The effectiveness of giving Mikan a figurine was significant; he couldn't help but ask if I could bring him another anime character doll the next time I went out.
I sincerely told him that dolls of that quality were not cheap and it was good enough to give him one occasionally. Your sister is only an 11-year-old child and doesn't have that much spare money. I suggested he save his allowance to buy it himself.
Mikan's enthusiasm for dolls surpassed my expectations. He couldn't wait to save money obediently and made a request to Kikyo. In exchange, he promised to train even harder every day.
Although his motive wasn't noble, this development was too inspirational. When ordinary 4-year-olds ask their parents for things, they usually resort to acting cute or throwing tantrums, right?
Perhaps Mikan was indeed training too hard, because he fell ill and developed a fever of thirty-eight degrees. He became the first child in the Zoldyck family to get sick and have a fever in my memory.
The other members of the Zoldyck family were more or less surprised by Mikan's illness. Even for children whose physical condition was not as good as adults, getting sick and having a fever seemed like a rare occurrence in a family of monsters.
In my "real world" childhood, I often suffered from bronchial asthma during the change of seasons. I would be on IV drips for a week, and it wasn't until middle school that I became healthy and no longer worried about seasonal changes.
Here, I haven't gotten sick once so far, not even a common cold. Since Illumi was the same, I didn't pay much attention to it.
If Mikan hadn't fallen ill, I would have thought that Zoldyck children didn't get sick.
Illumi regretfully stated that he had only increased Mikan's training difficulty to his own standards back then. Kikyo believed that problems needed to be approached gradually. Mikan himself felt that he could succeed if he put in his best effort.
Poor Mikan, according to the original work, you are not suited for the martial path. In the end, you embarked on the path of a tech enthusiast.
In the original work, the Zoldycks did not give up on Mikan and raised him until he was six years old before having their next son, Kalluto. Because Kalluto's talent was astonishing, the Zoldycks felt they had completed the task of selecting the heir for this generation and then had children casually.
In order not to disrupt the original plot, I won't be so presumptuous as to offer opinions like "Mikan's true calling." I should be worried that my meditation has had no effect so far, and learning "Nen" later might not go smoothly, which makes me anxious.
Never mind, I'll learn "Nen" eventually, right? I haven't seen anyone in the original work who couldn't learn "Nen" without being taught.
Should I focus on practicing basic skills and doing missions? Doing these two things for too long is indeed tedious. Just as Kalluto told Gon in the original work, he always did these things according to his family's arrangements, and his life was monotonous. He had no chance to make friends, let alone go on dates with the opposite sex.
Going out on missions with Silva or Zeno was novel the first few times, but it became boring after a while. They wouldn't bring me on complex or difficult missions to avoid being a burden. Therefore, all I saw was them completing missions with ease and enjoyment. For enemies that could be dealt with by basic attacks, there was naturally no chance to see Zeno use "Dragon Head Dance" or Silva throw energy balls.
"..." So disappointing! The tense and exciting assassination missions were made so anticlimactic by these two bosses!
While following Silva on the mission route, I stared blankly at his long, loose, silver curly hair. It looked so fluffy and shiny; I wanted to pet it.
While following Zeno on the mission route, I looked at his gravity-defying hairstyle. Yes, it's the same hairstyle as Hisoka. How did he achieve it without hairspray? It's truly amazing anime magic.
Finally, I couldn't help but ask Silva when I could go on missions alone.
He said I needed to fix my impatient bad habit.
Then he added that if Illumi were to accompany me, it would be possible.
"..." Illumi again?!
"Illumi is more steady in his actions," Silva said, seeing my displeasure and patting my head. "Although he is younger than you, you cannot judge people solely by their age. Morel, you need to listen to others' advice more; it will benefit you."
I know age doesn't represent intelligence. Illumi is indeed smarter than me.
Damn it!
The flames of envy, jealousy, and hatred burned fiercely in my chest!
Just like in the "real world," I once again succumbed to harsh reality and mediocre talent and brought Illumi with me.
[Illumi Zoldyck Joins the Party]
[Teamwork Bonus Acquired]
[Morel's Intelligence +10]
[Illumi's Attack Power +10]
What is this? Talking about numerical bonuses without considering the upper limit is pointless. Who knows how strong an increase of 10 points is? I didn't feel anything. They're probably just decorative.
Let's get straight to the results. The Zoldycks gave me missions with hidden conditions like "complete without taking damage." Later, they added hidden conditions such as "do not destroy any items within the dungeon," "do not be seen by anyone," "do not kill anyone other than the mission target," and "leave the mission dungeon within 120 seconds." If I failed to meet the hidden conditions, even if I completed the mission, it would still be considered a failure.
Illumi, the Zoldyck's little special operative, diligently recorded all the mistakes I made during missions. After I wrote self-criticisms, I would go to the confinement room to reflect on life.
The confinement room was about one square meter, completely empty, and pitch black, so dark that I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. It was fine to go once, but going too often wasn't pleasant. Other than overthinking, I couldn't do anything else, which was a waste of my time.
I had to abandon my dignity and rush into Kikyo's arms to act spoiled before being taken to the confinement room, demanding that an electric shock device be added to the confinement room to help me pass the long nights. Otherwise, I would surely go crazy in that space where time seemed to stand still.
Mikan, who was present, said he could lend me his glow-in-the-dark puzzle. He thought I had gone crazy, so crazy that I actually wanted to use electric shocks to pass the time.
I "told" him he used the wrong word. How could he use the word "lend"? That puzzle set was clearly a gift from me.
Mikan said that once something is given to him, it's his. He then asked if I wanted to take it back!
"..." No, no one would want to take back something like that, not even me.
"Sister, you need to go to the confinement room," Illumi appeared. Seeing me snuggle into Kikyo's arms, he thought I was trying to escape punishment. "Don't struggle pointlessly, give up, Sister."
"..." You stinky brat, you don't understand at all.
"No, Illu. Mill is just trying to be stricter with herself," Kikyo said, hugging me. "She's exercising even when she's in confinement. Is there any child better than Mill?!"
Yes, like Kalluto. I could already imagine Kikyo changing her mind. True affection is always fleeting, as the saying goes.
Upon hearing that I wanted to use electric shocks in the confinement room, Illumi said this was adding entertainment items, which would defeat the purpose of the confinement room.
That's too much! How can electric shocks be called entertainment? They're painful!
"Mom is too biased towards Sister," Illumi openly declared he was going to report me. "I'm going to ask Dad for his opinion."
Go ahead and ask. I don't believe you can...
"Morel, you need to focus on what you're doing, including confinement. It's not that I'm giving you other punishments, but I hope you can think it through," Lion King waved his hand and gave me a super-doubled dose.
When I came out of confinement, I couldn't help but recall a certain character in the "real world" who was imprisoned at the bottom of West Lake for over a decade. I felt the same way as him, marveling at how brilliant the sun was. However, I was much better off, as there was a "Morel Zoldyck" to chat with intermittently, and I could browse my game backpack to accumulate idle time.
Stretching, I emerged from confinement, and I was a hero again, eating well and feeling great.
I feel like Silva knows I'm doing this on purpose. Yes, I'm deliberately trying out various branching options in the missions, choosing options that I know are not the best. This is something I lacked the courage to do in the "real world."
In the "real world," I didn't dare to make mistakes because my mother would always scold me relentlessly and list all my faults.
As a child, I was full of fear, and as I grew older, I felt more resentment.
Yes, I was always inferior to others, in terms of ability, personality, identity, and status. I always had to bow my head and carefully read others' expressions. The only thing I could vent on was inanimate objects, like walls or pillows.
It's different here. As long as the outcome doesn't deviate too much, there's no reason for me to be severely punished, and Silva won't really do anything to me.
He won't get angry, nor will he scold me.
His lack of anger might be due to his magnanimity or his indifference.
He is the head of the family and values family balance. Compared to personal emotions, he cares more about maintaining rules.
As for Kikyo, she considers my behavior to be trivial petulance. She doesn't mind the process as much as the outcome.
Mikan, the little one, has no right to speak, so his opinion doesn't matter.
What about Illumi? That little brat is a loyal dog trained by the Zoldycks. If Silva tells him to watch me, he will treat it as his duty and perform it diligently and meticulously. Sometimes I feel a bit sorry for him.
Actually, when I was in elementary school in the "real world," I wasn't very well-behaved. I would play with my classmates after school and only rush home when it was getting dark. I don't remember my mother's expression then, only that it was a blur of black. She told me to kneel. I knew I had made a mistake; playing was an impulsive decision. There were no mobile phones to contact her back then, so I couldn't tell her in advance that I would be late. Therefore, I didn't dare to speak and obediently accepted the punishment.
I remember one time she kicked me out of the house. I was crying with a bloody nose, knocking on the door. I also remember she liked to lock me in my room and hit me. I held onto my grandparents' clothes, not wanting to be dragged away by her, but my grandparents remained indifferent. One was busy washing vegetables, and the other was busy stir-frying.
Just as I couldn't remember most of the reasons why I was beaten, she also couldn't remember most of the times she beat and scolded me. When I brought it up, she would curse me as an ungrateful wretch, start feeling sorry for herself, and bring up old grievances.
However, I couldn't bring up old grievances, nor could I put on a sulky face or curse. I couldn't have negative emotions; I had to self-castrate, to cut off my thorns.
But those thorns couldn't be completely removed. They appeared gone on the surface, but they learned to grow against the grain, pricking myself and keeping me awake all night.
When I got a bit older, she stopped hitting me, possibly because I would run away and she couldn't catch me. So, she just scolded me. It wasn't until much later that I realized words could be more hurtful than physical violence.
She said she was trying her best to be my friend and that I should get along with her. I shouldn't hide anything from her... No, is unilateral scolding and confession, this unequal relationship, truly called "friendship"? Parents and children are inherently unequal in status. When logic fails, they use emotions and seniority to suppress others. I knew that telling the truth would make her angry, just like her bad temper, just like how she would use profanity in every sentence when she was in a bad mood. She couldn't change it, and it wouldn't benefit me in any way. I endured it all, playing the part of a "friend" who laughed and talked with her. I didn't say what I really felt.
After wearing the mask of a "friend" for too long, I couldn't take it off when I was around others. I couldn't see my own true feelings, nor could I see others'. I was afraid of being disliked, so I preferred to do and say less, rather than acting impulsively. Moreover, I was a mediocre person without the ability to attract others to approach me proactively. Of course, people like me couldn't make real friends.
I didn't rebel during adolescence. I was so well-behaved that I became introverted. I never raised my hand in class and tried my best to hold it in when I needed to go to the restroom.
I thought I understood things early and thus didn't have a rebellious phase. However, in the last period of my "real world" life, I became particularly sensitive and impulsive, easily moved to tears and easily angered. Every time she scolded me, regardless of whether I was right or wrong, I became furious. I lowered my head, clenched my fists, and endured, my face burning with the heat of anger. Countless times, I wanted to die after she left, to end it all. I imagined her seeing my corpse, and whether she would feel relieved or equally angry.
This must have been my rebellious phase, just delayed. I was too stupid and always slower than others.
As a result, I did nothing right and achieved nothing. I became useless, and I couldn't refute her scolding.
There were too many things I could be scolded for. In every sense, I was a failure.
Perhaps only when I was a target was I the most excellent.
Full of holes.
Here, in this false reality, I want to make mistakes, mistakes within permissible limits, mistakes that appear childish to Kikyo and the others. Anyway, they won't scold me, and I feel a unique kind of freedom. The confinement room is nothing to me.
I tried it. I tried all the mistakes that wouldn't affect the mission results.
Illumi, who was assigned by Silva to watch me, couldn't understand me. He patiently recorded every mistake I made, handed me the notebook, and hoped I would remember.
I remember it. This body has good hardware and excellent memory. See, I haven't repeated any of the mistakes I made, right?
After I had tried everything I could think of, I finally completed a mission meticulously.
Illumi was puzzled by my sudden change in attitude. Out of sympathy, I told him the truth, saying I was tired of playing.
"Huh?" The model student Illumi found it unbelievable. "Work cannot be approached with such an attitude, Sister."
I knew he wouldn't understand.
I retorted, asking if he was going to report me to Silva. He said there was nothing worth reporting and then expressed his relief that I had decided to adopt a proper work attitude.
You stinky brat, who do you think you are? What are you relieved about!
It seems this world doesn't have a custom of celebrating birthdays. In the original work, Kalluto even lied about his birthday as an excuse to advance the battle date, and others didn't make any special remarks about birthdays at that time. Perhaps people in this world only associate birthdays with age calculation and other slightly special days.
No, I don't want to celebrate my birthday. In the "real world," I found it meaningless.
The main issue is that I've turned twelve in this world.
Should I learn "Nen" now?
Only by learning "Nen" can I truly step onto the path of the strong in this world. Otherwise, I'll always be a nobody.
One day.
Two days.
Three days.
Four days.
Five days.
Six days.
Seven days.
Half a month.
One month.
Two months.
I waited and waited, but the content of my training and missions remained unchanged. Recalling my past experiences, I probably have to wait until Illumi turns twelve to learn "Nen" with him.
It's Illumi again.
I'm again an afterthought.
Being a study companion might be considered good. If, in the worst-case scenario, the Zoldycks consider my past misdeeds and decide not to teach me an overpowered ability like "Nen" to prevent any potential destruction I might cause. And later, Illumi uses his convenient Manipulator ability to implant a needle in my brain, altering my thoughts and making me a loyal dog of the Zoldycks?
Relying on oneself is better than relying on others. Besides pondering meditation methods to achieve "Nen" with no progress so far, I need to start considering another high-risk approach: being attacked by a Nen user with "Nen" included, to forcibly awaken "Nen." If I master "Nen" within a time limit, I won't die.
When I am "accidentally" forced to awaken "Nen," and it becomes a done deal, the Zoldycks can't just punch me and make me forget, can they?!
If they only teach Illumi "Nen" but not me, then like Kalluto in the original work, I'll find an opportunity to run away from home, take the Hunter Exam, and have the Hunter Association teach me "Nen"! I'll become a Gourmet Hunter!
Perhaps fate has given the Zoldycks face, because before I embarked on the path of a Gourmet Hunter, I encountered an opportunity to forcibly awaken "Nen."
It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. This is truly... wonderful.