Chapter 13: Chapter 13 - Revelation
The camp’s air smelled of ash and blood, but there was something thicker still. A sense of tension.
We were all seated around the fire.
Arthur’s finger rapped against his bowstring, twanging it periodically, Gerard rubbed his thumb along the haft of his axe, but Freya...she didn’t move. She only stared down at her idle sabers.
"You’re insane," Arthur finally said.
Gerard grunted in agreement.
The words didn’t bother me. I could tell they were meant as a compliment. But their actions, and this tight silence when they’d usually converse without end...even with what little I had learnt about conversation, I could tell they were avoiding something. Circling it.
Freya still hadn’t spoken, but she now held my gaze, her green eyes trembling slightly, as though weighing whether or not to reveal whatever they were hiding.
"This is unlike all of you." I said.
Arthur and Gerard’s heads shot up to look at me.
"There is something you wish to tell me, but you do not. Why?"
The three exchanged glances, still hesitant.
Gerard answered with a wry smile, "There’s just no easy way to say it, lad."
...
"Then let me make it easier. Why have all of you been helping me?"
Silence.
Freya exhaled. "Because of my gift."
I waited.
"My Gift allows me visions," she continued. "Glimpses of possible futures. Not often. Not always accurate. But clear enough to act on, most times."
She looked down at her blades, the leather handles of her sabers creaking as her grip tightened.
"A year ago, I saw two visions. The first was of a swarm of Gorge Beetles tearing through Theverie, our settlement. Their numbers were in the thousands, and as if that weren’t enough, they were led by a Disaster-Class."
Her voice cracked, "The city burned. The walls turned to rubble. Platinum Guilds massacred. And my family... all dead."
She looked up at me, her eyes glassy.
"The second vision," she continued, "was of a shirtless man, tan skin, blonde hair, red eyes, lying unconscious near a cliff-face within this ravine. And later, that same man standing against the Gorge Beetles, and winning."
My eyes widened slightly.
"So we searched. For months, we searched the outer layers of the Divide, patrolling the cliffs as far out as we could, until yesterday, we found...you. Not a man. A boy, unawakened, and amnesic."
I was beginning to understand, "So you tested me."
"We had to know how much of my visions would prove true. That is why we helped you. Why we taught you."
My fists clenched, "You lied."
Gerard raised his hands in a disarming gesture, "By omission, lad," clearly trying to ease the building tension.
"But you lied," I repeated, this time looking him dead in the eye.
The group went silent.
I did not delude myself. The revelation was a hurtful one. When I first awakened to find these humans helping me with warm smiles and kind gestures, I believed I had found a place to belong to. Companions I would travel the lands and experience life with. But to now learn it was all an act... a test...
"Helegad." I said, looking to Arthur, "You said ’Helegad’ foresaw a Disaster-Class Gorge Beetle..." and then looking to the rest of the party, "All of it. From before I was even fully awake...all lies. Manipulations. Tests, to gauge my reactions, to study me."
My clenched fists trembled.
"You exploited my lack of memory, knowing full well I was inclined to trust because I had nothing."
They didn’t speak. And of course they couldn’t. Nothing they said could justify it.
I was naive.
My time on Earth was simpler. I only had one job. One purpose. All this...emotion. These feelings...these desires...they had clouded my judgement.
My judgement.
I realized I was going down a rabbit hole. Emotion fueling pain. Pain fueling emotion.
Don’t let it control you, Axel. Use your judgement. Look at the facts.
I looked down to the campfire, exhaling deeply.
Then I looked at them, measuring. Processing. They had withheld truth, yes. Manipulated me, even. But their actions were borne of desperation. Of hope, so they could defend those they held dear.
I put myself in Freya’s shoes. If I had seen such a vision, I probably would have done the same. Perhaps even worse, because I wouldn’t have known any better. And whatever the intentions behind their actions, the results were only beneficial. I had grown stronger, closer to my own goals. I had learnt information that would have otherwise taken me months to find myself. I had learnt of emotion, and after this, I had learnt a little more of the nature of humanity.
But...even knowing all that, I still couldn’t bring myself to trust them.
"I will follow you back to the outpost," I said, standing up.
The hunters collectively exhaled in relief.
"---but our partnership ends there."
Their breaths hitched.
Freya began, "Axel---"
"I will fight for your city, Freya, rest assured..." I said, raising a hand, "...but do not waste time apologizing. I have no use for them. What is done is done."
The fire cracked, burning low, a sinking feeling slowly making itself apparent. I couldn’t cut them off completely. These emotions had made it too tall a task.
Before I knew it, I said the words, "I need....time. Time enough to find my own path."
The group brightened a little as I continued hesitantly, "...and if our paths meet at a later time, then that will be that."
Freya finally released the vice on her sabers, letting her hands rest on her knees as her shoulders loosened a little.
No more words were exchanged, and though there was a wall between us now, I had made it a temporary one.
Why does this body have to come with all these troublesome feelings...
I stood up then, grabbing the skinning knife as I walked over to the Flame Toad carcass. Only then did I realize I didn’t know the first thing about carving out beast cores.
"I can teach you if you like." Arthur’s voice came from right behind me.
I nodded.
It seemed I would be dependent on them a while longer, but I would only give myself until we reached the outpost. On the trek back, I needed to learn as much as I could.
Arthur walked over, but didn’t ask for the knife. "There isn’t much to it, honestly. Beast cores only have two possible locations, right beside the heart," he tapped a finger to his head, "or inside the head."
He approached the toad now, "It depends on the beast, which it’ll be, so always start with looking for the heart, or you’ll go ruin a good corpse for no reason."
I nodded again.
"As for where the heart is? You’ll have to judge for yourself. It’ll always be in the torso, but the exact position is quite variable, but it is judgeable. Comes with experience."
He smiled, "Best get chopping."