Chapter 123: Chapter 123
"We can’t be together Adrian, believe me you don’t want to be with me" I said, trying my best not to let the tears come "What will it take for you to see that?"
"It will take emptiness here" He said using his hand t was on my face to grab my hand and plae it on his chest, above his heart "Emptiness instead of heat and memories"
I stood tensely, all too aware of the geen eyes on my face. All too aware of the broad shoulders only inches from mine.
"you’re running again Nate, It’s time to tell me what you’re so afraid of"
Of you. Of myself I wanted to scream. Of the things you make me feel and a past I’ve tried o hard to forget
"Nothing"
"You’re lying"
I didn’t deny it "It’s finished. It has to be finished"
"it’s just beginning"
I shivered at the determination coating his words "I can" I looked down and caught sight of the scars on my wrist, feeling the others on my stomach and body even though they didn’t hurt, but right then they were almost burning, making me aware of their presence "Just go"
"not until you tell me what you’re so damned afraid of"
"Of you" my breath caught "Of wanting this" My voice broke "There, are you satisfied?"
I heard him breath a soft curse "No I’m not satisfied, not at hearing you’re afraid of wanting me. Who caused you to have so little trust" He came pressed me against the wall, his body molding into mine "Who left you like this Nate?" He whispered into my ear, placing a kiss right under my earlobe and working his way till he reached the base of my neck "Tell me and Ill kill him for doing this to you" He covered my hammering pulse with his lips "you’re trembling"
"I’m not trembling" I said but my voice betrayed me. His lips found the line of my shoulder and planted slow kisses alng its ridge "here" his lips brushed my neck again "and here" he whispered tracing the edge of his shirt
"I-I" My words came out as a sigh as he contined to plant kisss from my shoulder to my arm and then he held my wrst and slowly raised it to his lips. It was when I felt him freeze that I was able to think through my daze and tried to yank my hand away.
"No, Adrian. Let me go"
"Two. Three. A dozen" He said cursing under his breath. He raised my the sleeve of the shirt I was wearing and his jaw tightened as he saw the other faint scars.
"How, Nate? When?" He said angrily
I finally managed to pull away. "You’ve seen, Adrian. Now you can leave me alone. I didn’t ask you to see this."
I could see he was shaking, his eyes changing from the green I loved to black, My eyes widened. "A man did this?" He said angrily and I made a broken sound and turned around, not able to look at him "He hurt you like this? Who, Nate?"
"Who doesn’t matter"
"The hell it does" He growled out "I’ll kill him, I swear to god"
"Just, let me go Adrian" I said as a sob escaped my mouth "Please"
"No" Adrian’s soft voice said and I felt his hands gently catch my arms and turn me around "All I want is you. And a chance"
"There is no more chances Adrian." I said as tears streamed down my face. "I used to wake up crying, wondering who I was and why these happened to me" I held out my wrists "Too fragile, that was the reason. Too hopeful. But not again. not with you or any other man. No more scars, Adrian. It simply isn’t worth it" I choked on another sob "I-I can’t"
Suddenly Adrian pulled me to his chest his arms wrapped around me as I sobbed. "I’ve made my share of mistakes, Nate. Some worse than others. But mistakes help us grow." He said and pulled away a bit to look at my face "But this isn’t a mistake, it never will be. I’d never hurt you intentionally. I’d never want anything but the best for you"
"What if it doesn’t work. I can’t handle the pain of losing someone else, Adrian. Not so soon after I just lost Gabriel, not when I’m still trying not to burst out crying at the very thought of him"
"you’ll never lose me. Only death can take me away from you" he said softly and a small smile curved his lips "And I plan on staying alive for a long time"
"Promise?"
"Promise" he said and grabbed my chin and tilted my head upwards "I’ll always be there for you"
"Wait" I said knowing he was about to kiss me, but he needed to know so he could have a chance to change his mind. "I have to tell you something, Adrian. Now before I lose my nerve"
"Whatever it is can wait" he said as he tried to kiss me again but I moved my face
"No it can’t. You need to be able to change your mind." I took a deep breath "It’s about my--my ex fiance"
I felt Adrian tense "Fiance?" I nodded my head and took a deep breath
"My mom and dad arranged me and Luke, the son of the owners of a very successful company, to marry each other at eighteen. They made us be together at fifteen and we got engaged a bit of years later"
"What happened, Nate?"