. When the male in the resource buried his face in the female's body during a warm-up, the scene was too similar. I instantly superimposed Illumi onto the male character in the resource, and immediately felt terrible, losing all interest.
Although Illumi's face is well-proportioned, he's a typical example of "values follow looks," but having lived under the same roof as him for over a decade, I'm sick of looking at him. The attractiveness filter has greatly weakened. Coupled with the accumulated resentment I have for him over the years, his inner ugliness surpasses his looks. I can no longer tolerate his scumbag nature!
If I'm going to be a scumbag villain whose "values follow looks," I'd rather choose Chrollo or Hisoka!
I want to sleep with them and then run away!
No, no, no. Illumi hasn't been destroyed by me, so have I lost my worldly desires first? Based on my personal experience in the "real world," depression often begins with the loss of desire.
It's too bad. After the worldly resources, I even find gourmet food tasteless. Electric therapy is also somewhat ineffective. That's why I often find myself spacing out this month. Only by immersing myself in work to distract myself can I alleviate my condition.
Illumi is different. Based on my covert observations, his behavior and mental state haven't changed at all. Everything proves that my interrogation of him caused him no substantial harm.
His attitude towards me is no different than before. He hasn't become closer or more distant. When I test his physical boundaries, he hasn't shown any increased vigilance or any other special emotions; he's completely indifferent.
I've considered countless follow-ups: revenge, or being reported. I never expected him to act as if nothing had happened, doing nothing. I suspect he might have amnesia, or I'm hallucinating... No, I haven't destroyed the criminal evidence in my game inventory. It reminds me that the mutual questioning in the interrogation room actually happened.
I should be fortunate that he no longer mentions it after my failed attempt, but...
Why am I the only one suffering? This is unfair!
Yes, Illumi looks down on me. He doesn't care at all about what I did to him. He's probably gay.
No, if he were gay, he should hate contact with the opposite sex; severely, he would feel disgusted.
He's actually enduring his physiological aversion to me?!
Oh, I see. If it's only aversion, without other complex emotions, processing and suppressing it would be very simple. No wonder Illumi can remain so composed.
I've found Illumi's weakness. In other words, something that causes him physiological aversion, and that is the opposite sex!
Hisoka is Illumi's final destination. In the fanfiction community, Illumi's x Hisoka fanfiction has millions of confused wives crying.
I get it!
Very good, I'm gradually understanding everything.
First, I'll play it cool and try to gauge his reaction to the questioning session last month.
I turned my head and looked at Illumi, mouthing the question, asking if he'd forgotten something.
He thought carefully and said he didn't think he'd forgotten anything.
I had to resort to the most direct approach, saying he had torn my clothes last month.
"Oh?" Illumi didn't deny it. "Oh, that. I'll pay for it. Both items, how much?"
"..." He remembers it super clearly, doesn't he?!
I pressed him for his thoughts.
"Thoughts?" Illumi asked. "What thoughts?"
"What are your thoughts on what I did to you?" I mouthed.
"...Oh," Illumi said flatly. "No thoughts."
No flaws, I have to give him something more impactful.
I stood up and then sat on his lap, placing my hands on his shoulders.
"?" Illumi's rhythm was successfully disrupted, his face filled with confusion. "What's wrong?"
[Unequipped] the skirt, leaving only the underskirt.
"???" Illumi's confusion deepened.
I hugged his waist, rubbing my cheeks and neck against him. He remained completely unmoved.
I tried to reach into his clothes, and he caught my hand, so I [equipped] the voice-emitting device.
"Illumi, I want you. Very much," I whispered into his ear. "I want you now."
"...Okay." He let go of my hand, placing one hand on the back of my waist and the other moving upwards, reaching my nape, and then further up.
[Alert Level: 5]
I suddenly moved away from him.
He wants... to give me an injection?!
Finally, the fox's tail is showing. Sticking needles into people's heads is his usual trick. Having read countless fanfictions, I've been prepared for this! I self-examine at least three times a day!
Now I'm even more certain that Illumi is gay! Following the general "mouth says no, body says yes" trope, bodily reactions are beyond conscious control. I've been rubbing against him for a while, and I'm not ugly. Wouldn't a normal heterosexual person have some special reaction?! Something hot, something hard! From our close contact just now, I'm sure he had absolutely no special reaction. He just tensed up and entered a state of alert.
He's too difficult to handle. Conventional methods can't elicit a special reaction from him.
Not only that, but he even tried to take the opportunity to give me acupuncture in the head. He's truly not a good person.
"Hey... Illu." I went all out, grabbing the hem of my skirt with both hands and slowly pulling it up, saying with a wronged tone, "Do you really... have no feelings for me at all?"
"..." Illumi, who was always expressionless, actually frowned.
He finds me disgusting, that's how much he dislikes me?!
Is this the response I get from a 100% pure gay man?!
At that time, by the sink, I didn't need to resist. He was just using seemingly excessive actions to scare me away. I failed to see through his true intentions.
Don't waste time trying to "straighten" a pure gay man. I know I don't have that ability. Bored, I let go of the skirt and [equipped] my original skirt again.
Illumi stood up and said he was going to the restroom.
I leaned against the doorframe and could only hear the gushing sound of the faucet. It was a crude method, but it effectively masked other sounds.
Damn it, no matter how gay a gay person is, they wouldn't really vomit from contact with the opposite sex.
...It's a little bit of a blow to my self-esteem.
The "most beautiful cat" of the Zoldyck family. This setting has always been my personal boast; no one else has ever praised me like that.
My aesthetic sense shouldn't be a problem, right?
Could it be that I'm just narcissistic?
The narcissist is me?!
Actually, my appearance type in this world doesn't conform to mainstream aesthetics. Or perhaps, "I" was beautiful when I was young, but as "I" grew older, "I" became unattractive... Forget pure gay men, even ordinary straight men might not be interested in me?!
Ultimately, I've been perfectly single for sixteen years in this world. No one has ever seriously pursued me, not one. No men, no women.
When I was little, there were at least a few perverted individuals who showed interest in "me." Unknowingly, "I" not only lost the advantage of a specific age, but "I" had also become unattractive. Today, I've finally discovered this cruel truth.
I bit my finger, filled with grief and a chilling sensation.
No, after finishing this mission, I need to find a way to verify my current character charm value.