Chapter 30: The pill competition begins
The sect master called for Li Ming.
Li Ming walked into the grand hall, still chewing on a bun. Crumbs dropped on the shiny floor.
"Li Ming," the sect master said, eyes sharp. "There is a great pill competition happening in three days. Our sect needs to send disciples. You will go."
Li Ming blinked. "...Me? But I don’t even know how to cook rice. How will I make pills?"
An elder cleared his throat. "You don’t need to make pills, boy. This competition has two parts. First, contestants test their pill knowledge. Second, they battle to protect the pills they refine. Strength matters just as much as skill."
Li Ming’s eyes lit up. "Ohhh... so I just need to hit people until they give me buns—I mean, pills?"
The sect master rubbed his forehead. "In a way... yes."
Li Ming pumped his fist. "Then I accept! Pills and buns, they’re basically cousins. Both go in my stomach."
The disciples in the hall almost fainted at his words.
---
Three days later, the sect sent Li Ming with a small group. They rode spirit beasts to the competition city.
The city was huge. Streets were filled with stalls selling pills of all colors. Round pills, shiny pills, glowing pills—some even floated in the air.
Li Ming’s mouth watered. "Look at all those... snacks."
A junior disciple whispered, "Senior Brother, don’t eat them! They’re medicine, not food."
Li Ming narrowed his eyes. "Medicine that smells this good can’t escape me forever."
---
When they reached the competition grounds, thousands of disciples from different sects filled the arena. Some wore grand robes, some carried pill cauldrons on their backs. All looked serious.
A giant banner waved above: "Pill Masters’ Grand Competition!"
Li Ming squinted. "That banner looks expensive. If I sold it, I could buy a hundred buns."
The junior disciple tugged his sleeve nervously. "Senior Brother, please... don’t cause trouble."
Li Ming patted his head. "Relax. I’ll only fight if someone insults my buns."
---
The first round began. A judge stood on the stage. "Round One: Pill Knowledge! Answer our questions. Each correct answer earns points."
Li Ming frowned. "Pill knowledge? But I only know food knowledge..."
The judge held up a red pill. "Question: What is this pill’s main effect?"
A scholar disciple shouted, "It heals internal injuries!"
Another yelled, "Wrong! It increases qi flow!"
The judge shook his head. "Both are half correct. It does both."
Li Ming raised his hand. "It looks spicy. Probably gives you heartburn."
The crowd: "..."
The judge stared at him. "...Technically, yes. If taken wrongly, it causes burning qi in the chest. That is... correct."
Gasps spread across the arena.
Li Ming smirked. "See? I just say what I taste in my mouth."
---
Question after question came. Strangely, Li Ming’s random answers kept hitting the truth.
"What’s the danger of Frost Jade Pill?" the judge asked.
Li Ming: "Eat too many, and you’ll fart ice."
The judge: "...That is correct. Overuse leads to frozen qi in the stomach."
The disciples: "???"
By the end, Li Ming had the highest score in Round One.
The crowd exploded. "Who is this guy?"
"He doesn’t even look serious!"
"Is he a genius... or a fool?"
Li Ming raised his bun like a trophy. "Round one clear!"
---
The sect master, watching from afar, sighed. "This boy... is either blessed by heaven or protected by buns."
---
Bonus Funny Bit
That night in the inn, Li Ming tried to "cook" pills using a cooking pot instead of a cauldron.
He tossed herbs inside, lit a fire, and waited.
Boom! The pot exploded. Smoke filled the room.
A round, black lump rolled out. Li Ming picked it up and sniffed. "...Smells like burnt buns."
Without hesitation, he ate it.
His qi suddenly surged.
Li Ming grinned. "See? Pills really are just buns in disguise."
To be continued...