Nie Qingkong swallowed, his gaze fixed on the knife in Xiang Xueyuan's hand.
He would have preferred it if Xiang Xueyuan had ordered him to hang himself on the spot; he wouldn't have been this miserable.
Xia Qingyu's face, her voice, suddenly reappeared in Nie Qingkong's mind.
"Pitiful."
Yes, he was pitiful.
Though he had strived his entire life to shed that label.
Though he had given everything to escape his fate.
In reality, he had never escaped.
He was a pitiful person, one whose fate he couldn't even control.
Because he was like this from the start, hearing Er Ya relay Xia Qingyu's words had made him like a cat whose tail had been stepped on – angry, frantic, and pained.
In this life, he would never escape this title.
If, if there truly were a next life, Nie Qingkong wished he could be born into a family where his parents were healthy. He didn't ask for wealth, only for his family to live in peace and happiness.
Then, if he could still meet Xia Qingyu, he hoped he wouldn't be a pitiful person anymore.
But in this life, he had no hope of following that light.
Nie Qingkong reached out and took the dagger from Xiang Xueyuan.
Seeing Nie Qingkong make the first move, a satisfied smile appeared on Xiang Xueyuan's face.
Nie Qingkong met Xiang Xueyuan's smile and only felt mockery.
Subconsciously, he wished he would never meet Xiang Xueyuan again.
Turning his head, Nie Qingkong looked at Xifu and gave a bitter smile. "Next life, don't meet me again."
Xifu looked at the knife glinting in Nie Qingkong's hand and smiled.
Gripping Xifu's wrist, Nie Qingkong placed the dagger in her palm. "You've always played this game better than me."
At the time, he had arrogantly drawn Xifu into this mess, feeling pleased with himself for doing a good deed.
If he hadn't been so self-important then, Xifu might have been adopted by a normal but loving couple.
She wouldn't have had blood on her hands at such a young age, nor would she be unable to control her own fate.
This was all his fault. Since it was, he should be the one to end this absurdity.
Xifu shouldn't have been the one to die.
Xifu looked at Nie Qingkong, meeting his smile, and froze. She was suddenly reminded of her mother, and of the words her father had said with a狰狞 face.
After a long moment, Xifu finally spoke. "Tarik, I have no strength left."
"It's okay, I'll help you." Nie Qingkong reached out and took Xifu's hand, aiming the blade at his own abdomen.
"I'm sorry," Xifu said, looking into Nie Qingkong's eyes. She understood the meaning of Nie Qingkong's words from last night. Nie Qingkong lived more clearly than she did.
What she had甘之如饴 was merely an illusion, a lie woven by Xiang Xueyuan. Not only had she believed it, but she had also become deeply entangled. Only at this moment had she truly awakened. "Tarik, I... I have no chance to leave, no chance... to be myself."
After saying this, Xifu turned her wrist, pointing the blade at herself. Before Nie Qingkong could react, she used all her strength to fall into his arms, followed by the pain of the blade piercing flesh and sinking into her body.
It hurt so much...
This feeling hurt more than stubbing a toe.
Had her mother felt this much pain back then?
No wonder she had wanted him to help her.
"Xifu!" Nie Qingkong was stunned. He could feel Xifu's blood soaking his hand through the hilt.
Xifu wanted to tell Nie Qingkong that she wasn't playing this game very well either.
But before that, she had played it once before.
Except, that time, the person she had killed with her own hands was her mother.
Only one of them could live.
Mother was dead.
She lived.
This time, she was tired. She didn't want to play anymore, so she admitted defeat.
Losing to the light she had chased her entire life was not shameful.
She was only grateful that she had already been poisoned; the current pain wouldn't last long.
"Tarik..." Xifu felt her already limited strength draining away. She wanted to say something, but felt blood gushing out, blocking her throat, making her words fragmented. "I, I loved you. From now on, I don't love you anymore. In the next life, I won't love you either. I... I don't want to meet you again in the next life.
I want... I want a chance to love... to love myself..."
In the darkness, having chased the light for a lifetime, Xifu deeply wished that in the next life, she could be someone living in the light, someone who could properly love this world and love herself.
Nie Qingkong felt Xifu's hand fall, and he froze completely.
Xifu was dead.
"Ai..." Xiang Xueyuan sighed deeply, covering one eye with his hand, looking genuinely regretful. "What a shame... what a shame..."
"Master, the structural mechanism of the entire wall has been analyzed. Shall we proceed with the deconstruction now?" someone asked for instructions.
"Deconstruct it," Xiang Xueyuan waved his hand, then looked at Nie Qingkong. "What a shame. I originally wanted you to live. I wanted to give everything to you. But you!
Tarik, you have disappointed me so much."
It seemed that Tarik was too soft-hearted to be a qualified successor.
Alas, there was still time. He would have to train another, more suitable successor.
Years of effort had gone to waste.
Xiang Xueyuan raised his hand, and the last bottle of antidote drew a semicircle in the air before falling to the ground. With a crack, the bottle shattered, and the liquid was absorbed by the soil at a visible rate.
Nie Qingkong stared at the small patch of wet soil, his expressionless. Xifu, lifeless in his arms, was still there.
At this moment, the wall's mechanism had been deconstructed.
The massive wall trembled, vines and branches shook, and then it split down the middle, creating a passage wide enough for one person.
The passage had formed, but the ground's trembling did not cease. In fact, several horrifying ravines appeared.
"Master, the surface ground here is unstable and likely to break. We need to pass through there as soon as possible!" the person who deconstructed the wall said anxiously to Xiang Xueyuan.
"I know," Xiang Xueyuan didn't spare Nie Qingkong another glance. He walked straight ahead, followed closely by others, leaving Nie Qingkong and the dead Xifu behind.
The ground continued to shake, broken earth scattered, and the newly formed ravines grew deeper. A fissure instantly spread to Nie Qingkong's side. A sense of weightlessness hit him, and his body lurched backward. Xifu in his arms tilted back and plunged into the bottomless ravine before Nie Qingkong's eyes.
Nie Qingkong strained with all his might to reach out and grab, but only grasped empty air.
Immediately after, the piece of ground he was standing on began to sink as well.