What is love, truly?
Love comes in many forms, with friendship, familial love, and romantic love being the most frequently mentioned.
Thinking about these emotions is like observing exhibits at a zoo through a pane of glass. I cannot truly experience the world on the other side of the barrier, because I am a monster observing humans from behind glass.
In the "real world," I find the creature known as "Dad" to be… quite cunning.
A "Dad" creature, you see, doesn't need to be present often. As long as he appears with a treat before being forgotten, he has fulfilled his paternal duty.
A "Dad" doesn't throw tantrums or give you dirty looks. A "Dad" doesn't hit or scold you. Every time a "Dad" appears, he brings you money and delicious food. The only flaw of a "Dad" is that he's a bit busy and doesn't have time to accompany you—is such a "Dad" a good one?
Is he good? Is he pretty good? It seems impossible to find any fault.
It's like Pavlov's dog; when I see "Dad," I remember the treats he gives me, and I feel… "Dad's" love?
Is the ability to receive benefits and feel happy about them the sensation of "love"?
What is the difference between me and that dog?
Oh, actually, I'm worse off than the dog. A trained dog will enthusiastically wag its tail and body towards its owner, but there's always a pane of glass between me and "Dad." I look at him as if I'm looking at a familiar stranger.
Because I don't understand him at all.
Besides him liking to drink and coming home smelling of alcohol, I don't know his personal likes and dislikes, his past, his specific work, or what he does for so long outside every day.
Except for obeying him and studying well, I don't know how to please him. I only reply to his words with "Mhm."
It's much easier for a dog to please people than for me; they just lick their owner and wag their tails.
At first, I felt guilty towards "Dad," until my mother subtly rotated the bright red apple in my hand, showing me the other half of the apple, which was a poisonous greenish-blue.
"He never held you when you were little."
"How many years has it been? He never prepared himself to be your father. Do you know where he was when you were born?"
"He was wandering aimlessly on the streets."
Although I was half-skeptical at the time, I couldn't refute it by the end of the story.
Divorce is not uncommon in the "real world." There's a saying, "Better to follow a beggar mother than an official father."
There are mothers who would give up anything for custody of their children, yet I've never seen a father who would give up the children for anything.
Mothers might choose not to remarry for the sake of their children, but what about fathers? Don't many divorced fathers remarry very quickly?
If the mother died, would the father raise the child alone?
Of course, there are many fathers who are loyal and righteous, but what about the majority?
It's often said that men can't take care of children and need to remarry to get a stepmother, and stepmothers are associated with abuse in the eyes of the world.
What is true "fatherly" love like?
It's all in the movies, just to be admired through a screen, through a pane of glass.
I've summarized it: it's about what you give, what you abandon, what you sacrifice, enduring hardship and suffering to evoke tears.
Oh, is "love" such a thing?
How tiring it must be to repay it.
How painful it must be to lose it.
Kikyo, although she is very strict with me, from another perspective, after she gave up on killing me at birth, she never let go of my hand. She was the first person in this world to acknowledge me and the one who has always wished me to become better. This expectation is too similar to my "real-world" mother.
Kikyo is slightly better than my "real-world" mother when it comes to disciplining me. She doesn't scold me too harshly or use vulgar language. I would rather be hit than have my heart pierced by scolding.
My mother once said she wanted to get a kitchen knife and kill me when she hated me the most. She's an amateur; I might not die even after being stabbed more than ten times, and it would be agonizing.
Kikyo is different. If she really wanted to kill me, and I didn't resist, I could welcome death in an instant, a peaceful death.
"Whatever you want" and "I'm not going to bother with you anymore" are the two phrases from my "real-world" mother that I fear the most.
She is like a thorn hanging from a cliff, my only lifeline. I feel the pain and the longing, unwilling to let go.
Choose one from the two options.
Either your hands are covered in blood, or you fall into an abyss.
…Mom.
I've thought too much in a moment, and my head is starting to ache slightly.
Let's get back to the game. I can't let Shiba notice anything he shouldn't; he's very perceptive.
I open the game inventory, select the "Daily Necessities" category, and [Take out] a handkerchief to wipe the milk stains from my mouth and hands.
[Pick up] the "milk-stained handkerchief" and put it back into the game inventory.
I select the "Fashion" category.
This is a hidden feature I discovered while trying to customize my inventory categories. Inspired by the special nature of the "Pet" category, I experimented with many types of category names and then discovered that by customizing a category to "Fashion" and then placing clothes inside it, I could achieve the "one-click outfit change" function.
The specific steps for using the "one-click outfit change" function are:
1. [Pick up] any clothing and place it in the game inventory. Move the clothing from the default "Items" category to the "Fashion" category.
2. Select the clothing and use [Remark] to further [Categorize] the clothing, such as tops, bottoms, socks, and so on.
3. Select the clothing again, and prompts for [Take out] and [Equip] will appear. Choose [Equip], and the clothing will automatically be worn on my body according to its category (this operation will be invalid if the clothing is too small). Choose [Take out], and the clothing will appear in my hands or on the ground as a regular item.
4. Clothing that is "equipped" will still occupy a slot in the game inventory. Select the clothing again in the game inventory, and a prompt for [Unequip] will appear. Choose [Unequip], and the clothing will disappear from my body and return to the game inventory.
5. Multiple items of the same category can be [Equipped], one over another, in the order of [Equipping]. The maximum is three layers.
6. All "equipped" clothing, including underwear, can be [Unequipped]. Be careful not to select the wrong item when [Unequipping].
7. Wigs can also be [Equipped] and [Unequipped]. From head to toe, the one-click outfit change has made me incredibly awesome.
Before becoming a Pokémon Master, I unexpectedly became a master of Kichou Wa Wa (a game similar to Love Nikki).
Mom no longer has to worry about me having my clothes blown off in battle!
I select an outer garment from the "Fashion" category, choose [Equip], and [Unequip] the short-sleeved top stained with milk. I then select another spare short-sleeved top, choose [Equip], and then select the outer garment and choose [Unequip].
Alright, I've changed my short-sleeved top right in front of Shiba.
The order of changing clothes must not be wrong. If I [Unequip] the short-sleeved top before [Equipping] the outer garment, I'll only have my underwear on, which would be another social death. I must use it with caution and care.
The operation of [Unequipping] underwear is too dangerous; if done incorrectly, it's not just a minor accident. It's better safe than sorry. I'm worried about "slipping," so the underwear I wear is not [Picked up] into the game inventory to save space, so I don't have to worry about selecting the wrong item to [Unequip].
Alright, fully dressed… Wait!
I stop and turn back. I make my hands into claws, dig up some soil, cover the milk-stained ground, and flatten it.
Mhm, good. [Sudden Event: Embarrassing Spit-up] All traces are handled.
No special explanation is needed. I believe Shiba can understand the ability I'm demonstrating on his own.
The Zoldyck family does not probe into the details of their children's Nen abilities. How much information is revealed is entirely up to the individual. After all, Nen abilities are the most important information for any Nen user. The Zoldycks view their children as extensions of the family, not as mere slaves. As long as it does not endanger the family's safety, they will grant a suitable degree of personal freedom.
Furthermore, even if I don't explain, Shiba is a veteran Nen user with extensive combat experience. Wouldn't he be able to discern this much?
The explanations in manga are for the author to allow readers to understand the world's settings. For the parties involved, especially experienced powerhouses, they are completely unnecessary.
There are only a few fundamental skills for "Nen," and I've already shown most of them in our previous encounters. I think Shiba's objective likely includes assessing the practical application of my Nen abilities.
Fine, there's nothing to hide.
Using the game inventory's [Take out] item function in combat, the most obvious application is suddenly having a weapon in hand, right?
When [Taking out] items categorized as "Weapons" from the game inventory, only one can be [Taken out] at a time. However, ordinary items do not have this restriction, so I placed small throwing weapons in the "Items" category to achieve the operation of [Taking out] four butter knives into one hand at a time.
Opening the game inventory, selecting the category, selecting the items, and deciding the [Take out] quantity—although this series of operations is performed mentally, it still consumes a non-negligible amount of time. One of my daily practices is to improve and shorten the process time for [Taking out] weapons—on the battlefield, time is life.
With my current proficiency, it would be faster to hide weapons directly in my clothes and then take them out. But haste makes waste; what I've done today can only be considered one demonstration of my ability.
Learning to use playing cards like Hisoka or needles like Illumi doesn't suit me, because their thrown weapons are reinforced with "Nen," enhancing their power, which allows them to be used as common weapons.
I am a Specialist, and my Nen capacity is at a disadvantage. Coupled with the daily [Storage] fees for items in the game inventory, my available Nen capacity is even less, requiring careful calculation.
As my master in the original work said, instead of trying hard to materialize a super sharp knife, it's more cost-effective to simply buy a famous sword.
Save as much as possible on "Nen" consumption. The insufficient attack power can be compensated with readily available weapons. The strength of artisans and the power of technology can all become my strength.
Reflecting on the works I've seen, I think Sebastian's use of butter knives as throwing weapons is quite good.
Sharp butter knives, without "Nen" reinforcement, are enough to slit a normal person's throat.
Ninja stars are also good, but ninja stars aren't as cool as butter knives!
Butter knives are still better. The Zoldyck kitchen has plenty of them, and they're all very sharp. While not sharp enough to cut hair with a breath, they're perfectly capable of cutting meat and bones, making them very convenient as weapons.
Throwing a row of butter knives as a prelude, I leaped forward. The newly [Taken out] butter knives appeared in my hands almost continuously, and I threw them at Shiba repeatedly.
The level gap is too great; attacks of this level naturally won't shake him in the slightest. Without leaving his spot, he dodged all the attacks.
Hey, hey, you strong ones really like to play the "don't move an inch" routine.
I lack more effective ranged attacks. If throwing butter knives is ineffective, it can only serve as cover for close combat.
With only one butter knife left in my hand, I grabbed it and slashed at Shiba's throat.
I open my inventory, select the "Weapons" category, and choose [Equip]. The butter knife in my hand instantly becomes a longer kitchen knife, drawing a deeper arc.
Game inventory "Weapon Switching" function: When a weapon is previously placed in the "Weapons" category and is in the "Equipped" state, selecting another weapon from the "Weapons" category and choosing [Equip] allows immediate replacement with the newly selected weapon, changing the attack range.
Thus, with an additional switching process, can I bypass the restriction and [Take out] a weapon at zero distance?
The conclusion is no. The moment a new weapon is [Equipped], if there isn't enough space to [Take out], the new weapon cannot be successfully [Equipped].
So, it needs to be fast. In the instant between "being discovered by the enemy" and "the [Take out] space reaching its limit," complete the weapon switch to maximize its effectiveness.
Alas, in martial arts, only speed can break through!
Theory is beautiful, but reality is cruel. Shiba leaned to his left and backward, avoiding the suddenly changing attack range. Simultaneously, he raised his hand and grabbed my wrist, twisting it.
Mobilizing all my strength, I somersaulted in the direction of the twist. My other hand didn't remain idle; I threw another row of butter knives.
I stole… no, I openly [Picked up] many butter knives from the Zoldyck kitchen. My stock is ample.
As soon as the butter knives left my hand, Shiba grabbed my other wrist. Both hands were firmly restrained, preventing me from throwing more weapons. I didn't attempt to [Equip] new weapons; I hooked my toes, and a taut steel wire coiled around Shiba's left leg.
Shuriken o Whirlwind Technique!
Butter knives pre-prepared in the game inventory, tied with steel wire. Using the butter knives as bait, use the wire to bind the enemy when they are not paying attention. The smaller the contact area, the greater the pressure. Sharpened wires, in many combat works, are powerful weapons. Add "Nen" reinforcement, and their power is even more incomparable.
…Provided the enemy's defense is not higher than your offense.
Hey! What's going on?! I can't even cut the enemy's clothes, and I'm supposed to continue living?
Out of tricks, or rather, the moves I have are all cobbled together. I've only copied so much, and continuing further is just meaningless struggle.
"..." I cheerfully gave up.
Shiba saw that I chose to surrender and released his grip, allowing my feet to return to the ground.
"Mhm, you did think quite hard about how to use your abilities," Shiba affirmed briefly. "However..."
His next sentence was a conjunction, just as I expected. Alas, I was prepared to receive his reprimand; I am not a genius, and perfection is impossible on the first try.
"Your condition isn't good," Shiba said, reaching out to touch my head. "You're not getting enough sleep. That's how you won't grow tall, Muhr."
That's it?
"..." I thought he would give me some other advice.
"Your focus isn't concentrated either," Shiba said. "You pick up too many items... Your method of viewing items is a grid-like image, so you have to divert some of your attention each time you want to take out a specific item, right?"
He was correct, hitting the nail on the head.
I do have a corresponding solution. I told him that I would memorize the grid corresponding to each item, so I wouldn't need to spend energy looking at the image when [Taking out] items. The main thing that diverts my attention is the selection of different prompts after selecting each item.
"No, you're still picking up too much," Shiba advised me to streamline the game inventory, removing useless items (like toilet paper, green onions, ginger, garlic, dolls, playing cards, pillows, leaves, soil, animal hides, etc.) to reduce the daily [Storage] fees for the backpack.
You don't understand this, Shiba!
I need to squeeze every usable "Nen" to its limit to break through the limits. I imagine this path will be very long and arduous, but the protagonists in the original work would often train until they fainted, so doing this has been proven correct!
Asceticism, endurance!
"Also, we're running out of knives in the kitchen," Shiba asked generously. "How many do you want in total?"
I made a "999" gesture with my fingers.
"Alright. Then don't go to the kitchen to get them anymore," Shiba agreed. With the wealth level of the current head of the Zoldyck family, 999 kitchen knives shouldn't be a big deal, just a drop in the bucket.
"Dad," I raised my hand to get his attention and face me, so he could see my unspoken words, "I meant all kinds of knives."
"..."