As the matchmaker left, Gu Yitong breathed a sigh of relief. Turning to explain, she met Afu's wounded gaze and was about to speak.
Afu instantly averted his eyes. His face, already pale from morning sickness, turned even more ghastly from this ordeal.
She dislikes me, wanting to subtly warn me of my impurity. Back then, when my body was seen, I was unworthy of her.
Why bother?
I'm not desperately clinging to you. Why go through such a convoluted path to humiliate me, only to then pretend to be oblivious and "save" me at the last moment, expecting my gratitude?
My heart aches, it aches so deeply…
It's no exaggeration to say it's like being sliced by a thousand blades. Offering my burning heart only to have it doused with a basin of cold water is not enough; it's like being cut into pieces by sharp, icy blades, one slice after another.
And then they throw the pieces back at me, saying, "See? I brought your heart back. I still took good care of you."
Heh, hehe…
I don't want to stay here any longer. The very air here is like knives, and inhaling it would instantly leave my lungs bleeding. I can't stay here for another second, not where she is.
"Young master, I'll be going back now." Afu clenched his fists tightly, trying to transfer all the pain in his heart to his hands. It seemed to work, at least his facial expression wouldn't be too contorted.
He didn't even acknowledge Lu Yu beside him. Afu now only wanted to find his closest relative to speak to. It was just a matter of permission; the family head wouldn't mind.
Seeing Afu's state, Shen Xuan immediately stood up, intending to accompany him back.
Afu lowered his head, his expression unreadable. His face was drawn tight, but Shen Xuan knew that the calmer a person appeared on the outside, the more pain they harbored within.
Afu saw Shen Xuan's intention to accompany him and pushed away the hand Shen Xuan had placed on his arm, uttering only two words: "No need."
He had never been so rude, but he couldn't bear to say another word now. He couldn't articulate it.
Suffocation—
A suffocating sensation spread from his head. His current breath was insufficient to complete a full sentence.
Escaping this place quickly was his only way to preserve his life; otherwise, he would suffocate to death.
Afu no longer paid attention to Shen Xuan or anyone else. He wanted to leave, to escape this suffocating room.
"Afu." Gu Yitong was terrified by Afu's reaction. This was her oversight, but she had no malicious intent. How could she make him believe her in such a short time?
The warmth on her arm was intense, from where she had grasped him.
The feeling of suffocation washed over him again, more violently than before.
Afu couldn't speak, not a single word. He knew Gu Yitong wanted to explain, but he wanted to escape, at least to avoid contact with her for now.
He didn't know what was happening to him, but he couldn't convey his thoughts to Gu Yitong.
"Please." Afu squeezed out two words from his throat with difficulty.
Seeing Afu in such a state, Gu Yitong dared not force him and slowly released her grip.
Finally able to breathe, Afu didn't want to linger any longer. He hurried out the door and, once out of sight of those inside, rushed to his room and closed the door.
He knew that Ada could enter this room, but he couldn't think of that now. He only wanted the peace before him.
Considering the child in his belly couldn't bear the cold, Afu instinctively went to the bed, leaned against the wall, and curled himself into a tight ball, as small as possible, as small as possible…
His fists, clenched so tightly, couldn't be opened immediately and rested loosely on his knees.
The feeling he had just experienced was terrifying, unlike anything he had ever known. For a moment, he couldn't even think about being angry or sad, only wanting to run out and save his life.
As the extreme fear gradually subsided and his consciousness returned, the twisting pain in his heart surged again. Large tears rolled down his cheeks, drop by drop, soaking into his sleeves and wetting the fabric.
He had actually thought she wanted to marry him, that she was sincere. He had even wondered what he should do, whether to agree or how to refuse her if he didn't.
It was utterly ridiculous. Perhaps she had only come to humiliate him.
Afu, Afu, face reality. You are such a hypocrite. You claim to fear Gu Yitong's disdain and want to refuse her, yet you act like this when you learn she has no intention of marrying you.
Truly disgusting.
His emotions fluctuated too greatly, and his body finally couldn't bear it, a fatal wave of nausea overwhelming him.
"Gag! Gag!… Gag! Cough cough!" Afu lay on the bed, his insides feeling as if they were being expelled. He didn't want to dirty the sheets and tried to crawl to the edge of the bed, but he had no strength.
Why did he feel so terrible? "Gag! Gag!…"
Snot and tears smeared his face. All that came out was bile, and a puddle of yellow vomit stained the white sheets.
Afu no longer cared about these things. He grabbed the bedsheet to wipe the tears that naturally welled up during vomiting, his snot also getting mixed in. He couldn't manage it. This bout of morning sickness had come on quickly and fiercely; he felt terrible.
Shouldn't he have realized this sooner? For someone who had gone through such an experience, her willingness to touch you, to save you back then, was a grace. Now, what right did you have to coerce her with the child!
Afu seemed to be trapped in his own vortex, unable to escape.
Cold, so cold, truly cold…
Perhaps the charcoal fire had gone out. Despite wearing such thick clothes, he still felt cold, and his body was growing weaker.
It was no wonder Afu felt cold. The commotion he had just experienced, the violent vomiting, had left him drenched in sweat. Now that he had calmed down, it was not surprising that he felt cold.
Despite his suffering, life had to go on.
Afu used one hand to support himself and struggled to get up. He removed the soiled bedsheet. Lacking the strength to get a new one, he could only lie on the bed and make do.
His lower abdomen had started to ache from the earlier ordeal, possibly harming the child. He knew he needed to rest more now. His body was his own, and the child was his too; he couldn't mistreat them.
He wrapped himself in a thick quilt, but even the quilt felt cold, sending a shiver through Afu.
Gu Yitong, who had followed him to the door, breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the sounds of vomiting inside gradually cease.
However, she still didn't dare to enter easily. Afu couldn't withstand any further stimulation right now.
The room was quiet for a while, then a rustling sound could be heard. Listening closely, it was the sound of fabric friction, perhaps Afu changing clothes or getting a quilt.
After a long while, the sounds from inside stopped. Gu Yitong gently pushed the door open. Afu was curled up on the bed, asleep.
A little later, Shen Xuan and Lu Yu also arrived. By the time they got there, Gu Yitong had already positioned Afu, covering him snugly with the quilt. Lu Yu sat by the bed and felt Afu's pulse, her brow furrowing slightly.
ps:
It won't be angsty, it won't be angsty, it won't be angsty! Important things said three times!
Afu is just getting stuck in a rut. It will be cleared up in the next chapter. I promise! I promise! I promise!
Tomorrow is New Year's Day. Happy New Year in advance, everyone! I'll post two chapters tomorrow!