Xiang Xueyuan looked at the photo of himself and Liu Nuoran on the computer, his heart growing heavier.
This photo was taken 18 years ago, when he and Liu Nuoran had just begun to develop feelings for each other, during an outing in the park.
Liu Nuoran in the picture was young and innocent, in the prime of her life. She was passionate and elegant, her excellent upbringing evident in every way. Her sparkling eyes always held enthusiasm, and the smile on her lips was as sweet as honey, making him drunk and unwilling to wake.
At that time, he already had his own career goals, his own obsessions for which he wanted to dedicate his life.
But after meeting Liu Nuoran, he wavered, even fell.
Eloped, married, had a daughter.
Leaving the institution he had painstakingly entered – it was the first in the world at the time to focus on energy research.
For Liu Nuoran, he abandoned everything and left with her.
He had to admit, he was truly happy during that period. The happiness immersed him, as if he were in the most beautiful dream.
But dreams, in the end, would always end.
He was not happy in his work at the research institute.
The circle was so small, and his elopement with his student became a weapon for other researchers to mock and tease him.
Xiang Xueyuan tried to silence them with his abilities, and he did indeed showcase his strengths in his work.
They were jealous of his talent. Unable to frame him through his work, they ostracized him in his personal life.
He was very depressed during that time, and Liu Nuoran was pregnant. She had severe pregnancy-related reactions, couldn't continue her part-time job, and developed depression. She was irritable and manic, and her anxiety made her suspicious and paranoid.
He faced ostracization at the institute and a wife on the verge of collapse at home.
During that time, the only thing that supported him was the project he was working on.
He yearned for success so much, yearned to prove with his current success that his choices were not completely wrong.
Unfortunately, fate played another joke on him.
His project was snatched away during the second test by the incompetent son of the institute director.
Under the guise of "second testing being tedious and uninteresting work, not requiring a genius like Xiang Xueyuan, but suitable for ordinary people like themselves."
He wanted to resist but was met with even harsher suppression and ridicule.
At that time, domestic research institutes had not yet formed a complete system. The administration was chaotic and intertwined with personal connections.
Rootless and powerless, with only talent, Xiang Xueyuan tasted all the hardships of life in that small research institute.
And the day his project was stolen was also the day Liu Nuoran gave birth.
By the time he rushed to the hospital, Liu Nuoran had already given birth.
Her face was pale as she lay on the bed, exhausted and sleeping soundly. Their child was curled up beside Liu Nuoran like a small kitten.
The medical staff on rounds recounted Liu Nuoran's near-death experience, and the difficulty and danger of her coming to the hospital in the rain to give birth.
Listening to these words, looking at his wife and daughter by the hospital bed, Xiang Xueyuan felt an immense calm. For the first time, an idea arose in his mind: how good it would be if they just died like this.
If Liu Nuoran had died during childbirth.
Perhaps he would have a legitimate reason to completely extricate himself from his current situation, start anew elsewhere.
Continue his research, and correct the wrongs.
But Liu Nuoran did not die. She gave birth to their daughter.
After giving birth, Liu Nuoran was weak and stayed in the hospital for a long time. The cries of the newborn were also bothersome.
Every day felt like burning money. He couldn't resign from his job at the institute; he needed money to support his family.
Days turned into weeks, and Xiang Xueyuan saw reality more clearly. He knew he was wasting his time, that he had been dragged into a quagmire he couldn't escape.
This feeling made him fearful, tired, and weary.
The bullying at the institute and his exhaustion at home tormented him every day.
It was then that his earlier project, after overcoming numerous hurdles, was launched and became hugely popular.
The institute director's son took all the credit, was praised as a son worthy of his father, and enjoyed the glory, flowers, applause, and various research awards of the year.
At that time, a foreign new energy research institute contacted him. They had investigated and found that the project was actually his. They admired his talent, respected his research, and invited him to join.
They would offer him the best treatment and an absolutely free research environment, with the only condition being that he cut all ties with his current life and left with them.
Freedom, absolute freedom.
Such words were incredibly tempting to Xiang Xueyuan.
So, he readily agreed.
The next step was to sever all ties.
His career and his relationships were of little consequence to him.
The only things holding him back were his wife and daughter.
Therefore, he had a final meal with them. He added sedatives to his wife's wine and his daughter's drink, hoping they would leave this world painlessly.
However, in the end, Xiang Xueyuan couldn't go through with it.
Liu Nuoran, weak and powerless, looked at him with those eyes he loved so much.
That was the only time he felt a flicker of softness.
"I'm sorry."
That was the last thing Xiang Xueyuan said to Liu Nuoran.
It was also an apology to his past self, who had been so consumed.
Then, he abandoned everything and left.
Of course, before leaving, he anonymously reported the institute's two project data falsifications, bribery, and unreasonable tax evasion to the law enforcement agencies. Within a week of his arrival abroad, the institute was shut down.
Thereafter, his research became increasingly smooth, and he soon had enough resources to establish his own independent research institute.
His original collaborators were unwilling to let him go. They resorted to threats, temptations, and created many troubles, attempting to force Xiang Xueyuan to face reality.
Abroad, Xiang Xueyuan was rootless and powerless. He had to keep his head down. He abandoned the idea of going independent and continued to serve those people within the institute.
The institute's higher-ups, believing they had a hold on this outsider's weakness, became increasingly reckless, showing signs of repeating the situation at his previous institute.
However, Xiang Xueyuan, now without any attachments, had long lost his vulnerabilities. He became fanatical, intelligent, meticulous, and unscrupulous.
Using the connections he had cultivated, he firmly grasped every opportunity that came his way. In just three years, he managed to take over the institute that had initially bought him out, becoming its director.
The superiors who had made his life difficult, unfortunately, perished in a series of "accidents."
Xiang Xueyuan attended every funeral, expressed his condolences, and even offered additional severance pay, earning him a reputation as a kind, generous, and benevolent person in everyone's eyes.