Chapter 132: 132 ~ Mira
Jace was deep in sleep when I woke up. I sat up and looked at him. Even in sleep, he was not fully at rest. It bothered me to see him like this.
I thought that last night would help him ease his stress but it seemed like it was only momentary.
I sighed softly, running a finger over his slick dark hair that fell to his forehead. His forehead scrunched up a bit. I pulled back and let him sleep, fighting the urge to plant a kiss on his forehead.
I got out of the bed and walked to the bathroom, there I took a warm bath and let my thoughts wander as I washed my hair.
Where was my life going with Jace? Was this all there was? Was I going to be with a man whose life could be snuffed out anytime? Yes anyone could die at anytime but the chances of him dying in a gunfight were 99.9% more than the average person.
It broke my heart to think of me losing him the way Donna Carmela had lost Don Vittorio. I in fact, had not moved on from the fact that his father killed mine. It was all so complicated.
The shower door came open just then and Jace walked in fully naked.
"Good morning," he said groggily. His eyes were bloodshot red.
"Are you alright?" I asked in concern.
It was so obvious he hadn’t slept. He disappeared in the middle of the night to god knows where and slipped back in this morning. I was too deep in my slumber to ask where he had been.
"I’m fine." He answered, reaching for the body wash as we stood under the shower.
"Where were you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I felt you leave."
"I stepped out."
His vague responses increased my suspicions.
"What did you do?"
Jace didn’t say anything to me again. He quickly washed up and left the bathroom while I stood there staring after him.
It was too early to fight. Besides, we just started getting along again and I didn’t want to ruin it.
So even when there was tense silence between us as we both dressed up for the day, I decided to not pursue the topic further.
I had work meetings set up for the morning anyway so I missed breakfast.
The year was slowly reaching its end and I was now focused on how the sales and profits of my businesses were doing.
The managers stationed at every branch had been doing well enough but I required a lot more from them.
I had the meeting in Jace’s office.
He was somewhere in the house, most likely in the gym.
The meeting was an hour long and by the time I was done, I felt the pangs of hunger hit slowly while the aroma from the kitchen wafted into my nostrils.
But as I looked around the wide office space, curiosity got the better part of me as I decided to once again snoop around.
I pulled out one of the drawers on the desk in front of me.
There was a file filled with lots of papers.
Just when I was about to open it, the door of the office came open.
"Breakfast is served. You really need to stop snooping around my stuff, mia cara." He said in a dry tone, like he was not surprised anymore by my curiosity.
I swallowed, trying to calm my racing heart.
"You really need to stop being secretive."
He shrugged. "Can’t help it."
Getting on my feet, I let out a huff and went towards him. He smelled fresh.
"You took a shower again?"
"I was sweaty after working out so yeah."’
"You smell nice," I said and sniffed him before I could stop myself.
His chest rumbled with a chuckle as he pulled me to him.
I stayed in his arms for a long moment just enjoying the feel of him. The silence wasn’t awkward this time and it didn’t bite into my flesh. This was the quiet that stilled my mind and did not let it spiral.
"I’m starving, let’s go eat before the food gets cold." I said, catching myself before I would kiss him and forget about eating.
"Yeah," he rasped, looking straight into my eyes.
"Why are you staring at me like that?"
"I’m just wondering how I got so lucky."
"What?" I laughed, trying to douse the seriousness in his tone.
He shook his head and placed a kiss on my head before leading me towards the table.
We ate in comfortable silence until his phone rang.
His jaw clenched as he answered the call. And he barely said anything as the person on the other end talked.
"What’s wrong?"
I watched his expression closely as he stirred the coffee in his cup.
"Enzo’s body was found in a burning warehouse this morning."
My eyes widened when I found out about the death of Enzo. Of course I hated his guts more than anything because he was a jackass but what I didn’t expect was for him to be dead all of a sudden.
"Did you do it?" I asked, staring straight into his eyes.
"What do you think?" He asked back, stunning me to silence.
"Was it Massimo?" I asked after a while.
Jace shrugged. "Could be. He was involved in all sorts of shady things."
I nodded. It made sense. And if Enzo had partnered with Massimo at any point, without enough results it was no surprise why he would have him killed. Massimo almost did the same to me anyway.
"Ricardo must be having a hard time right now."
His phone rang just then.
"Speak of the devil," he smirked, putting the phone on loudspeaker as he picked up.
"You killed my son!!!"
I flinched slightly as Ricardo’s voice thundered with fury over the phone.
"If I’d be careful with the accusations."
"Jacopo-"
"Maybe you should ask one of your allies about what happened to me. I understand that you are a grieving man and your being emotional can be forgiven."
The coolness of Jace’s tone must have irked the old man even more because he immediately cussed him out in Italian.
Jace hung up almost immediately.
"I need to get back to work." He got on his feet again.
"Jace?"
"Yes?"
"You’re sure you didn’t do it?" I asked, gesturing at his phone.
"And I’ll ask again, Mira, what do you think?"
He walked away just then leaving me to wander in my thoughts.
~
The next few days were quite chaotic. Jace was barely home, security had gotten tighter.
I was constantly worrying that something was going wrong.
Every time I asked, his answers were vague, clipped. He would touch my cheek, tell me not to worry, and then vanish again into the night. It left me pacing the halls with a restless ache, staring out of windows as though the shadows might whisper where he’d gone.
But beneath the worry for him, another unease had taken root in me.
It started with exhaustion that wouldn’t go away, no matter how long I stayed in bed. Then came the nausea. It was subtle at first, just a sour taste in the mornings, but growing until even the smell of certain foods turned my stomach. I brushed it off as stress, nerves and the constant tension in this house. But when I caught myself pressing a palm against my abdomen, lingering there as though searching for an answer, a quiet, dangerous thought slipped in.
Could I be pregnant?
The question hit me harder than I wanted to admit. My mind spun with possibilities, calculations of days and nights that blurred together. Every possibility carried weight of hope and terror, both pressing down on me.
I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at my hands. If I was, what then? Would Jace want this? Or would he see it as a complication, another vulnerability in a world where weaknesses got people killed?
I didn’t want a repeat of the past.
My chest tightened at the thought of his reaction. Part of me pictured his eyes softening, his hand covering mine, steady and sure. Another part saw the cold mask he wore when making ruthless decisions, the same one I had seen too often.
I pressed my knees together, burying my face in my hands.
The simple solution was obvious: take a test. A small box, a piece of plastic and an answer in minutes. But the thought of knowing terrified me. Because knowing meant I would have to face Jace with the truth. And facing him meant risking whatever that truth might do to us.
So I hesitated.
Each time I passed the pharmacy in my mind, I imagined slipping in, buying the test, hiding it in my purse. And each time, I stopped myself. What if the result was positive? Could I bear the look in his eyes if he wasn’t ready again? And if it was negative would that strange flutter of hope inside me die quietly, leaving me emptier than before?
I leaned back on the pillows, wrapping the blanket tighter around me, my hand unconsciously resting against my stomach again.
For now, I told myself, I could wait. I had survived secrets before. One more wouldn’t break me.
But deep down, I knew waiting wouldn’t change the truth.