Chapter 44: The scholar who talked too much
The crowd was excited. Today, Li Ming’s new opponent stepped onto the stage. He wasn’t holding a sword, a spear, or even a stick. He carried... a giant book.
"Behold!" the man shouted. "I am Scholar Bai! I know ten thousand techniques, one hundred secret arts, and every weakness of my enemies!"
The crowd gasped.
"He’s so smart!"
"He’s unbeatable!"
Li Ming tilted his head. "Why are you bringing homework to a fight?"
---
The referee shouted. "Begin!"
Scholar Bai pointed his finger at Li Ming. "According to my calculations, you always dodge to the left first!"
Li Ming smiled, then casually stepped to the right.
The crowd laughed. "He tricked him already!"
Scholar Bai frowned. "Impossible! My book never lies! Very well... Attack two! You are weak in your lower body defense!"
He rushed forward with a kick.
Li Ming yawned, bent down, and tied his shoelace. The kick missed completely.
The crowd roared with laughter.
Scholar Bai’s face turned red. "Nonsense! That was just a warm-up! Attack three—"
Before he could finish, Li Ming sneezed loudly. "Achoo!"
Scholar Bai jumped back in shock. "He predicted my words before I even spoke! Truly terrifying!"
---
The fight went on like this:
Scholar Bai shouted about weaknesses.
Li Ming did something random.
Scholar Bai got more and more nervous.
At one point, Scholar Bai yelled, "Your final weakness is buns!"
Li Ming blinked. "But I haven’t eaten any buns today."
The crowd exploded with laughter again.
---
Finally, Scholar Bai opened his book and cried, "Secret Technique: Ten Thousand Words of Doom!"
He began reading his book out loud at incredible speed. "Dao of Fire, Dao of Water, Dao of—"
Li Ming raised his hand. "Stop. If you keep reading, everyone here will fall asleep."
The crowd nodded. Even the referee was yawning.
Li Ming scratched his head. "Alright, my turn."
He rushed forward, tapped Scholar Bai’s shoulder, and said, "Tag, you’re out."
Scholar Bai froze. His book slipped from his hands. Then he fell flat on the stage.
---
The referee raised his arm. "Winner—Li Ming!"
The crowd cheered so loudly the walls shook.
"Li Ming is unstoppable!"
"He beat the scholar without even fighting seriously!"
"He’s too funny!"
Li Ming stretched. "Phew. That was easier than taking a nap."
---
Bonus Bit
Later that night, Wu Jian heard the disciples talking.
"Li Ming beat the sword genius..."
"And then he beat the scholar..."
"At this rate, he’ll beat the entire sect!"
Wu Jian clenched his fists. "No... no! I refuse to believe it! I will be the one to defeat Li Ming!"
Just then, a chicken walked past his courtyard.
It looked at him. Cluck.
Wu Jian shouted, "Not you again!" and chased it with a broom.
The chicken dodged every swing, faster than lightning.
Some passing disciples saw it and whispered, "Wow... Wu Jian is training broom techniques now!"
Wu Jian almost fainted from anger.
To be continued...