Chapter 80: 80 ~ Jace
Yelling at a pregnant woman was not how I planned to end my evening, But Mira should have known better.
Why the hell would she stop taking her pills?!
I didn’t need this right now.
This was certainly not the right time to have a baby. I was still on edge, preparing for the Castillos to attack as well as several other enemies.
I had a lot going on with my businesses.
Mira would be an easy target if anyone found out she was carrying my child.
I considered sending her away but no, I needed to keep an eye on her at all times.
Her having my child doubled the risks of her safety. How could she be so careless?
"Unless..." I trailed off, shaking my head in disagreement at the thought of her doing this on purpose. She wouldn’t do that.
~
I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned on my bed as the thoughts of having a child continuously haunted me.
I wasn’t ready to be a father. In fact. I didn’t even think I wanted to be one. But then I couldn’t let my legacy die with me.
Every now and then I pondered on the thought of not having a child brought into this messed up world I found myself in.
If I had a choice, I would not be doing what I did now. But it was a responsibility.
I got on my feet and walked out of my room.
When I got to Mira’s door, I pressed my ear to it and heard her sob.
My hands hovered over the door knob.
A part of me wanted to go in there and scoop her into my arms as she cried. I wanted to kiss those tears away and tell her it was okay.
But it was not.
A child would change everything. We were okay the way we were. Just two people exploring each other in the best way possible without the responsibility of a baby.
Maybe I should have protected myself more but that’s what the pills were for.
Reluctantly, I walked away from the door and headed into my home office.
Since I couldn’t sleep, the best thing to do was work.
~
I woke up with bloodshot eyes in the morning and a sprained neck after sleeping with my head rested on my office table.
After a brief shower, I headed downstairs to get coffee.
Mira was at the table.
"Good morning," she said to me.
"Morning." I muttered in response, gesturing for the help to hand me my cup of coffee.
"I made you something."
"I’m not hungry." I answered tersely.
"But-"
"I have to go now." I cut her short, not waiting for a response as I walked out of the house.
I knew I had hurt her even more but the truth was, I wasn’t ready to confront my emotions just yet by speaking to her. I needed time to myself to think and process everything.
~
I found myself at the central warehouse that morning. Tomas was surprised to see me come in. I hadn’t been here in weeks.
"I need some coffee. Or no, make that some whiskey."
"It’s quite early," he remarked.
I gave him a glare.
"Coming right up," he said, heading to the bar to pour me a glass.
I took the liquid in one swig and it burned my throat. It was a bittersweet feeling.
"Is there something wrong?" He looked concerned.
"There’s always something wrong, Tomas."
"I’m asking on a personal level don."
I exhaled slowly as I leaned back in my swivel chair.
"Mira’s pregnant."
"That’s great news. Congratulations,"
I shook my head. "It’s not good news. Not at all,"
Tomas frowned. "How do you mean? You still don’t want kids?"
"Not yet."
"With all due respect, why did you have unprotected sex then?" He asked the question in such a way, I felt dumb.
"She was on the pill."
"From what I know, those things have side effects. Maybe she stopped them because it was messing with her." He commented.
"Well, she should have told me!"
He gestured for me to calm down. "Easy now. Did you tell her why you don’t want children?"
I let out a sigh, "Don’t get me wrong Tomas, this is just not the right time. There’s so much going on."
"So what do you want to do?"
"I don’t know yet." I said, giving him a look he understood immediately.
"Don, come on,"
"It has to be done. It’s the only way."
"What about her?"
"I’ll make sure she’s fine."
"It’s your life," he shrugged.
He left shortly after that, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
~
I stayed out for as long as possible, knowing Mira would want us to talk. She was more comfortable with me now. The walls there were initially between us were collapsing. Big mistake.
I needed to build back those walls again. I had gotten too carried away and maybe she had too.
I walked into my room late at night and was stunned to see Mira seated there waiting for me.
She got on her feet as soon as she saw me.
"What are you doing in here?"
"Jace we need to talk,"
"It’s Mr Romano to you."
I saw the hurt flash through her eyes but I pretended to be unmoved by it.
I watched her swallow and stupidly visualized all the times she...
Shaking my head, I snapped out of it. This was not the time to think graphic thoughts.
"I don’t have all night, Mira." I told her, maintaining my cold tone.
"I don’t even know what to say to you right now. This was a bad idea,"
She was fighting to keep her emotions at bay. I hated to see her struggling like this but she needed to know that everything was not okay between us.
"I don’t want the child." I went straight to the point.
"Jac- Mr Romano," she corrected herself quickly. "The child is yours,"
"I’m fully aware it’s mine but I’m not ready for a child. Why did you stop taking your pills?"
"How can you not be ready for a child? You have everything you need!"
"That is not the point, Mira!"
"Then what is?!" She yelled back, breathing heavily.
"I do not owe you an explanation." I mumbled.
"Yes you do! This is a child we’re talking about. It’s not one of the silly games you’ve been playing with my life ever since I met you. This is different."
I groaned in frustration, rubbing my hands over my hair furiously.
"Mira, just go."
"No!" She insisted, stomping her foot on the ground. "I’m not going anywhere."
"Fine. Stay here then." I stormed out instead, ignoring her cries behind me.
This was fucked up.